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UniQue1992 t1_j1tgfte wrote

HOW to let go? HOW?😔

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pepperinmypaprikash t1_j1urc85 wrote

I think part of it is to become curious about why you’re holding on to whatever it is you’re trying to control and your reaction/response. Spend a lot of time on this step. I’m working on my anger, for example. I get angry when I feel I’m not in control. Sometimes I am able to take a step back and break the situation down. Once I’m able to specifically identify what is (actually) upsetting me, it gets easier for me to let it go. Took me a while because my reaction is still feeling anger, but at least now my *reponse * is way better. (Sometimes. I’m a work in progress.)

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tangledweebledwevs t1_j1uu63z wrote

This, this, this. You can't let go if you don't know what exactly you are trying to let go of. I'm working on my anger as well. I remember reading somewhere once that anger is always about another emotion. For me, a lot of it seems to be about fear. When I can figure out what's really going on, it immediately takes the anger and the fear down a notch so I can think more rationally. But like you alluded to, it is taking lots of practice (and patience) to retrain my brain to respond in a different way.

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Nack3r t1_j1vb2ou wrote

We are all a work in progress my friend. I love the insight.

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Grewsome1 t1_j1wu8xz wrote

I need to learn this. This sounds exactly like me and I can’t stand that I am like this.

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Plasmx t1_j1tk96q wrote

Really depends on the exact problem I would say. If you worry about failure, find alternative ways you can approach when you fail. That helped me a lot to free my mind at least a little. But for anything depending on other persons it's a different way.

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chocolatezenbanana t1_j1usol9 wrote

Thing about this advice is...it's not a solution that you plug in. You know, like, plugging in a toaster to turn bread into toast? There's no such thing as a solution you plug in to turn overthinking into relaxation. Every time you fixate on the HOW, see it for what it is -- a desire for some method you can plug into your life.

I don't think it works like that. It's not a plug, it's a practice. Like tasting is a practice. It's something you learn to do by doing over and over and over. And failing at it over and over. Even today I can't EXACTLY tell if the salt level in a dish is perfect. But I've practiced so much that I'm right more than I'm not. And I'm definitely right more times than I was when I started cooking. You know what I mean?

Just my 2 cents. I'm an overthinker. When I find myself caught in a "I need to control this outcome" spiral these days, I just "play at" relaxing. No method. Just honest trying and seeing what happens. Fuck around and find out, but in a positive way haha. Deep breaths. Noticing my anxious thoughts come and go. Talking to someone about it. Listening to music. Telling myself I'll be okay even if things go wrong. Taking a walk. Some HOW or the other works. And each time I'm practicing "exiting the spiral." The more you exit the spiral, the easier it gets to exit the spiral. With whatever HOW that situation might call for.

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conradkavinsky t1_j1v6jha wrote

Live like how water moves. Instead of resistance try to flow it is easier and brings peace within

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hungrycryptohippo t1_j1uq7yf wrote

Been there myself - if you cant let go now, you for sure can’t hold on forever, so time will let you let go

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master_overthinker t1_j1tfyjs wrote

Oh I HAVE control over what happen next. Trust me.

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ms_overthinker t1_j1xoy5x wrote

Hallo fellow overthinker

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master_overthinker t1_j1xyrwn wrote

Oh hey! Question, how many times have you ended a date because you’ve thought too much into what’s gonna happen tomorrow / next week / marriage? (And how often do you kick yourself thinking back on it?)

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Eyeofthebear t1_j1tpeoi wrote

This advice is entirely situational. Sometimes you do need to take a step back and wait for the next thing to happen, while other times you need to take some time and calculate your next move, lastly sometimes you just need to take a step forward and roll with it.

Edit: Thanks for the award!

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Outside-Reflection68 t1_j1y55b3 wrote

Youre dodging the point of the post.. its not about merely calculating… its about over calculating, over thinking about doing something. Nothing in life as an overthinker should need that amount of planning, that amount of ‘what if’ questions.

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Cevoz t1_j1sx82l wrote

I have a close friend that for some time is in toxic relationship with his girlfriend. She does some really nasty things and he still believes it will be better. We are meeting rarely nowadays because of work, and when we both have days off he usually tells me that he's going to spend time with her. It saddens me beyond measure, i don't have many friends and i feel alone. I don't know what to do.

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secretaire t1_j1tbc4n wrote

Her being toxic and you being lonely are not connected. Support your friend when he needs it and don’t undermine his relationship so you get more bro time. Work on building a wider circle of friends.

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SlackerAccount t1_j1tc9uf wrote

Planning absofuckinglutely helps very often.

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Single-Bad-5951 t1_j1to8a9 wrote

Bad advice for some, good advice for others

Most things take time and planning these days

If you wait, life might never come

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nineofnein t1_j1tqeax wrote

Whats so bad in life passing as long as its pleasant to you... i always hear... live the moment, take the chance... but its the oportunities others see you not you wanting to do... why is their point of view better than yours? If you are ok with your choices who are they to say otherwise?

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akahaus t1_j1ua81n wrote

Radical Acceptance. I literally just started learning about this and it’s definitely gonna take some time given how long I was in the behavioral patterns that got me here, it I am also hopeful that this is the way through my anxiety and other issues.

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Tamazin_ t1_j1tsdk7 wrote

What? Dumbest thing i ever heard. Of course planning and thinking over a problem will give you better control over it.

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clownessa t1_j1uhbra wrote

Really needed to read that now..... Thank you OP

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KeyCar367 t1_j1uhv3s wrote

Thanks for sharing. I wrote it down in my journal.

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HitomiAdrien t1_j1uis2o wrote

This one resonates with me hardcore.

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varungupta3009 t1_j1u875k wrote

I wish it were so simple. How can I not care about people? Why does everything I do need to be perfect. How do I not put in extra extra effort into everything, just to get devastated later on.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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FangMaster4 t1_j1uxav8 wrote

I don’t like this one, at times doing some planning can help you control the situation

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Outside-Reflection68 t1_j1y5k5l wrote

It never stated to not plan.. its talking about overthinking. Comprehension skills is so so low for you

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FangMaster4 t1_j1y6nq1 wrote

I comprehended what it was trying to say, I don’t like how it is worded

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Next_Faithlessness87 t1_j1v06i6 wrote

How can I do that when, if out of my control, all which life throws at me is losses?

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amplifizzle t1_j1vcnzc wrote

Who the fuck is Michell C Clark.

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Small-Butterscotch83 t1_j1vmpkt wrote

Don't just sleep at the wheel all the time tho. Control doesn't have to be a bad thing you coasting assholes ☺

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Reddishpoo t1_j1vpdan wrote

Loosen ur grip, pfft. Yeah like that’s possible.

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[deleted] t1_j1vpqds wrote

Anxiety has entered the chat

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1greentea1 t1_j1w0fdw wrote

🔥🔥🔥🔥🫵🏽💪🏽

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Sexcercise t1_j1wo7dh wrote

Heck, easier said than done.

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outlander10646 t1_j1ze9yy wrote

I like this one, in particular , “Experience life as it comes”.

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Rogue_Evelynn t1_j20kk39 wrote

Me: Let's go of the steering wheel

Everyone else in the car: 😳

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Fattdabztard t1_j25qgih wrote

Overthinking how this is probably the 458th time this message has been screenshot but the blobby font adds a bit of character.

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YesplzMm t1_j1tr5ji wrote

Ha I'm trying. But alot of shit happens and sometimes sweet release is exactly what it is.

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