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TheNerdNamedChuck t1_ixgbcsg wrote

Reply to comment by SomeDisplayName in This is why Pennsylvania the best state, we got Wawa and low child abuse numbers by Hardwarethewolf

me (under 18) and everyone I know who's been abused (under 18 as well) has gone without reporting it. I'm in pa. there aren't really any resources for us it seems

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Yen-sama t1_ixgih3l wrote

Yeah, exactly this. Also in PA. My dad beat the crap out of my brother and I all the time growing up. Nobody around us ever gave a fuck

I'm going to be in therapy and on meds for the rest of my life and my brother has a whole suitcase of issues he refuses to unpack. But yeah, sure, we "turned out just fine"

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MaybeMaeMaybeNot t1_ixhicqo wrote

yeah there's definitely something wrong with those PA numbers. A number of my friends got beat as kids, a bunch of mine & my brothers' friends stayed with us when their parents kicked them out under 18. A bunch of parents neglected their kids and basically didn't raise them at ALL (i'm not counting parents who just had to work a lot here, but there was a lot of that going on as well). And Lord help you if you're the child of an abusive cop, that's all I'm gunna say there. No one reports cause it doesn't do anything. The system broadly doesn't care about abused people. All my love to anyone working in CPS and trying though, that's gotta be one hard uphill battle to fight every day.

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Yen-sama t1_ixhjfmm wrote

No one also reports it because they don't see abuse as abuse, and if you're the abused kid crying out for help, the adults tell you it's not abuse and they had it much worse growing up and stop being "bad" (I have ADHD and was unmedicated my entire childhood), and threatened with worse abuse. "I'll show you abuse."

And this wasn't just my family. I know it's anecdotal, but many of my peers had this same experience and unfortunately many of them have normalized it with the same mentality of "It's not abuse. It's discipline." And "I turned out just fine." Except they didn't. But the cycle continues anyway*

Edit: for the record, I don't know anyone now who beats their kids but I do know a lot of people who are of the mindset that beating kids is healthy and should be brought back, many of these people are childless and hopefully it stays that way. If I see or hear of abuse happening, I won't hesitate to report it

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Clean-Bird3449 t1_ixihc85 wrote

If people aren't reporting, the problem isn't the number, the problem is people aren't reporting.

Can't register an abuse when no one says anything (obviously not victim shaming) also can't help when people aren't asking for it.

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marysuewashere t1_ixijogl wrote

We grew up believing the authorities and foster care were scarier than the abuse we knew. PA is rough on kids.

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Yen-sama t1_ixikseh wrote

"If you don't behave, I'm calling the cops." Was also a common threat.

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SomeDisplayName t1_ixh8g45 wrote

I'm sorry you went thru that. I wish I had an easy answer on how we get resources. Funding education and social services is top of mind, but I honestly don't have a solution

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