What happens when you have a bored billionaire, who has an unhealthy interest in gameshows, with a penchant for being an utter troll, and has too much spare time on his hands? You get the Inconvenience Store. From the day it opened its doors (assuming you could even find the doors in the first place), the challenge was simple: buy an item, and win a cool million dollars.

Sure, it was fun for the first year it opened. It attracted a good share of puzzle solving enthusiasts and the occasional unfortunate tourist. I had my share of attempts too, making it further and further through the maze of inconveniences, but each time, I had to bow out, and drop my items before exiting at the infuriatingly accessible doors marked "EXIT". There was no point stealing the merchandise either. It was all worthless junk, inconveniently packaged to be bulky and difficult to carry. There were no trolleys, carts, baskets or any of that either. But this year, I had a plan. And, I came prepared. Ten years had since elapsed, and this was probably my four hundred and fourth attempt overall.

First, the entrance to the store. It changed every day, and it was typically located on the second floor. You needed to climb dumpsters and other debris outside to even reach the door. Or you could come with a ladder. Carrying my pack of carefully prepared items, I opened the door and stepped into the store, leaving the ladder behind.

The next part of the challenge was simply to find an item to buy. Because, there were empty shelves everywhere, the items all "sold out". Misleading signs hung from the ceiling, and you couldn't look down through aisles (as there weren't any). The shelves were arranged in a maze-like manner, and the floor was wet with spilled... milk. Hopefully. But I had faced these challenges before, and I was prepared. I had identified a blind spot away from all the security cameras, and clambered up a shelf, looking for inconvenient items to buy. Each time was different. This time, it was an entire shelf of bulky, heavy driftwood.

Moving through the shelf maze to the merchandise, I took note of all the money I had. I could only carry so much into the store, and I couldn't just buy anything at my convenience. True enough, when I reached the shelves of driftwood, various price tags were plastered over the pieces of wood. Things like:

USD$62.73, NOW 135.683%, TENTH ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL!

EGP$785.48, WITH 34.64% DISCOUNT, IF YOU BUY AFTER 2PM!

LBP$529.90, EXCLUSIVE DEAL: BUY 3, GET DISCOUNT OF 84.23%!

There was no time to think nor calculate precisely. I grabbed a piece of long, bulky driftwood from the shelf... for around fifty pounds? It definitely weighed more than fifty pounds, though, and for that, I had come prepared with a foldable luggage cart in my pack. Securing the driftwood to the cart, I began looking for the cashier counter.

Again, signs everywhere on the walls, the shelves, the ceiling: "SCAN QR CODE TO GET LOCATION OF CASHIER COUNTER". Most of the QR codes were just rickrolls. I had learnt to recognise the typical rickroll-looking QR code, and thankfully, there were adequate signs with legitimate locations in the Inconvenience Store. The trouble is, most of the counters would be closed, and there was no way to figure this out beforehand. I walked through the maze of shelves, my notebook in hand, checking off the counter locations, munching on an energy bar for lunch, pushing the trolley of driftwood.

Finally, I arrived at an open counter, slightly after 3PM. There was a sign.

"GONE FOR BREAK, BACK IN 15 MINUTES"

I must have waited for another hour, but better to wait, than to take my chances with another potentially closed counter. My patience paid off, as a uniformed lady appeared. Her nametag: "Karen". To date, I had only made it this far a handful of times, and the nametag was always the same, though I had met three different ladies and one guy. All named "Karen".

"Sir, that would be a total of seventy-six pounds ninety-two. How would you like to pay, in Surinamese dollars, or Kazakhstani tenge? Also, we don't have spare change, so exact change will be required..."

Yes! Kazakhstani tenge! I came prepared! "I'll pay in tenge please," I replied, sounding a little more smug than usual.

"Alright sir, after conversion costs, that would be forty-one thousand, six hundred and sixty seven tenge, eighty-seven tiyin".

I opened my bag, stuffed full of world currencies, in various denominations, including coins, valuing up to perhaps a hundred dollars in each currency. I knew I had this. It took me several minutes to count out the cash and hand it to the cashier. I'd never gotten this far before.

What I did not expect, is for the cashier to painstakingly inspect every note and coin I gave her, occasionally giving me the stink-eye as she did. I checked my watch. Time was running out. The store would soon close. Surely this couldn't be a deliberate delay tactic to end my attempt? The nervousness must have shown on my face, as "Karen" seemed to be working slower, enjoying my discomfort. But eventually, she finished the count!

"Alright, do you want a bag for your driftwood?" she asked, after closing the cash register.

"No thanks!" I replied hastily, grabbing the piece of driftwood I bought, hurriedly making my way past the cashier. I had done it! I had bought something from the Inconvenience Store! I wondered what would be next?

"Sir, please pick up your prize money, for successfully buying an item from our store!" the cashier's voice quickly snaps me back to the task at hand. She gestures at the million-dollar cheque, near the exit door. Except, the cheque is made of rigid metal, and is easily around eight feet tall and twenty feet long. The exit door looks like it belongs to a dollhouse in comparison. If I tilt this diagonally I might have a chance..... But then, a familiar chime sounds.

"The Inconvenience Store is now closed. We do not apologise for any inconvenience caused." I am quickly ushered outdoors, without a chance to do anything more than protest.

At least, I got a nice piece of driftwood for my effort.

Stepping onto the cobbled pavement, I stared up at the seemingly tiny store. Large, black letters hung over the top window, reading a very confusing 'INCONVENIENCE STORE'.

Apparently, nobody could ever buy anything from the shop. 10 years and not a single item bought. I scoffed at the idea, surely it can't be that bad. So, completely confident in the idea that I could easily beat this.

The doors swung open before I could even touch them as the short rows of different foods, drinks and newspapers expanded so far I couldn't even see the end. Hm.

"WELCOME TO THE INCONVENIENCE STORE!" A shouting voice echoed, "IS THERE ANYTHING I COULD DO TO NOT HELP YOU?"

Once again, I scoffed. This was the best they'd got? Easy.

As if the store heard my thoughts, large speakers emerged from the ground and starting booming the worst possible music ever. The floors vibrated with the bass banging through the room and the walls shook with either excitement or cringe, I couldn't quite tell.

Steadily, I wondered through the endless aisles, trying to keep my footing as the music got louder and louder. My whole idea was to just grab whatever I could and make it to the cashier tills in the other corner of the store.

A packet of doritos. Easy. I reached out to grab them but just as my fingers grazed the plastic packet, the bag disappeared. Great. I went to get the coke bottle at the end but that disappeared too.

Sighing, I walked to the other side of the aisle, newspapers this time. I figured out I needed to do more than just take them. So I covered my ears as I walked towards the door and grabbed a carrier bag from the pile.

Then, I walked back over to the newspapers and tied the hair tie from around my wrist to the handles of the bag, leaving just a small gap for the newspaper to go in.

I then tried to get the bag over the newspaper without actually touching it, it took a few tries but eventually it caught. Smiling, I retied the tie to completely close the gap and walked towards the tills.

Emptying out the bag, I looked up at the cashier but all I saw was a cardboard cutout. Wonderful. "Hello?" I questioned, unsure if someone was here at all. No response. I decided to walk behind the till but before I could register the newspaper, the till began spinning.

"Might as well just give up.." "WELCOME TO THE INCONVENIENCE STORE!" The same voice from earlier echoed. "YOU HAVE COMPLETED STAGE ONE. ARE YOU READY TO MOVE TO STAGE TWO? PLEASE STATE YES OR NO."

"Yes."

"TRANSPORT IN ACTION."

The room went black. Then a red flash. I blinked and then opened my eyes. It seemed like a basement, but creepier. All the aisles appeared again, I was back where I started.

"WELCOME TO THE INCONVENIENCE STORE! WHAT CAN I DO TO NOT HELP YOU?"

It was different to last time, but only slightly. The lights were darker than before, the room seemed to be on an angle. This was when I began panicking.

A pale person appeared about six inches away from my face.

"WELCOME TO THE INCONVENIENCE ST-ST-ST-ST-STOoooOore." It yelled, yet the mouth did not move. It sounded like it was glitching, a robot perhaps. At this point, I was really scared.

A flash. Bang. Crack. The robot person transformed into a shadowed figure, looking very similar to my grandfather, although he had passed away years before.

"Josie..." the figure smiled, gleaming white teeth matching its glowing eyes. How did it know my name?

"Come to me..give me a hug, Jo.."

A tear slipped down my face, it seemed to hypnotise me. As I walked towards it, extending my arms to give him a hug, its arms also extended, but closer to my neck.

It began choking me, but as soon as I collapsed, I woke up again. This time outside the store. I walked up to the door again but this time it was locked and the old words of 'INCONVENIENCE STORE' had now become, 'YOU HAVE ALREADY ATTEMPTED THIS ONCE. PLEASE TRY AGAIN IN 72 HOURS."

I huffed and decided to just walk home. The store was left undefeated.

You are determined to enter the store and get exactly what you need to succeed. You enter the store and are immediately greeted by someone trying to shove fliers into your face. The lights flicker obnoxiously and the music is set to the most annoying mixture of Christmas songs but for some reason they are all in an edm style. Its horrible, but you continue into the store. You had promised yourself that today would be the day you complete your task. The shelves are a disorganised mess and everything seems to be out of stock. Then you see some toothpaste and smile. You grab the small box and walk quickly to the front counter. The cashier is a teenager with a trainee badge.

“Hello, just this today please,” you say.

“Sorry, I’m not authorised in the system yet I’ll have to get my manager,” the cashier replies.

“Okay no worries.”

The cashier leaves and you start to fidget feeling restless, but you’re so close that you can’t possibly give up. You decide to play a game on your phone and pick candy crush. You play until your phone dies and you sigh. You probably should have charged it all the way. You put your phone away and start to pace. You have to do this.

Finally the cashier returns with the manager. The computer beeps as the manager tries to log into the computer.

“Sorry it seems there is a glitch on this computer and it’s locked me out would you mind moving to register five,” the manager says.

“Oh I’m sure. Where is register five?” you ask.

“That way,” the cashier points and you realise the manager has already left.

You wander off in the direction that the cashier pointed. You see a beautiful fern tree for sale and stand there staring at it for several moments. You love plants and this truly is the most beautiful fern tree you have ever seen. So you decide to get it too. You look around but there are no shopping carts in sight. So you put the toothpaste down and work out how you’re going to get the plant to register five. After several attempts you realise that you can just push the giant tree so that’s what you do. You hope you’re partner loves it has much as you do. You push it all the way around the store into you finally see the manager standing at register five. They seem surprised, probably at the fact that you’re so tiny pushing such a huge tree.

“You found it,” the manger says, “let me scan your items.”

The manager looks at the tree for a barcode but can’t seem to find it. “Hmm guess I’ll have to enter it manually.”

“That’s okay. It’s so beautiful isn’t it,” you say.

“Yes indeed,” the manager says.

They slowly type into the computer and you glance up at the clock on the wall. There is about an hour until closing time.

“Ahh there we are. That’s the one,” the manager says, “cash or card. Oh no I entered the wrong number. I entered the code for. Let me redo that for you.”

They renter the number, then renter it again then again. Suddenly you remember the toothpaste. “Wait just a moment,” you say and rush back to the way you came.

You try and remember where you left the toothpaste, but when you get back to where you are sure was were you got the tree, but the toothpaste is nowhere to be found. You backtrack and sure enough someone had moved the toothpaste back onto the shelf.

The announcement over loud speaker tells you that there is now five minutes until close. You rush back to register five.

“Here, don’t worry about the tree. I don’t have room for it in my car. I’ll have to come back for it.”

“Very well,” the manager replies and types on the computer. After a few moments they scan the toothpaste.

“Cash or card today?” They ask again.

“Card please,” you reply.

The manager nods and types the number into the machine. It beeps loudly and you insert your card. It immediately declines.

“Do you have another payment method?” The manager asks.

“I swear that had sufficient funds on it,” you mutter, than to the manger say, “I have another card.”

But the same thing happens with your second card. “Sorry must be our system,” the manager says.

“Oh that’s okay. I have cash,” you say excitedly, remembering the birthday money your grandma gave you.

“Very well. Let me input that for you.”

You glance up at the clock. There is only one minute to go until the store closes and you really need that toothpaste, so you hand over the note.

“Keep the change. I have to get out of here,” you say and quickly sprint to the exit. You manage to only trip once and you make it out the door with four seconds until the store officially closes.

You head towards your car. You did it, you can’t believe you actually managed to accomplish your goal.

“Excuse me. You forgot something.” You turn towards the frantic voice and see the manger is chasing after you.

The manger hands you a small slip of paper. “Congratulations. Would you mind explaining your strategy,” they say.

“You mean for buying the toothpaste? Wait why did you just give me a check for one million dollars? ” You ask confused

“You won the competition. In the ten years we have been open nobody has succeeded until now,” the manager says.

“Competition? For buying toothpaste?”

“For buying anything. That’s why we are called the Inconvenience Store, it’s practically impossible to buy anything, yet you were successful,” the manager explains.

You laugh, “ohhh I just really needed toothpaste. I ran out the other day.”

“Then why did you come here? Not go to a regular store?”

“I have adhd, I was so determined to buy the toothpaste today and my regular store was closed so this was the closest.”

Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.

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>* Stories at least 100 words. Poems, 30 but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* See Reality Fiction and Simple Prompts for stricter titles >* Be civil in any feedback and follow the rules

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