Comments
Spaceyboys t1_ixgqymo wrote
More pls?
ParisienneWalkways t1_ixha76o wrote
I second this request
astortheredmarbles t1_ixhwgwa wrote
Feel bad for the fourth guy
rain-blocker t1_ixiiw3a wrote
I will take the fall so that the fifth my rise.
the-exiled-muse t1_ixjeotz wrote
Yes please? Pretty please?
OMGYouDidWhat t1_ixjkayv wrote
Spot on mate! A pint and a bit more from you would be nicer than a demon tree tickling yer ares now wouldn't it then ?
EvilNoobHacker t1_ixgdt62 wrote
Notes- Semester 2- 1/14/23- Magical Defense
- "Defense is for pansies who think battle scars get bandaged by their mommies." - Dr. Luke Constantine from Fraudulan University
- Offense = Best Defense?
- Someone who is defending can't attack themselves.
- Damage Over Time > Big Hits Over Short Period
- Pain prevents casting spells
- How to gain "the high ground"- Advantage
- Counterspells
- Low Level spells- Protection Magic
- Low Level Physical attacks- DownB
- Traps
- Both the explosive and catboy kind work as distractions.
- Cunning
- Tricks like lying and [teleports behind you]
- Romance if required.
- Counterspells
- What to do when on the advantage
- Cause as much pain as possible.
- Anything that may break their concentration is important.
- Important spells to practice-
- Worm/Parasite summoning
- Flame Magic
- Water Creation- Only use if you can target lungs.
- Gun-
- Torture Magic
- Itching Magic
- Gun, but Bigger
- Electricity Magic- especially if your opponent has electrical nervous system
- Soggy Pizza Magic.
- Prevent Spellcasting-
- Wand Removal Lessons
- Force Feeding Soggy Pizza
- Gun, But Massive(wrong section, rewrite later- fuck you Jeremy)
- Anti-Magic Wards.
- Gun
- Cause as much pain as possible.
- Conclusion
- When in doubt, attack first.
- Feel > Function
- When in doubt, attack first.
tangy_potato69 t1_ixgojp5 wrote
Catboy traps work as distractions? Noted.
Zondartul t1_ixgfum3 wrote
Seems legit.
ws04 t1_ixi3zvt wrote
gun
MusicDragon42 t1_ixih7pl wrote
Is that an Epithet Erased reference I see?
EvilNoobHacker t1_ixij56k wrote
Not exactly, no. Where did you see one?
MusicDragon42 t1_ixmiwdf wrote
The [teleports behind you] is a move commonly used by one of the characters.
IamN8Wright t1_ixgrbyt wrote
"Nice speech teach, but how exactly are we supposed to defend dark magic... we can't use that here." Said some sullen kid in the middle of the classroom, "its like practicing to ride a damn bike by using a stationary one!" The whole classroom began snickering and murmuring to each other.
Mr. Constantine looked out and then the lights in the room suddenly dimmed, and then in whispered voice, "Your right. Now stand up Dithard, and walk toward me."
The whole class grew quite as they witnessed Dithard standing up, they could see he was helpless to resist, his body was moving on its own, independent of him. Dithard never looked so scared.
"Thank you Mr. Dithard, now walk to the board and write, "I will not use sarcasm in this class again." You will do so ten times, and after the tenth time you may be released from my commands."
"Now class, can anyone tell me what happened there? Jillica?"
"Y-you used dark magic. H-how? W-we are not a-allowed to use dark magic!"
"Very good Jillica, but I am not ready to answer your question yet. With Mr. Dillard's sarcasm aside, he did make a very valid point." At this comment a tear ran down Dillard's face, "who here remembers in the Wards 101 class what happened when you countered a Wind Attack with a Fire based Ward?"
"It ended up taking my eyebrows off!"
"And why was that Herb?"
"Because the two magics combined and created a flame torch." Herb began to touch his forhead where is eyebrows used to be.
"Trust me class, when I tell you that you do not want to see what happens when Dark magic binds to your Ward."
"What happens?"
"Well, have any of you seen a gargoyle? A gargoyle is the result of a specific stone based dark magic attack binding to an improperly set wind based ward. Now there are some other factors that need to be in play but you should get my drift. Wards should only be used sparingly, and if no other option is available. Thus back to my main point, royalling F#@*ing some one up! We want to incapacitate your foe before too much Dark magic is released."
With that there was a loud thud, and to everyone's shock Dithard's head hit the wall and he slumped to the floor and began whimpering. He was not able to immeadiatly stand up, and so one of the other classmates, glaring at Mr. Constantine, helped him back to his seat.
"All right class, can anyone tell me what happened here, with your classmate?"
"You used Dark Magic again on him! I will report this to the Dean!" This came from the student who helped his friend back to his seat.
"You can tell the Dean. It wont change what happened, and it will simply inform her that your not meant for this school. Your dismissed, bye!"
"What?"
"Leave my class, or quit your idle threats. I have little tolerance for sullen brats!"
"Fine. It's whatever anyway."
"No, I did not use Dark Magic that time, contrary to what the Dark Masters would have you think, Dark Magic does have it limits. No, Mr. Dithard did that to himself."
"I fought against the Compelling the whole time. I fought with every muscle I had to stop, I was freaking out! I could see what I was doing, but I couldn't stop. "
"And then when he finished the tenth sentence, he was still fighting it, but with no resistance from the Compelling, he flung himself against the wall. He was also exerting alot of energy that was going nowhere, right?"
"Very good Jillica. Now remember this, Dark Magic can not be used to make someone hurt themselves, or someone they love, but you can use it to make them do it to themselves. I see you are still a little confused, don't worry, we will go over it again. For now though lets move to something a little more rough."
Mr. Constantine snapped his fingers on both hands and with a rustling of air a man materialized in the center of the classroom. "W-where am I?"
Edit: I added a little moar! to the story haha.*
[Not sure what universe the story is established in... but I thought this would still be entertaining...]
rain-blocker t1_ixijfrv wrote
Constantine is from DC. Total douchebag, but an awesome douchebag.
IamN8Wright t1_ixil15q wrote
Ooohhhhh! Thanks.
OMGYouDidWhat t1_ixjjvw8 wrote
Nice. You don't even know who John Constantine is and yet you nailed him!
I'd strongly encourage you to read the John Constantine comics written by Garth Ennis for the DC "Adult oriented" line called Vertigo.
IamN8Wright t1_ixjkr53 wrote
Will do thanks!
Strange_guy_9546 t1_ixibjl1 wrote
Moar!
IamN8Wright t1_ixiixam wrote
I added a little bit for now... just for you haha!
Strange_guy_9546 t1_ixijkb0 wrote
Oww, sweet!
-The_GodDamn_Batman- t1_ixjqt6l wrote
Dark magic relies heavily on illusions. If the devil had any real power he wouldn’t prey on the weak minded and vulnerable. With that being said it is incredibly important to keep your own council. When entering the lair of a practitioner of dark magic never trust your eyes. They will create false hallways to keep you wandering endlessly, and when you grow tired they will move in to begin their manipulation, to try and turn you into a ghoul that does it’s bidding without question, or begin to wear you down spiritually and emotionally, whispering horrible things in an attempt to get you to end your own life, so they may consume your soul. When challenged they will create magnificent illusory creatures to try and terrify you. But if you steel your mind and stay focused and clear the battle becomes much simpler. You can handle the fight from there in a number of different ways. You can charge the beasts and watch as they jump away, just out of your reach every time, plow through their bullshit walls and drive the wizard into a corner where they may be sealed or at least immobilized temporarily. Since most of them bind their soul to an object that cannot easily be found it may not be possible to destroy them, but preventing them from doing any more damage to the minds of the innocent is a nice consolation prize. You may also play their game, run down their endlesss corridors and when they think they have you defeated, reveal the binding spell you led them into and seal them inside where you may be able to grill them for information on their intentions. These creatures have roamed unchecked for so long they truly believe themselves to be invincible, Their arrogance is a weakness you can exploit, be creative, but don’t lose yourself to the darkness in the process. There is no shame in taking a step back to collect yourself. Even the most hardened warriors suffer from fatigue after prolonged exposure to their manipulation. They fear the light, so when you see one preying on a group of innocents try to illuminate the situation. There is no winning this war, It is about damage mitigation and hopefully rehabilitation of their victims. Stay safe stay vigilant. And know when to call in for backup if you see something truly dangerous happening.
ashendragon2000 t1_ixsgpqy wrote
"Alright, you little assholes. Settle down. I'm Mr. Constantine. I've been asked to teach you kids how to defend against dark magic.“
Yup, here he comes, everyone’s favorite.
Mr. Constantine is a veteran, tall, gray hair, never wears anything that covers up his chest and shoulders, scars all over his body, one eye blinded with a red scar that glows.
He said it came from the slash of a cursed sword-spear from a demon general in the Great Abyssal War, that demon general has different title every time he talks about it tho, so we think he just made it up.
“I thought Mrs.Flamington is teaching this” Christine says, the shortest girl in our class, also the best summoner in class.
“What does that witch knows about fighting dark magic? Her sparkle witchcraft does nothing against the abyssal creatures that conjure horrible dark magics” Mr. Constantine shakes his head as though it was the most obvious question that we should not need to ask
“But…. Are we learning to defend dark magic…… uhh….. physically???” Rayard, the strongest kid in class asks. Well, being in the spell-specialist class, he isn’t half as strong as the smallest girl in the warrior-specialist class. But he’s the best illusionist in our class, Mrs.Greenwood, the best illusionist in the school and possibly in the world, always tells us about how he will shine in a few years of training.
“Ha! Those old wizards has lost their mind to want you to learn how to ‘defend’ against dark magic, when you face dark magic, only thing you can do is dodge, and proceed to beat the shit out of the abyss-fucker.”
Mr. Constantine reaches back to grab his great axe, and stomp it on the floor “you little witches and wizards thinks your magic can solve all your problems, I’ll tell ya, all the magic bullshit CAME from the abyss, from demons, they do us human no good, and wanting to compete with demons with magic that came from the abyss is just ignorant, you see back in the abyssal war———“
Here we go again. Mr.Constantine doesn’t teach a lot of our class, but when he does, he has to tell us how all the magic we learned are just garbage and we better off go farming to grow food for the warriors.
After 15 minutes of history lecture and boasting about the glory of himself and his warrior team back in the war, he finally looks at the clock
“Oh well, you little witches won’t get it, no point wasting my time to tell you the truth” he turns and starts looking for something in his bag
As if you didn’t already waste 15 minutes of our life telling us stories that we can memorize backwards. I think to myself.
“Alright, this is gonna be a dangerous class, you kids might die, not that it’s anything new in this school, but if anyone here realized how pointless it is to risk your life here just to be a spell sucker, feel free to pack up and leave, I won’t tell anyone.” Mr. Constantine says in a friendly smile.
No one reacted.
His brow raised. “Well, I expected no less stupidity from you.” He says, trying to show he doesn’t care, but he’s clearly angry.
“Alright, bubble kids, go put up your bubble in the room, against devil, one that keep a devil in here.” Mr. Constantine says as he pulls out a piece of paper.
It’s called a ward. I tell myself not to correct him. “Keep a devil IN this room, WITH US, you’re saying, Mr. Constantine?” I asked, confirming.
“Yes, not that it matters tho, if a devil wish, your bubble does nothing, it’s really the contract that is binding it, and my axe watching of course “
“…….Yes Mr. Constantine.” I motion to the 5 other kid that Mrs. Flamington appointed to help me when a ward is needed, I am the best in warding in the class, so I walked to the door, closed my eyes, put my hands against the door, and led them in the chanting.
“Ehhdhdbshsjxbbahsbdhwjabxvjsnqbshxjebfbk” we spread out evenly along the wall of the classroom, and chant in unison.
When we finished, I open my eyes, a thin blue film covered all the walls, doors, and windows, the part close to me shines the least tho, because I did it the cleanest, Mrs.Flamington says his dead husband can creat ward that is completely invisible to the eye, and almost indestructible if smaller than the size of a car, she says I have the potential to be like him.
Looking over to the front of the classroom, Christine is helping Mr. Constantine summon devil, a red magic array appears as Mr. Constantine chants in awful accents.
A slim, tall handsome men materialize above the array, his skin pale as moon, eyes dark as a starless night.
He smiles.
“Greetings, I am [ ], second captain of general [ ], first lieutenant of [ ], mistress of the Fort Nightstone, servant of [ ], our mighty lord.” He says, with a bow.
He introduced himself, and his master, and his master’s master, all the way up to the God of Devils, all the names were in abyssal language, which we haven’t learned. We will next year tho.
The whole class fell silence after his introduction. We never heard a introduction from a devil so SHORT.
The shorter the introduction, the closer he is to the god of devils, meaning higher ranking, everyone here knows that. Maybe except Mr. Constantine.
In unison, almost everyone in the class drew their wands or magic devices and started chanting
Me as well, immediately start chanting a ward to protect my classmates, although I doubt it will be of any effect against a devil like this.
“Hey now, wouldn’t you say it’s a bit rude to your instructor ?” The devil says, smiling, but with just these simple words we were all forced to stop chanting, muscle frozen. Some cast a pre-loaded spell to attack the devil, which were instant-cast, but the attack simply disappeared as if nothing happened.
“Hahahahahaha, you witches are shitting yourselves in presence of a real devil, I guess you people never change, huh” Mr. Constantine laughs, shaking his head. “Well, this abyssal fuck is bound by my contract, he can’t really harm you too badly, I have him under my fingers so you can calm down and sit down, alright?”
“Mr. Constantine! This is a high——“ Christine stops halfway through her sentence, and forced to sit down by unseen forces.
“Well, humans, as my summoner says, I mean you no harm—— except by that contract I am to take the soul of the person that do the worst at the end of this class as my payment, otherwise you are all reasonably safe.” He says with a charming simile.
“Hey devil!! You’re not supposed to tell them about that!” Mr. Constantine took a step in front of the devil, teeth grinding
“Well well, am I not? Would you kindly point out where in the contract forbid me from talking about it?” The devil blinks innocently. “Honesty is usually not a devil’s creed, but asking a devil to ‘pretend to accidentally kill a human and take that as payment’, seemed like an insult to a devil’s dignity, wouldn’t you all agree?” The devil looks towards us, smiling as he has been, but with a hint of playfulness.
“Fine,” Mr.Constantine turns to us “ just do well in the class, I’ll show you how to beat the shit out of a abyssal dark magic witch, and the one that fails to learn will go to hell, the rest of you just pretend it is an accident, if any one of you here were to tell ANYONE about this, I’ll have the devil to collect your souls, too”
Still frozen by the devil’s will, we are all unable to react.
“May I ask why you’re talking to these human child, my summoner?” The devil asks, head slightly tilting as though confused
“What?” Mr. Constantine turns to the devil, he seemed ACTUALLY confused by what he is asking.
“Well, aren’t you also one I am teaching today, my summoner?” The devil says, blinking towards us.
“No you stupid hell fuck, I. am. the. teacher.” Mr. Constantine says word by word, slowly, as though worrying the devil may not understand him. “you little hell creature are just here to help me as a material, let me demonstrate how to crash a dark magic user’s skull, is that quite clear?” Mr. Constantine looks at the devil, eye brows dramatically raised.
“Well, unfortunately, the contrast only says I should help teach this class of human to the best of my abilities, of defending against dark magic, and a soul that did the worst in the class is to be collected as payment “ the devil says, almost professionally
“Okay okay fine fine fine fine” Mr. Constantine is clearly frustrated, he says as he wave his hand dismissively “your stupid contract is incomplete, but fine, you want to teach, than go ahead, teach, I’m not against it anyway, I can go and do other things, I’ll just come back and see how they do, I don’t really care anyways”
Just as Mr. Constantine about to touch the door, the light blue ward changed color…. Just a little more red, making the ward almost indistinguishably a bit more purple than blue.
“Oh what did I tell you about your bubbles?” Mr. Constantine hits the ward, and immediately turns to me, anger on his face “ I said KEEP DEVIL IN ROOM, not your GODDAMN teacher!!” He yells at me.
“Oh I did that” the devil smiles “ as I’ve just said, I am to teach the human in this class of defending against dark magic, and you, are a human of this class, are you not?”
“You can NOT keep me here, I am your summoner, and I am not a student of this stupid witch class!”
“Well, I am bound by the contract to teach ‘every’ human that is a part of the class when I arrive, which you are clearly a human and clearly a part of the class, the contract said nothing of students or teacher”
“Okay, I’ve had enough, I expel you devil, go back to hell.” Mr. Constantine holds up his axe at the devil (Continue)
ashendragon2000 t1_ixsgsc5 wrote
“Okay, I’ve had enough, I expel you devil, go back to hell.” Mr. Constantine holds up his axe at the devil
“Oh well! Has the class finished so soon?” The devil says surprisingly.
“Yes, class is done, fuck back to hell before I crash your skull, devil”
“Well according to the contract, I am to take one soul from the class when class is finished, so I better hurry and find out who is doing worst at defending against dark magic now” the devil says cheerfully, almost excitedly.
“No devil you didn’t even teach—— you know what? I’m done, you’re done.” Mr. Constantine stomps the floor with an enraged war cry, and charges at the devil at amazing speed.
The devil stood there as if he is just taking the blow, but just as Mr. Constantine’s axe falls upon the devil, darkness fills the room, Mr. Constantine screams in pain.
“Well……. I see you are not a great defender against dark magic? I wouldn’t give you a very good rating for taking that nightmare lightning straight on with your face” the light came back, Mr. Constantine on the floor, holding his face, rolling in pain.
“Oh don’t be a baby my summoner, it makes me look bad, I didn’t harm you TAHT badly did I? The contract bounds me from doing so” the devil shakes his head with a sigh.
“Well, it’s time to test your fellow humans” the devil turns to us, suddenly, we can move again.
Without hesitation, we all continued chanting whatever spell we were chanting before being frozen
With mana flows though of me, a ward is up, just covering all my classmates. About the exact same time, a magical amplifier array appeared under our feet, and a few more wards joined, a few knight spirits were summoned, a dozen of lightning and fire bolts fired, and someone sent a emergency alert out, the school alarm sounded outside
“Well well well!! Aren’t kids the best.” The devil laughed, dodging left and right like a ghost, avoiding all the offensive spells, WHILE chanting in abyssal language
Countless shadowy swords appears, filled the room around our ward, the summoned spirits rushes toward the devil to interrupt, but they just disappeared into the darkness.
“I’d say, you’re all doing way better than that human though, I am genuinely impressed.” The devil laughs, and the dark swords starts to fall in on my ward.
“Hey!! “ in the storm of dark blades, a group of paladins enters followed by Mrs.Flamington and other wizards, “take your prize and go back to hell” the paladins shouts. Since when did paladins became our school security?
“Well, congratulation humans, you all did better than your older fellow, I hope you won’t miss him too much.” He grabbed Mr. Constantine, and bowed as he stepped back into a red portal.
Dark swords, wards, spirits, all disappeared, along gone with the amazing illusion of the paladins and wizards, we all fall to the ground, exhausted.
“That was one hell of a lesson” the last thing I heard myself saying before passing out
AutoModerator t1_ixffrhv wrote
Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.
Reminders:
>* Stories at least 100 words. Poems, 30 but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* See Reality Fiction and Simple Prompts for stricter titles >* Be civil in any feedback and follow the rules
🆕 New Here? ✏ Writing Help? 📢 News 💬 Discord
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
PageTheKenku t1_ixg8ruh wrote
"Sir, how does one fight Avada Kedavra? You've said you have ways of defending against it?"
"No, I said I know how to prepare for after the spell is cast. Today class I will teach you how to sell your souls to multiple devils without them being none the wiser..."
KevMenc1998 t1_ixjatsk wrote
r/hpfanfiction
wathcman t1_ixk4cp3 wrote
This prompt made me think of that one meme of harry potter showing Ron he had discovered guns
SirPiecemaker t1_ixgk0my wrote
"Right, settle down you buggers," the man yelled as he walked into the busy classroom. "My name is John Constantine and because someone cheats at cards," he groaned and frowned in the general direction of the principal's office, "I'm here to teach you how to defend against dark magic today."
The class exchanged slightly confused looks; the man wore a beige trenchcoat, a loose tie, dirtied trousers... he looked less like a teacher and more like a used car salesman at a bar.
"Sir," one of the boys near the front carefully said, "are- are you our teacher? I thought that teachers all wear black robes."
Constantine glared at the kid briefly, but then his face shifted into a smirk.
"Right you are, lad. Seem to have forgotten mine at the stables. Do us a favour, and, go fetch it for us, ey?" he said.
"But- sir, that's the other side of the school," the boy protested. "It's a 20-minute run!"
"Then you best get going, right?" Constantine chuckled. The kid sighed and defeatedly left the classroom.
"Roight!" Constantine yelled and clasped his hands. "What's the last thing you lot learned here?"
"Page 54, sir," a young woman near him said and offered him her textbook. He took it and started turning its pages.
"Ineffective... outdated... last one I saw someone try this one they lost two fingers!" he said and grinned at the class. They did not share his exuberance. He threw the book back to the girl.
"Bleedin' hell. No wonder this school loses a student almost every year," he murmured to himself. "'Aight, listen up you lot. I ain't gonna teach you how to defend against dark magic. I'm gonna teach you how to royally fuck up whoever's trying to hex you, sound good?"
The class responded in a mixed manner - some students lit up excitedly, some grew worried. Constantine reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a crumpled pack of cigarettes, lighting one and taking a long puff.
"Good," Constantine said contently. "Perhaps a demonstration is in order - I heard it's a 'good teaching technique'. How many of you have summoned a demon before?"