I’m finish up reading “The Glass Castle”, and my blood is boiling.

Submitted by Avaunt t3_10n82ux in books

I swear. With each story starting around the middle of the book, my blood pressure has gone up. The author really did an amazing job slowly shifting the tone as the perspective changed from a child to a young adult.

Poor decision after impulsive decision after self destructive decision. I can feel the internal conflict as the author tries to portray both sides of her relationship with her parents. She loved them. In their own way it seems like they loved her. Unfortunately, they were also hell bent on destroying every good thing in their life and dragging their children with them.

I’m to the point where the mom tries to convince her to buy the uncles property, and I’m about ready to throttle her. On the same note though, I have the feeling that if she had sold that property, no amount of millions of dollars would have changed their life trajectory. It would have been gone, just like every other penny they ever earned.

I’m gonna need some light reading after this. Anyone else have strong feelings about this book?

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SeaAnything8 t1_j67nh2d wrote

I had to read this book in high school. I’ll never read it ever again. It hit way too close to home (always moving, money issues, family making uneducated choices), and despite only reading it once at 13, the stories have stuck with me for over a decade. As an adult, thinking about this book makes me upset and disappointed on her behalf because I understand a lot more of the causes and consequences of her family’s lifestyle.

If you want a movie recommendation, The Florida Project had a similar vibe.

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Avaunt OP t1_j67p6jz wrote

I’ve worked with kids that come from disadvantaged and neglectful backgrounds, so it makes me quite mad when parents do preventable damage to their kids. I do not have any personal experience though which keeps it from hitting uncomfortably close to home.

Some of the stories are infuriating. Like, I wish I could get a window into the parents heads to see how they justified their actions. It takes a special level of cognitive dissonance to be too proud to apply for welfare/accept charity, but not too proud to let your children starve, dig through dumpsters, and sneak chocolate behind their backs.

When I read through Goodreads reviews, there was a lot of criticism towards the author regarding how she framed the story and the innocent nostalgia and love for her parents that was present even after everything they put them through. Personally, I thought it was quite impressive. I suspect that capturing the conflicted emotions was not easy to do. It would be very easy to paint the parents as outright villains, but she found a really good balance.

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marybowman t1_j67zuu7 wrote

>The Glass Castle

I haven't read it yet, however, it's now in my digital library so that's what I'll be doing this weekend....:o)

It's amazing how kids still love their parents even after abuse, neglect, etc. I lived it many years ago but still harbor PTSD from it all. I'm in therapy so I'm hoping that gives me some relief. I become so angry at people who do these things to their children.

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vivahermione t1_j68u9fj wrote

>When I read through Goodreads reviews, there was a lot of criticism towards the author regarding how she framed the story and the innocent nostalgia and love for her parents that was present even after everything they put them through.

Maybe they were young. I read it when I was college-aged, and I couldn't believe she still loved her parents after all that. "Why not just cut them off?" I wondered. But young people sometimes see things in black and white or absolute terms. I'm going to reread this, because my opinion has probably evolved.

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aarone46 t1_j69vdar wrote

Florida Project is probably my biggest BP nomination snub I have seen. Devastating, but incredibly done.

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booksnwoods t1_j681r8f wrote

I haven't read it yet (it's on my shelf), but the description reminds me a lot of Educated by Tara Westover

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milleniemfalcon t1_j6by3iz wrote

Tara captured her inner child voice perfectly imo. She was able to write it as an adult but use the perspective she had as a child and that was very impressive to me. Educated and glass castle were both tough reads but they really resonated with me and helped me.

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AJayHeel t1_j68pmfl wrote

Very similar, though Tara is a better writer.

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vivahermione t1_j68vap0 wrote

It's been a while since I read The Glass Castle, but I think Walls' writing style was appropriate for the story she was trying to tell. It started from a child's perspective with a sense of immediacy.

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Maetamongy t1_j67rd2w wrote

The author wrote it very well, I agree with that.
So well to the point where her life felt fictional. I believe it didn't hit me personally because even though I grew up poor, I didn't move around nor did I have any manipulative/self-serving parents.

After that, I kept on reading similar genres (memoirs and slow-burn). Realized that those kinds of books were my favorite. I would read it again, but would like to do it with minimal distractions and pauses.

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Pancakesandbooks t1_j6896e7 wrote

By far one of the best books I've ever read.

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pertobello t1_j68yse9 wrote

I always recommend it when someone asks me what to read

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LOTRfreak101 t1_j69hamf wrote

I honestly hated the book. It was helpful for showing how people can feel certain ways in abusive situations, but i was disgusted by most every person in the book, and knowing that they were real people only made it worse.

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Amazing-Panda-5323 t1_j68d7zr wrote

Bastard Out of Carolina is similar.

Anytime I need a palate cleanser, I'll read something uplifting like Anne of Green Gables.

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Ill-Question-9821 t1_j68nfxo wrote

What was ironic was my abusive mother actually made me read this book when I was in middle school (I had dyslexia and had to take special reading classes, so she forced me to read this so I’d start reading more mature material than the “childish” easy books I was reading) I grew to love it because of how emotionally connected I was able to relate to the author. And I always loved it because I felt that the book was able to capture writing emotions in a complex way that I personally appreciate, because your able to get lost in that push and pull of how many things are being felt in a particular moment, making it so easy to get lost in the experience of almost being there yourself. this book has actually always inspired me to write an autobiography in the future similar to this of my own experiences, since I originally wanted to be an author when I was younger. So to say I’m bias on the book being good is an understatement. Though I’ll admit I had to buy the book again recent bc it has been so long since I read it so I am basing this on what I felt when I was much younger and how I’ve continued to feel about it

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anothercomputeralt17 t1_j68ltmw wrote

I read this and Educated within a few weeks of each other. It made me feel like I grew up rich, when we were just lower middle class at best.

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binkyboo_8 t1_j6aerup wrote

I loved both of these books. Such great writing. Makes me very happy of how I grew up despite thinking my life was crap.

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glowingskeletons t1_j68bw86 wrote

I listened to the audiobook which is narrated by the author and hearing her voice took it even a step higher for me. One of my favorite books of all time

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aramink t1_j694t6x wrote

This book left me feeling the tragedy. The author's gentle treatment of her abusers and those stuck in that cycle was kind, if very sad.

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou and Educated by Tara Westover are memoirs in which an abused child finds her way out while being sad for the people who abused them and they way they lead their lives.

Then there's Hillbilly Elegy by J.D. Vance, who blames the abusers and those stuck in a cycle of desperation for their own problems. That one left me with a very bad taste in my mouth.

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MelaphantMorada t1_j6bddpa wrote

I actually really appreciated Hillbilly Elegy, I think it was definitely different from the Glass Castle, but I thought it had a healthy balance of holding parents accountable while also showing the importance of family. Just because your parents are fucked up doesn’t mean they should drag you down into their mess, also doesn’t mean you should abandon family in their times of need

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upnorthhickchick t1_j68iuyy wrote

She has a new book coming out in March that I have pre-ordered. Hang the Moon.

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Weary-Initiative7580 t1_j68a6ba wrote

Yeah, my therapist has me reading this. Rather triggering for me but kind of the purpose.

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wordyshipmate82 t1_j68jxmi wrote

The fact that she can love her parents after everything they did to her is pretty amazing, and perhaps connected to the fact that she was able to write about it.

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Always_A_Unicorn t1_j69j29h wrote

I read an article that the author’s mom actually lives with her to this day! She has her own room on her property and still hoards garbage… :(

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Avaunt OP t1_j69zl5f wrote

The author’s caretaker streak seems to be an interesting effect of her childhood. She cared for her family and her mom then and continues to do so.

I wish I could understand her mother a little better though. Jeanette shares a lot of positive stories about her father that display both sides of him, but most of her mothers interactions seem either self serving or completely off the wall. There’s a streak of narcissism, but it has to be more than that. Hoarding explains her inability to let things go. Bipolar possibly explains the swings in mood and lack of touch with reality. I don’t know. Just wish I could understand her.

If you look the author up on YouTube, there are a couple videos that have her mom in them and some of her paintings. It brings a new perspective on the futility of her aspirations towards art. They aren’t bad exactly, but also aren’t anything spectacular. If she had any ability to balance, the mom should have been able to work a job and paint as a hobby to make her happy. But that’s a rational brain speaking.

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fdxrobot t1_j6akocc wrote

It’s more lacking compassion that’s speaking. You don’t hoard because you aren’t able to let things go, people hoard because they lost something tremendous and try to fill the void.

People with significant mental illness struggle to hold traditional jobs. Her mother is mentally I’ll and self-serving. Giving birth didn’t change that.

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Emotional-Mushroom39 t1_j6878st wrote

I totally agree and I absolutely love this book. She has 2(?) others which are also good. I was so impressed with how she picked herself up and who she became. Definitely a tough read though. Education is similar, also great, but that one hit me so much harder and I couldn't finish it.

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UrbanTeaLeaves t1_j68p9wg wrote

I read this book in college and it definitely changed how I think about people living in poverty and how it affects their children. It amazes me how the author was able to advocate for herself, go to college, and stop the cycles that occured in the family. There is a movie version that doesn't hit as hard as the book, but was still well done in my opinion.

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Jennifermaverick t1_j6a8x1l wrote

I read that book as a parent of young kids. It made me realize I was doing FINE as a parent. A lot of us worry so much about every little thing. But if you put your kids first and do your best, you are a good parent. Even the worst parents ever (Glass Castle parents) raised a kid who wrote a great novel and seems pretty well-adjusted, considering. The scene when the kids were in the back of the (open!) moving truck, while the parents sat in the front, has always stuck with me as unbelievably shocking.

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Neat-Cold-7235 t1_j69di4m wrote

That book hurt so bad because it reminded me of my dad and I didn’t want to think about that. It made me realize that someone treating you good after treating you like shit isn’t a good relationship to be in. When the dad stole all the money they were saving for NY I literally threw the book across the room.

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Avaunt OP t1_j69km3i wrote

I had a feeling it was coming from the moment she mentioned buying it. I almost thought they were in the clear. Then the shoe dropped. The dads reaction to being called out…the gall. Especially after going on a multiple day binge. I was pacing in my living room coming up with ways to chew him out. (Not that it would have helped anything.)

It’s really hard to juxtapose that man with the one who gave her 1k to help with college. I do think he loved his family. He just didn’t have the capacity to be a decent human being the rest of the time.

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Neat-Cold-7235 t1_j69tktw wrote

Exactly that’s what hurt is knowing he wanted to be a good dad but he couldn’t. And I know he had childhood trauma and even tho he was a better dad then his mom was to him, I also know that generational trauma is hard to break because that’s all he knows. He wanted to be a good dad but didn’t know how to and felt like he needed alcohol probably to cover up the childhood PTSD. The mom on the other hand I feel like had narcissistic personality disorder and couldn’t give a shit about her kids or their well being.

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Avaunt OP t1_j6a1hn5 wrote

Yeah. I don’t understand the mom at all. Narcissism, bipolar, and hoarding disorders maybe? The dad have a lot of humanity along with the demons of addiction. The mom, on the other hand, was constantly either self absorbed or completely off the wall.

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MelaphantMorada t1_j6be05b wrote

I wonder since this is from the author’s perspective that perhaps if she wasn’t as close to her mom as she was to her father (although both were pretty bad parents) that maybe that’s why she doesn’t come off as fully fleshed out as the dad where we see both the good and the bad and could almost empathize with him despite the terrible behavior

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keestie t1_j68figt wrote

I found it quite upsetting as well, but I definitely enjoyed the humour of a lot of the situations. My parents started out as a much less extreme version of this, and then mellowed out a lot and are doing well now, so that helps me be more chill about it.

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Gobergoober t1_j68kr10 wrote

I grew up pretty poor and we moved like fifteen times before I was ten. I'm turn on whether I should read this book. Might be too much.

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boxer_dogs_dance t1_j69gipv wrote

My favorite light reading is All Creatures Great and Small or something by Terry Pratchett, but not the first two Discworld books.

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Avaunt OP t1_j6a61k7 wrote

Diskworld is one of my go to rereads. I almost always go to it when I need a dose of absurdity, satire, or humor. I usually cycle through The Watch books, Susan, Moist, and the stand alones.

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fdxrobot t1_j6ajtlv wrote

My mother is from WV and while I knew the conditions described in this book would shock others, they didn’t surprise me at all. If you are from Appalachia through to southern Ohio, you’ll get it.

If you want to know the why, that is more complex. Appalachia very much has its own (misunderstood) culture. Controversial as it is, “Hillbilly Elegy” (book, not movie) may help break down some of the “why” but it’s not applicable to everyone. WV is critically impoverished but no one cares, particularly not Joe Manchin.

It’s okay that the author grew to be able to accept her parents had mental illness, lack of education, lack of compassion, lack of resources that informed their ability to parent.

My thoughts about it become disjointed because I’m so passionate about the area and the culture and it’s affects on future generations.

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JonnySnowflake t1_j68occf wrote

I almost lost it when her mother floored the car when they were hauling the piano to the second floor because "you told me to drive slow, and you always yell at me when I do 20mph on the highway!". How clueless can you get?

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st-griff t1_j68zhxi wrote

I read this book in high school after an acquaintance had finished it and said it made her so upset she just didn’t want it on her bookshelf anymore.

It hit very close to home, while I didn’t move around as often, my family was always struggling for money, and my parents made a lot of bad, selfish decisions. I was really parentified and I still have a complicated relationship with my parents, but they remain in my life despite everything, even if it’s at arm’s length. I think at the time I was probably a little young to have read this book, but I appreciated her story and it definitely left an impact on me. I remember thinking if she was able to pick herself up and become something, I knew I was definitely going to be okay.

I think I might go back and reread this, now that I’m older and have a little more space from the situation I was in when I originally read it.

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unlovelyladybartleby t1_j696qyq wrote

The bit with the chocolate bar sticks out the most for me.

Have you read the prequel? Half Broke Horses is a novelization of Rosemary's childhood and the life of her mom- it gives a bit of perspective into how she grew up and you can sort of see why she became such a shit mom. Sort of.

After Glass Castle, I like to read The Summer of My Amazing Luck by Miriam Toews (only that one or a Boy of Good Breeding, all her other books are depressing AF)

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Avaunt OP t1_j69je98 wrote

Thank you for mentioning Half Broke Horses. I was actually really curious if it was worth a read.

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unlovelyladybartleby t1_j69spfb wrote

It's really interesting. Kind of a similar tone as The Orderly Disorderly House or the flashback parts of All Girls Filling Station's Last Reunion. She chose to write in her grandmother's voice, so we get to see what grandma was like but it's also somewhat idealized because she was Jeanette's favorite. The bit where they guide the social worker onto the Rez seems like it came verbatim from one of grandma's stories

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C-h_h t1_j69bqe6 wrote

Question here... is this book written by Jeannette Walls? I just tried looking it up but there were a few different results with similars named that popped out.

"The Glass Castle: A Memoir" by Jeannette Walls?

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CitrinetheQueen t1_j69xgew wrote

Now follow it up by reading Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

Trust me.

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Avaunt OP t1_j6a23cf wrote

The summary looks interesting. It’s on my list now. I had to laugh. The title of the first review on audible is “The Subtitle Should Be ‘Diary of a Mad Housewife’”.

I love books about flawed people and clashing life perspectives.

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CitrinetheQueen t1_j6a3yt8 wrote

Yep it’s the parenting polar opposite of glass castle, but disturbed me just as much.

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Equivalent_Method509 t1_j69yoo5 wrote

I love this book and I read it twice. I was inspired by the way Walls and her siblings were able to make it on their own as adults. Clearly her parents were completely insane and continued to get worse as the years passed. For some reason I was able to understand her love for her dad, but her mother was just irredeemable to me.

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Avaunt OP t1_j6a3do2 wrote

Yeah, I’ve replied this a couple times, but the relationship with the mom in interesting and I don’t understand her at all. The dad’s stories have some balance between him trying to be a good dad and completely screwing things up. The good moments seem genuinely caring or at worst like he’s trying to make up for the bad bits. The moms interactions seem emotionally stunted without a scrap of nurturing in them. When the dad was going through alcohol withdrawal, I dont think there was any comfort from the mom at all. All of the “good” moments with the mom also seem a bit self serving. Even celebrating Christmas on Christmas was more for her than for the kids.

I wonder if the way she is portrayed is most indicative of the author’s relationship with her mom or her moms true self. Probably both.

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Avaunt OP t1_j6a0z6w wrote

One of the things I wish I could understand is why someone who supposedly had grand detailed plans to build a “Glass Castle” couldn’t do something as simple as fixing the steps up to the house or insulating the roof. Even a bad attempt?

By all descriptions, he was fairly clever and decent with his hands. I think at least some of that was unearned boast, but a resourceful person can do a lot with a little knowledge and the time. (Even if the end result doesn’t necessarily meet safety regulations.)

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Tight_Knee_9809 t1_j6acmip wrote

Because that would take effort (and potentially failure at the attempt which would then lead the kids to question the abilities he boasts about). He probably could’ve done it but steps aren’t as grandiose as a glass castle (and nothing to brag about).

Our book club read Glass Castle when it first came out and loved it. It lead to great discussion. I have a friend whose parents were abusive (SA and VA) but, to this day, she still speaks of them in a positive way and tries to care for them in their old age. Kids want to be loved and some compartmentalize the abuse and grasp onto the slivers of attention and love they might receive. It breaks my heart. I thought the Glass Castle author did an amazing job at writing about her family and the dynamics. She shows a lot of grace. There were times I felt some pity for her parents, knowing how they probably grew up but, still made me angry for those children. “Education” on the other hand had me mad the whole time at the parents.

Along these same lines, I highly recommend the movie “Winter’s Bone” - set in the Appalachias, it is a story about a girl’s struggles in the poverty and drugs and dynamics of that area. Definitely worth watching.

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tacitic t1_j6bvhh3 wrote

I knew one of the author's nieces for years, she was a bit embarrassed about the movie coming out and drawing more attention to her family. One thing I can say for sure after hearing her stories is that the book is not wildly embellished.

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Kukuran t1_j6a3wui wrote

One of my favorite books. Half Broke Horses is also good, and a little less crazy.

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ResidentNo2467 t1_j6ar9kn wrote

I loved this book. It hit very close to home for me.

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Mrschirp t1_j6aviep wrote

This book changed me. I have mad respect for Jeannette. And yes, I had to decompress after reading the book, it was just……so…..sad.

Also I went from thinking I had good parents, to great parents. I went and thanked them for being there for me afterward.

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yusquera t1_j6bcpr2 wrote

I read this. Her parents were truly rebels. She went through a lot. Crazy that some people live like that. I guess it ultimately worked out for the author and her siblings.

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kentsor t1_j68wzd9 wrote

Hint, it's a book. It's a made up story specifically designed to yank your chain. People pay to experience such emotions and you got your moneys worth.

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