The Irish Prostitute

Submitted by a_nonprofit_prophet t3_y6dxul in funny

#Stolen THE IRISH PROSTITUTE

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her Father cursed her heavily.

'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother through?'

The girl, crying, replied, Dad... I became a prostitute.'

'Ye what!? Get out a here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'

'OK, Dad... as ye wish. I only came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion, plus a 5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club ... (takes a breath) ... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.'

'What was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.

Girl, crying again, 'A prostitute, Daddy!.'

'Oh! My Goodness! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant! Come here and give yer old Dad a hug !!!

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fluffymuffcakes t1_isprwu5 wrote

She did well. I guess it's that old prostitute work ethic.

30

firnien-arya t1_israeeu wrote

She never was above bending over backwards or getting on all fours and using that good ol' elbow grease. She was always up for getting down and dirty. Some girls seem to think they are above that kind of work ethic.

0

FilmoreGash t1_isrldbe wrote

A Polish girl goes home after being gone for 5 years.

Her father says, "Where have you been?" and she replies "I was in the big city working as a prostitute. "

Like this Irish guy, her father goes off the deep end, cursing and berating her. Like the Irish prostitute, she explains herself, but instead of a car, she gives her father $250,000.10

Once the shock wore off, her father asks, "....but who gave you the 10 cents?" to which she replies, "all of them!"

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Sabbathius t1_isq8l7f wrote

That was the general sentiment for relatives of many people who went into adult entertainment. The initial reaction is shock, but as soon as they hear how much money they make, they calm right down. Stigma or no stigma, but when you can comfortably retire at 25-30, it's not that bad.

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hawt_pawket t1_isrkjio wrote

Do people in adult entertainment really comfortably retire at 25-30?

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ChampionOdd6219 t1_isopzcj wrote

funny but why irish?

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roybos t1_isor6n6 wrote

You know, catholic, protestant, in Ireland there's a bit of a rivalry going on there.

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PN_Guin t1_ispvb34 wrote

"a bit of a rivalry" is an interesting way to describe it. Glad nobody got into troubles.

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furiousfran t1_isplpxa wrote

Irish catholics and protestants have a bit of A Thing between them

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Base841 t1_ispxtqd wrote

Geez, I wish I could give you more than just one upvote for your honest question to balance your -7. Seems when somebody on Reddit says something to do with Ireland vs Northern Ireland, there's a flurry of downvotes. Not sure why.

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bajcli t1_isq7wsy wrote

Don't think the downvotes have anything to do with Ireland vs NI at all; it's just a pretty dumb question with a very obvious answer.

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nobodysgirl333 t1_isrdqa5 wrote

Obvious to those who know. Not necessarily obvious to someone who knows nothing of Ireland or the rivalry between catholics and protestants there.

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bajcli t1_isrzf28 wrote

True, but it's still more likely that it got downvoted for that than whatever the other person suggested. Not even sure what the reason for the "flurry of downvotes" was supposed to be: Irish Catholics being offended that their religion is being disrespected? Irish people in general being offended that people aren't aware of their struggles?

Whatever it is, I feel pretty certain that it's not THAT complicated or insidious.

1