If you go down in the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise
If you go down in the woods today, you'd better go in disguise
For every bear that ever there was
Will gather here for certain because
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic

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You have heard this song somewhere. If your parents sung it to you, or if you heard it on a movie. Somewhere, somehow, you know this song. Or at least, it sounds familiar.

I know each lyric so, so well. It was the day that I interrupted the Teddy Bears picnic.

If you go down in the woods today,- I went into the woods and skipped around looking at the beautiful leaves of fall. It was so soft and purely delightful. I was innocent. I was 7.

You're sure of a big surprise- I found a stack of presents sitting against a tree. Some had toys, some had books. Some had pens and paper, some had pieces of pies.

If you go down in the woods today,- I don't know why my mother let me go down into the woods alone. But she did. And I would give anything to take it back.

You'd better go in disguise- I was wearing a pink dress with sunflowers on it. Some small red boot-like shoes, and a pink bucket hat.

For every bear that ever there was- It was exactly 7 bears and 3 cubs. All walking and talking. Gathering and mingling. Even though there wasn't any playing, I swear you could hear a song. A familiar song that gave you a weird sense of deja vu.

Will gather here for certain because- The food was bloody, and full of meat. The cake had fingers sticking out of it. It had a eyeball on top of it. The drinks had pieces of liver and chunks of intestine hanging out of the side of the cups. The bears were laughing and making toasts. They were eating with forks and spoons and knives.

Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic- The way the man yelled and fought as two bears carried him out of the small log cabin echoes in my nightmares. His wailing as they stabbed knife after knife into his hands and legs to pin him down. They way he had his shirt torn open. As the little bear cubs tunneled their fingers through his skin into his abdomen. As the adult bears chuckled in delight at the gleam in their cubs' eyes. As the man screamed when the oldest bear shoved his hand straight through his chest and snatched his heart out. The way he nibbled on the valves before eating the thing whole. The way the man slowly let his screaming stop and his head fell back with his mouth still wide open. The way they tore his eyes out and laughed. The way one of the cubs saw me shaking and trembling, peaking out from behind a tree. The way that same cub smiled and beckoned me over, offering me a piece. The way I ran away crying.

So remember the Teddy-Bears picnic, and sing this song when you go into the woods.

If you go down in the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise
If you go down in the woods today, you'd better go in disguise
For every bear that ever there was
Will gather here for certain because
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic