My [22M] GF [22F] of almost 4 YEARS is considering breakup after she found me complimenting a girl's hair on Snapshat, what should i do.

Submitted by Real_Secret7770 t3_11eblqh in relationship_advice

We are in an LDR, we started dating in 2019 and we were always LDR, we pass a week or some days together every two months or so with dates in between, and the last week she came to spend a week with me, at a moment she told me she wanted to see my phone, i hesitated but gave it to her, she went straight into snapchat, entered the first chat with a girl from uni, she isn't close to me and the only texts there were sent by me one year ago, they were saved by that girl , "i like your hair like this, you should cut it more" she got mad and i panicked and blocked that girl, now she cant trust me and says she don't know how many other ladies am talking to, and if am cheating or if i like others more, and that i complimented others while i didn't compliment her, and she says she don't have any energy to deal with this because of problems we had in the past, and now she wants a break up, i love her way too much, i don't see my life without her, I'm in my final year in engineering school and i had plans to make us official, am sure she loves me too and she did a lot of sacrifices for me, too, some risks and is loyal, she asked for my Insta, i gave her access, she didn't find anything and told me i deleted chats, i did delete some chats but that was long ago when i did a clean-up to my account, she did go through the rest of my snap, i don't know what to do, i did tell her i will do efforts to get back her trust and it's a one-time mistake, she don't believe me and says she is done and needs a break to decide if she is going to break up.

history: we had some serious problems a year ago due to her lying about talking to a guy that i know is a playboy, and cause i found her talking disrespectfully with a guy plus her deleting her chats, and she was doing lots of efforts to get back my trust.

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essres t1_jad18r5 wrote

So she's lied about who she has been talking to, deleted messages etc and is now trying to accuse you of something you haven't done.

Why are you apologising when you know you didn't do anything wrong?

Either she's incredibly insecure and controlling or she is up to no good again and is trying to gain some moral superiority

Either way she sounds like a massive red flag. Do you really need this crap when you're only 22

Bin her off and concentrate on your engineering degree

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hashslingingslashern t1_jad0tlr wrote

Sounds like she is trying to make you guilty lmao tell her ass to calm down or you'll welcome her leaving. She's being manipulative and maybe you should have gone through her phone too since she appears to be deflecting hard.

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snailsniffers t1_jad56sm wrote

Red flag is her taking your phone and checking out your messages in the first place

You've done nothing wrong. Do you want a lifetime of her being insecure, checking on any interaction you have with women, and potentially cheating on you again anyway?

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Real_Secret7770 OP t1_jad6r19 wrote

it was weird, i really think that compliment is not worth this, she never cheated tho, i only found her talking to that person not cheating.

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snailsniffers t1_jad8dic wrote

Sorry I misinterpreted it as cheating. It's not always the case but its a known thing that if someone starts suspecting you it might be because they're behaving badly themselves

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MidLyfeCrisys t1_jad4ioc wrote

I think the problem here is you going on Snapshat. Pictures of 💩? Disgusting.

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