Neighbor’s worker flirting with my fiancé I’m 24F and he’s 27M

Submitted by IndependentLoud1671 t3_127yrou in relationship_advice

We've been together for 3 years and some change and we moved into this apartment a year ago. My neighbor upstairs runs a business and has workers that come daily except on weekends. I never had any relations or problems with them and the owner of the business had actually introduced himself to my fiance when we moved in, just letting us know that he runs a business and to not get frightened by the amount of people going in and out.

Fast forward to months later. he has a certain worker that's always super nice to my partner. She says hi to him every time with the biggest smile, sometimes she gets off the phone just to say hi to him. And every time I've walked by her, she doesn't say a word, sometimes she'd get on the phone just to ignore me. I didn't take it to heart at first because I really am not one for drama, I just mind my business and go on but my partner actually called my attention to it.

On a random day, we had just travelled for a mini vacation with our son and we met her outside on the porch, she didn't say a word. She didn't say hi to either of us but a couple of days after and weeks after that. She would say hi with the sleaziest smile to my partner but not me and at that point. I got really uncomfortable, I spoke with him about it and the next time she did her whole "HI" thing with him. He just walked off and acted like she was invisible.

I’m a big/thick girl and she’s slim and looks great! ( I dislike her but I would not call her ugly even if she was) 😂. My partner on the other hand is quite muscular and ripped but slim ( he’s also attracted to big, curvy women ) Sometimes I wonder if she does it because she thinks I’m miserable/unattractive because of my weight and she has a better chance because she’s much slimmer than I am.

I was thinking of politely confronting her about it but I’m wondering if that’s the right decision. My partner has no problems doing that himself, would it be best if he did? Has anyone had any experience with this?, I tried checking but most of the posts I saw weren’t similar

Ps: We have a doorbell camera and God knows how many times she's dropped a key and bent down to pick it. I'm telling you, she has done that an obscene amount of times, almost 5 times a week)

MINI UPDATE: We just got back from another vacation and she walked by our apartment door and said this to her “friend” on the phone ( I tried to give him multiple chances but then he started playing f*ckin games and acting weird)

I’m probably overreacting but I feel like she’s referring to my partner lol.

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Comments

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trishsf t1_jegfz1c wrote

Of course it’s best if he does it. She knows you exist and doesn’t care. It has to come from him.

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Foolish5678 t1_jegs3uf wrote

This is the only way you will be able to put her in her place

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Javajnkie t1_jegg6zg wrote

I think confronting her would make you look jealous and insecure. If your partner is ok with just ignoring her, go that route. It sounds like you trust him and he’s not interested, so don’t let it get to you.

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AuntyVenom t1_jeggkj7 wrote

"Confronting" her is just going to make you like like the bad guy -- or your partner look like the bad guy; what she is doing is deniable. She's just a worker in your building; can you both ignore her? She says HIIIIIII to your partner; he ignores. You see her, you ignore. This isn't a person worth your feelings of discomfort.

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IndependentLoud1671 OP t1_jegguy4 wrote

“It’s deniable” that’s exactly what I thought. She could make a big fuss about it and make it seem like we confronted her over being nice.

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normalboyz1 t1_jegi0xw wrote

ask your husband to do this.

if you know what time she's coming, ask your husband to wait with you in front of your apartment door, start to do a really hot PDA, hugging, kissing, grab his penis or ask him to grab your ass, make sure she can see. when she walked pass, stop for a bit and you say hi to her. and ask him to ignore her.

just make sure your son doesnt see what happened.

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IndependentLoud1671 OP t1_jegku1n wrote

I like this idea 😄. We work healthcare jobs and we’re almost always burnt out so we’re not ones for PDA but this would definitely make her sulk! I’ll post an update when we do it 😂 and trust me WE WILL

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CandidJudgement t1_jegkdfy wrote

Don't! You'll come across as a jealous person in others eyes and may encourage her to flirt more with your partner. Your partner is already doing a good job at ignoring her. If she continues then he's the one who should shut it down.

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WTF-Hell-No t1_jeh0mkf wrote

It’s best to have him do it to drive the point across. That way she has no reason to pursue him any further.

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bawjaws2000 t1_jegkc56 wrote

If you're comfortable in your relationship - then it doesn't matter what she does; your partner isn't interested and what she does makes not a jot of difference to you.

The high ground is to just do nothing; but if I was you, I would take solace in the fact she is hitting on the person you're engaged to - and would make a point of being disingenuously nice to her, so as to rub her nose in it. She'll eventually get the hint.

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