Should I check on my(24F) lying partner?(26M)

Submitted by ThrowRA_happ7 t3_12833xa in relationship_advice

How do I found out my partner has been going clubbing and lying about it. He says he goes to his friends house etc but I later find out he has not been there. I never checked and always believed him when he said but I feel betrayed now because I was convinced he was honest but turns out he has been clubbing almost every weekend behind my back and I was home thinking and believing him, and when I ask him he says he hasnt been there. Tried everything. Talking to him, calmly, not blaming, being curious instead of attacking, everything. Basically he lies. Now, I dont believe anyone even though people say he goes there and they see him, but I dont believe if I dont see something myself. I got an idea to kinda go there and check it. I would never do it but I will never have the truth. I am just afraid he will see me. Or someone I know. How should I do it? I am afraid he will see me or my car. The safest option is to go by my car and not taxi, but how to stay unnoticed. Have you ever done something like that to finally find out the truth?

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pineboxwaiting t1_jeh0kud wrote

Why do you think that everyone who tells you he goes clubbing on the weekend is lying to you? What possible motive do multiple sources have to lie to you?

Why don’t you just ask whoever it is who sees him there to take a pic?

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hisimpendingbaldness t1_jeh1oth wrote

Why are you still with this congenital liar?

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ThrowRA_happ7 OP t1_jeh1zbd wrote

I see your point. I think I just need to see it myself on my own eyes.

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hisimpendingbaldness t1_jeh290n wrote

The people he is claiming he is with say he is not there. What more do you nee?. You having sex with him while you wait to prove it?

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UnsightlyFuzz t1_jeh1ze8 wrote

Why don't you just confront him? He tells you he was at so-and-so's house. A person (B) tells you they saw him instead at club. So you say to him, "You told me you were at Joe's house but B saw you at Club 64" etc.

It seems safer and easier than sneaking around pretending to be a private investigator.

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