I f29 broke up with my boyfriend m29 of one year last week. My ex is a great guy, we we’re friends for two years before we finally decided to date each other except we didn’t really date, we just made it official and jumped the gun. My ex lets call him A, has one of these high stress government jobs, is the sole provider for his entire family and has long suffered from depression but isn’t seeking help under the guise of her can figure it out on his own. I have been diagnosed with BPD, depression, and ADHD and currently between doctors. To get to the point A would usually talk to me as if I was his therapist, which in all honesty I have encouraged him multiple of time to feel comfortable and to communicate and be vulnerable. The problem is, i became the sole recipient of his trauma, panic attacks and depressive episodes. I would sit and listen and comfort him for hours. Leave back to my house feeling drained and exhausted. we didn’t argue and any fights were resolved. Until recently. An incident happened and he got a bit aggressive, towards himself and not me. But i was there and it scared the living $hit out of me. Because of my personality being dismissive and avoidant of most things that upsets me, i wanted to move past it. We talked about it and why he felt the way he felt, but I hadn’t given him my input in fear of reacting negatively. To me it was let bygones be bygones. Last week we were having an argument and I suddenly felt myself break, I couldn’t contain how exhausted and tattered i felt. I wanted things to stop so i blurted out that I want to break up, that I was tired and feeling like a lot of things at the same time. I probably said some hurtful things but I would he lying if i said I remember that conversation clearly. He said he wouldn’t accept this break up and that was that. I left feeling even more exhausted even more emotionally stimulated to the point of numbness. I know this doesn’t make any sense but its the best way I can describe it. One week later and i still feel the same, i miss him dearly. But I can’t stop feeling like I am exhausted, I can’t cry for some reason even though i am a crybaby. I’m thinking about texting him to meet and talk some more, but i wouldn’t even know where to begin since i don’t understand my own feelings. What is a proper way for me to go about this?

TLDR: I broke up with my boyfriend because i was feeling too much and it didn’t change anything, now I feel like i should reach out and maybe talk some more but unsure of how to do that.