[20F] [20M] my boyfriend made new year plans with his other friends while my dad is in the hospital

Submitted by RepresentativeJob247 t3_zz5i62 in relationship_advice

should I be mad at my boyfriend for going out when my dad is in the hospital?

well so my dad's been sick,he's bipolar and last week was not pretty for us.He was aggressive,abusive and what not.So,we had to hospitalise him and the week's been pretty rough on us family members.And it's new year's tomorrow and my bf made plans with his other friends.I'm confused whether is that okay or no.I won't get mad though because i'm emotionally exhausted because of dad and my medical school exams so didn't want to have any further conversation.I just wanted someone's opinion on this?

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xvszero t1_j29mx2y wrote

What do you wish your boyfriend was doing on NYE instead?

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RepresentativeJob247 OP t1_j2bou5j wrote

it's okay if he goes out but i'd be just a bit uncomfortable in such a situation that he's out partying and im here with dad

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xvszero t1_j2bxdvo wrote

Are you going to be with dad on NYE? Do you wish your boyfriend stayed with you and dad?

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RepresentativeJob247 OP t1_j2cefvg wrote

that's not possible because my brown dad does not know that he's my bf :,

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rcsdil t1_j2cylif wrote

Wait, so you’re upset that he’s going out but he can’t stay with you anyway? So what do you want him to do, sit at home alone?

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rcsdil t1_j29pr6w wrote

Depends on so many things.

How long have you two been together? If we’re talking a few weeks to a few months, I don’t think it’s surprising or bad that he’s got plans that are independent of you, it’s just unfortunate that it coincides with your dad being ill. If you’ve been together for years, I think that he should be more serious and considerate about you and your needs.

Did you ask him to be with you for NYE? If you did and he ignored your wishes without talking to you about it, that would be hurtful. If you didn’t bring it up, he might not have thought about it much and decided to do what he was always going to do, in fact he might even be thinking that you guys need family time and he doesn’t want to intrude. Especially, again, if this is a newer relationship.

When did he make these plans? If it has been planned for weeks in advance, it makes more sense that he’d carry on with his plans. If they were only made after your dad went into hospital, I might be a little hurt if he didn’t ask me first, but again that depends on the first two points I.e. how long you’ve been together and if you actually asked him to be with you on NYE.

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RepresentativeJob247 OP t1_j2bomlj wrote

we've been together for over a year now we were supposed to spend new years together before my dad fell sick i suppose he had plans early on

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