I (21F) don't know if what my fwb (21M) did is considered cheating or not

Submitted by buhbutttt t3_10pdwcd in relationship_advice

We had been friends with benefits on and off for about 8 months after we broke up in March 2022. I knew he had been talking to another girl in June and that he had feelings for her but he still wanted to continue our situationship with the excuse that they weren't exclusive. About a week ago, I had found out from a friend that he and that girl had been together for a month, but he was still asking me for pics and shit. When I confronted him about it he claimed that he didn't want to tell me he had a girlfriend because he was scared of how I'd react and that he didn't want to lose me as a friend. I had asked him before if he had a girlfriend and he straight up said no. When I asked him why he still asked for pictures he said it was because if he stopped asking for them I'd get suspicious that he was in a relationship. I'm honestly just confused as to why he would go to that extent to hide his relationship from me, and should I tell his girlfriend about it and our history? She seems like a sweet girl, the TOTAL opposite of me but I'm not sure if I want to cause drama because I'm afraid it'll make me seem like a petty ex. She seems to know of my existence in his life, though I doubt she knows of our history.

TLDR: my fwb (ex) lied to me about his relationship multiple times and I don't know if I should tell his girlfriend about it or not.

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DplusLplusKplusM t1_j6jv092 wrote

If you and he didn't have any kind of agreement to be monogamous in this "situationship" then he's guilty of lying to you but not "cheating" on you. Whether he's "cheating" on this other woman depends entirely on the nature of their relationship. If they're not exclusive then him being with you isn't "cheating". But obviously if he's promised monogamy to her then he is "cheating" in also sleeping with you. This guy sounds like a pig, sorry. But no, don't tell his girlfriend. Just refuse to see him or talk to him anymore. In all likelihood she won't believe you anyway and then you've made this (seemingly duplicitous) man into an enemy. The potential for him doing some revenge seeking on you is too high to even bother with this. She'll figure it out eventually because people like this guy don't tend to change.

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MckittenMan t1_j6jvcvy wrote

Wow. That's a hot take...

>He said it was because if he stopped asking for them I'd get suspicious that he was in a relationship.

He lied because he wanted to keep you around as a side piece...

I think for everyone involved, its best you go your seperate ways completely. Its obvious he cannot maintain a reletionship and have you as a friend if he is trying to solicit nudes out of you.

And the gf finding out a close friend turned out to be a FWB, never boils over well.

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gordonf23 t1_j6jupyw wrote

Personally, I'd just stay out of it.

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