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Jumalauta73 t1_ja2bcnn wrote

Learn from your mistakes and get on with your life.

53

Orphylia t1_ja2bcsw wrote

This is probably me reading too much into this, but kinda weird the only thing you thought worth mentioning about this girl you supposedly started having feelings for again is that she's hot...

You should feel like an asshole. Because what I'm getting from this is that you were most likely emotionally cheating on your first girlfriend, since you broke up with her explicitly to date someone else. Idk, maybe I'm just overreacting or just not coming up with the right phrase for it, but I don't know what else to call it.

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NxPat t1_ja2bdzu wrote

Spare her the trauma of being around you.

2,044

Skyheart42 t1_ja2c2b9 wrote

To be brutally honest, it sounds to me like you haven't figured out what you even want in a partner yet.

Being single for awhile while also working on yourself and learning what you really desire is probably going to be one of the healthier things you can do long term.

Don't be afraid to be alone, be afraid of being stuck in a relationship with a person you end up not actually liking

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j4rj4r t1_ja2cniv wrote

You're too immature for anything serious. Move on - have fun for a few years until you're mature enough for a relationship

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Orphylia t1_ja2cw2w wrote

Replying to Rickk020 (#2,019,075)

I mean.

The only thing worth mentioning about the first girl was that she was hot, apparently. OP literally made a point of pointing out that this other girl is not as hot as the first girl without a single other mention of issues with the first girl or their relationship, but their attractiveness is apparently the one thing worth noting about either of them in OP's eyes, so Idk what else to assume other than it being some kind of emotional attachment to the other girl that drove him to break up with the first. Like I said, emotional cheating may very well not be the exact term, but in the moment I couldn't think of something that conveyed the issue better.

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linerva t1_ja2e58u wrote

You are too immature to date. Given the only think you things- worth mentioning about wither of these women is how hot you found them, you dint really deserve to date either.

If you broke up with hurl 1 to be with girl 2? She was not for you. If you loved or respected her at the time, then you would not have so easily run after another woman.

You fix this by leaving both women alone and working on yourself before you inflict yourself on the next woman. Treating people you date as if they are shoes that you are comparing or trying on for size is not ok.

You dumped girl 1 a year ago. She's probably long over you and us likely dating someone else. She certainly wont be happy with you knowing that you dumped her for another woman. Sorry but that's not the kind if thing a relationship can come back from.

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Dez2011 t1_ja2e85g wrote

You treated girl 1 really badly for a very shallow reason. "I'm dumping you right before Valentine's Day for another girl." You should feel like an ass because you were one. The fact that you don't see how hurt and pissed she'll be and think you can go right back and say "my bad" shows you haven't matured or thought about how your actions have consequences for others and yourself. Accept the consequences that you blew it and learn from that so you don't do it again.

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linerva t1_ja2eaf4 wrote

Replying to Rickk020 (#2,019,075)

He didn't just think about someone else. He indulged a crush on firm 2 to the point where he decided he had to date her. He was obsessed with her to the point he dumped girl 1 to explore and date girl 2. And clearly it was a stupid decision and they were incompatible since they broke up a week later.

That is not appropriate behaviour in a relationship.

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helath_is_depleting t1_ja2ev2m wrote

Fix it by growing up and stop being shallow. Sound like perhaps you're not ready for serious relationships yer

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eyeguess0422 t1_ja2f4i0 wrote

Go your own way man. Leave her alone. You fucked shit up once.

If you were really interested in Girl 1 you would have never entertained Girl 2

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douchelicker69 t1_ja2fc94 wrote

The best relationship advice I could give you is "the grass is greener where you water it". If you're looking over the fence all the time you will fuck up every relationship you're ever in and burn more girls like you already have.

For a lot of failed relationships the problem is not that you're with the wrong person but that one or both of you have stopped investing in each other.

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rayndance89 t1_ja2ffqj wrote

If what you're saying is true, and you do have 'feelings' for this person, perhaps stop thinking about your 'feelings' and stop and think about theirs? Would contacting her benefit her or you? And in what way? Are you telling yourself that by being back in her life, that you could somehow improve it? Seems a little pretentious if so.

Also, why is attractiveness mentioned here at all?

A year? Do you think interrupting whatever she has going on right now is right for her?

4

vinny876 t1_ja2frpu wrote

Sounds like they both dodged a bullet...

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Shinrahunter t1_ja2gndm wrote

Best out of it tbh. You've not mentioned any issues with girl 1 and you left her to be with girl 2, which means you didn't want to be with her.

You're probably looking back and only remembering the good things rather than why you wanted to leave her.

4

Goatbreath37 t1_ja2gs09 wrote

What's with all these karma farmy, copypasta tifus lately?

2

Accomplished_Age3639 t1_ja2jwnb wrote

He can try to get together with girl 1 if they both agree. He said he does acknowledge he made a mistake. There is a big chance he learned something from it. Don’t be to harsh with this person, it’s never only black or white.

−9

BuzzMaximus t1_ja2l6pd wrote

Of all the dickest moves you could make this was the dickest of dick moves, seriously you'll be lucky if girl 1 doesn't get all her male friends to take turns kicking you in the nads. Just leave girl 1 alone and grow up.

10

TFOLLT t1_ja2lxu7 wrote

You don't fix this. You made a mistake, and you have to accept and deal with the outcome of you ending all alone. If girl 1 has a little self-respect, she'll never take you back, and rightly so. And if you don't want to be an asshole, you'll spare her your arguments and your presence. An apology might be appreciated, but don't go ANY further than that, because any follow-up of 'I want to be with you again' will completely destroy your apology. But I think it's better to immediatly completely remove yourself from her life.

Move on. You're a young man; if you wanna be a real man start acting like it. Move on, improve yourself, and try again in a couple of years.

6

Cheese_B0t t1_ja2nsn4 wrote

You sound really immature. (not having a go, just, that's my perception of you rn)

There are more important things than looks, which fade.

Sounds like you got tempted away by something new and when that didn't work out (a whole week later) now you want your pretty girl back.

I hope she has already moved on.

You do not deserve a loving partner with this attitude toward women.

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odd_avokaydo t1_ja2p37g wrote

Yeah, you f'd up. She's moved onto someone with an actual personality. Leave her alone. Work on yourself.

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EngineeringForWhat t1_ja2tyaz wrote

Spare her man. Even if she got back with you, you already left once and for the worst reason possible. You decided you'd rather be with someone else which im sure made her feel less than. She'd always wonder when it'll happen again.

3

MrSpaceCool t1_ja2u21r wrote

OP you are so shallow focusing on people’s appearances. I’m glad for girl 1 dodging a bullet from you!

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jjonez18 t1_ja2z8z1 wrote

Dude, you're just horny. You don't have feelings.

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fredsam25 t1_ja2zia8 wrote

Don't listen to these other people. You are plenty mature. You deserve to be with the "hot" girl. Step one to getting her back is to make her jealous but also prove to her you've grown up. Date her brother, and it'll make you irresistible to her.

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l0u1s11 t1_ja31wri wrote

You can't. You left girl 1 for girl 2. Who says you won't leave girl 1 again for girl 3 or 4 or 5...

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someawfulbitch t1_ja34nlk wrote

You don't. You hold onto the bad feelings you have right now, realize that you earned them, learn from them, and move on, hopefully smarter. You don't deserve girl one or two. You probably don't deserve anyone right now. It sounds like you need time to figure your shit out, so that's what you should do.

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BreakingBad2014 t1_ja37qdd wrote

Now all of reddit knows you for the shallow asshole you are.

3

SweetPeaRiaing t1_ja389t3 wrote

Don’t reach out to here. This is a part of life- you fuck up, you move on, and you learn from that mistake. Just because the first girl was hot doesn’t mean it would work out, especially now that you dumped her for a frivolous reason. I doubt she would trust you again. Just date some other women and stop looking at “this girl is more or less attractive than that girl.” Women are human being, and dating is about finding someone to share life with. Look for someone who’ve values, lifestyle, and goal for the future is compatible to you and make sure you have at least one or two hobbies in common with them. Then treat them with respect. Attraction matters, but it is far from everything.

2

upsol7 t1_ja396yd wrote

"You get what you deserve." Does that ring a bell? 'You made your own bed...', '...you chose this path?'

3

dontlookback76 t1_ja39mlb wrote

Just leave her alone man. I know it's hard but you dumped her for someone else on the "love" holiday and are now coming back like she's a consolation prize. You may not think of it like that, and you probably don't intend it to be like that, but those are the optics.

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Jacqtjakaa t1_ja39xyb wrote

Move on you thought the grass was greener but it wasn't she dodged a bullet

2

limlwl t1_ja39zml wrote

She sure dodge a massive bullet. Good on her.

2

PralinePerfect8434 t1_ja3b9t3 wrote

and why is it important to mention how attractive girl 1/2 are? leave her alone please

3

StoopidDingus69 t1_ja3er24 wrote

Replying to Zenthils (#2,024,421)

Wow dude stop being a dick to this guy he’s obviously having a hard time. You really need to feel morally superior to someone that’s freaking out? Talking about being sensitive to people’s trauma while simultaneously being completely insensitive to someone’s trauma. That wheelchair joke you made was incredibly fucked up, be a better person

−29

redzaku0079 t1_ja3fu63 wrote

just don't contact her. you felt the need to break up with girl 1 for whatever reason. at that time, she was not worth your time. what makes her worth your time now? what has changed with you or her? what reason would she have to take you back? let's say she actually does take you back for some reason, what assurance does she have that you won't leave her again? even if in your head, you can provide a positive reason to all of these questions, she has absolutely no obligation to take you back. why take back someone who hurt her? nah dude. you need to move on.

3

mix_t_motion32 t1_ja3hd25 wrote

Here’s the issue. You didn’t fuck UP, you fucked DOWN.

The fact you admitted to splitting with the hottie for no reason to try and get with a duck. Like what?! Bro, I’m out here with no ladies and just ONE hottie is all a brotha is asking for.

Sounds like your curiosity is heavy coming into the dating world. Which is cool. Just stay single until you know you wanna do that ONE thing with that ONE person. Stop going out and emotionally and mentally damaging people. You aren’t any better than a rapist at that point.

−1

PollutionHoliday2235 t1_ja3ioj4 wrote

It sounds like you were cheating on girl 1 and you don't deserve to be with her. Leave that poor girl alone

3

linerva t1_ja3ob4p wrote

Replying to jjonez18 (#2,022,783)

But you don't understand. He's lonely and she's prettier than girm number 2!

/s

I agree. He's put no thought into her feelings. He simply doesn't have a right to approach her again after the stunt he pulled.

If a man broke up with me on valentines day to go fuck done other woman, he's be dead to me. And if he came back a tear later to ask to try again, I'd tell him to go fuck himself in the most explicit language.

He's probably the last man on earth that girl 1 wants to see again.

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linerva t1_ja3p0i4 wrote

Replying to Accomplished_Age3639 (#2,020,113)

He dumped her for another girl on valentine's day. 99% of people would want nothing to do with Him after that.

Sure, he realises he fucked up. But this isnt Hollywood. In real life, regretting that you were cruel or stupid doesnt magically make it OK or win you the girl. In real life? When you fuck up? You normally dont get to try again.

It's been a year. I guarantee she will almost certainly be either sewing slmeone else or wanting nothing to do with him.

1

phunkydroid t1_ja3px4l wrote

It would be a bad decision for her to get back with you after you dumped her for someone else. Spare her the drama of having to reject you.

1

itsjust_casssssssio t1_ja3q9ht wrote

Never speak to any woman that isn’t related to you in nonprofessional capacity ever again. No woman deserves this treatment. You’re an asshole.

1

commandrix t1_ja3qna0 wrote

I don't think the situation is recoverable, to be honest. You broke up with her on Valentine's Day specifically so you could date someone else, and now you want to get back with her now that the other relationship didn't work out. That's not a sign that you're ready for a long-term, stable relationship, let alone trying to rekindle things with an ex. Let it drop, learn your lesson, move on.

1

ryux999 t1_ja3u1sx wrote

im guessing you’re still in high school so I would follow everyones advice and avoid any girls

1

fiefthetrashpanda t1_ja3uz94 wrote

Leave the girl you broke up with alone. She should be a priority not an option and you are definitely treating her as an option.

You should feel lik te a$$hole, because in this situation you are the a$$hole.

1

dezie1224 t1_ja3xyir wrote

You don’t have feelings for your original girlfriend. You just want her again because now you have nobody - as you deserve. If girl #3 walked through the doors, you’d break up with your original girlfriend all over again. Grow up and leave her alone - she’s better off without an asshat like you in her life.

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StoopidDingus69 t1_ja3ztrw wrote

Replying to potsandpans28 (#2,027,391)

Head very far up their own ass its just comical the sense of self importance and moral grandiosity people have, preaching tolerance while literally making jokes to someone about their brother being in a wheel chair, and then I get downvoted for pointing it out 😅 come on ppl! Just imagine if you watched your brother get blown up and then he killed himself… would you be a balanced rational person??? Or maybe you’d be fucked up and need some empathy???

−5

Hexatorium t1_ja3zy8j wrote

If this was r/aita you’d be the biggest A-hole I’ve ever seen. Spare her the trouble and stay out of her life.

1

PiecesofJane t1_ja41qhm wrote

The fact that the only way you're comparing them is by how attractive they are speaks volumes. Leave girl 1 alone. She deserves much better.

Before you try dating ANYONE, work on becoming a better person. One who describes women by more than just their looks. What are YOU bringing to the table? Right now it doesn't sound like much.

1

4_Legged_Duck t1_ja43nlo wrote

> I broke up with a very attractive woman (girl 1) so I could be with a different less attractive woman.

You need to be single for a while. Watch a little less porn and just focus on yourself. Figure out how to mature, how to value a woman for who she is, not how she looks. (Yes, being attracted to someone is important in a relationship. But, you seem fixated on this.) If you contact Girl 1, she'll be mad at you. If she isn't mad and you date her, you'll be immature and break her heart. If you go find a different gf, you'll break her heart too.

You need to become less of an AH inside. You're likely confused on what "feelings" are. We can develop unhealthy, unrealistic, and problematic "attachments" that aren't the same as feelings. We can miss someone physically and sexually but it not be any deeper. Until you've come to learn what these are... you'll cause a lot of problems. People get love mixed up a lot.

And at the end of the day, the way most people learn is by being shitty for a while and then maturing. But the goal is to be as least shitty as you can be. And you wanna know the hardest truth I ever learned?

Once you screw it up, it's nearly impossible to screw it down. You can't put the toothpaste back in the bottle. So learn young and be kind.

1

moosigirl t1_ja46otb wrote

How flattering to have two broken down relationships boiled down to your partner's relative attractiveness...

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degenerate_pug t1_ja4cz59 wrote

Dude. You broke it off with 1 so you could be with 2. How much of a scumbag do you have to be to even think 1 would take you back? Point is, you shot yourself in the foot the moment you even entertained the thought of ending things with 1. God. How is it possible to have better insight on dating then somebody who dated 2 women, when I myself have never dated?

1

PromNyteDumpsterBby t1_ja4i4tr wrote

Replying to eyeguess0422 (#2,019,442)

Yeah, she's gone dude. All you're gonna do is get embarrassed if you try to get her back.

And don't break up with someone on a holiday unless they're a terrible person. If a bad enough thing happens to someone around a holiday, the holiday will trigger the memory forever. I'm not saying nobody deserves that, but yeah. Dick move.

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Arvidex t1_ja4klf0 wrote

You don’t. Give up and move on.

1

DameRedbush t1_ja4kr2k wrote

You sound like a piece of shit. Do them all a favor and don’t contact either of them.

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dewayneestes t1_ja4kt2v wrote

You’re an asshole who has learned a valuable lesson (I hope). You move on with your life a bit wiser. Leave both those girls alone as they’re clearly out of your league.

2

eelam_garek t1_ja4mhlx wrote

Broke up with a girl on valentines? Dude. Way to ruin the most romantic day of the year for her. Also the only defining quality you list is, "she's hot". I hope she avoids you like the plague - she'll be happier for it.

1

apextek t1_ja4nuyd wrote

grow the fuck up and stop being a selfish bitch. Playing with other people's feelings to get extra gratification for yourself shows you are selfish and don't care about the people you get into relationships with.

Might as well be straight up up front and say Im a serial cheater I'm only looking for hookups and have no ability to truly commit.

3

ForstalDave t1_ja4odmd wrote

Everything you wrote points at you just being an asshole. Girl 1 and 2 deserve better

4

apextek t1_ja4og95 wrote

Replying to PromNyteDumpsterBby (#2,032,943)

yeah karmas a bitch, I treated people like that, and then a bunch of people I cared about died on the important days of the year so I can constantly remorse about my bad decisions from spending my 20s being a shallow insensitive prick.

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NoSnoFlakes_- t1_ja4u4om wrote

Look…Valentines day has been taken over by corporate greed so any money you spend on Valentines day just goes straight into their pockets. If you’re not feeling it with someone, rip the bandaid off and find you someone your style. We all have preferences for a reason. ;)

1

IIIII_IIIII_IIIII t1_ja4uol8 wrote

Women are more than their looks. This post shows a lot about you. 🤣

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magikspl t1_ja4zb4n wrote

You can't be with anyone until you mature.

1

iamheathermariee t1_ja51efw wrote

Why do people wait for Valentine’s Day to break up with you? That’s the question I really want to know. I’ve been broken up with on Valentine’s Day twice in my life lol!

1

chamberofcoal t1_ja51xdi wrote

read the first sentence and realized you're a rotten piece of shit. nobody is going to tell you it's okay. wallow in your guilt, fucker.

1

Londonforce t1_ja53w40 wrote

You fix it by realizing you hurt people for no reason, and you mature to the level where you can watch your ex be happy because she's with a better man.

If it makes you feel any better, she has almost certainly found a better quality partner by now, or would be able to without much trouble when she wants, so her happiness of not being with you is virtually guaranteed.

1

dartron5000 t1_ja54bx1 wrote

If girl 1 has any self respect she doesn't want to hear from you ever again.

1

fr0z3nf1r3 t1_ja5585r wrote

You sound like you suck for multiple reasons lmfao just work on being less of a self centered douche and maybe girl 3 will come along and actually like you.

1

KayDashO t1_ja55kfn wrote

Breaking up with somebody on Valentine’s Day is just intentionally cruel. You had the day before it, or the day after, but you chose THE day. Leave her alone now.

2

Epcplayer t1_ja583ne wrote

> As a young man that is new into the dating category, HOW DO I FIX THIS? I feal like an absolute A$$ hole for what I did.

The thing you’re missing in this post (which is very telling by the way) is the reason why you broke up with Girl 1. As someone who’s also broken up with an attractive girl, I never had a “Fallback Plan” lined up…

I broke up with her because she didn’t want to spend time, when she did she was consistently late, the only time she consistently showed up was when my parents were visiting (to make it seem as though things were fine), she would make jokes about me in front of friends “as jokes”, she would find time to go out with friends but not with me, and she was telling people that I’d be looking for a new GF soon if I didn’t propose to her (despite the previous issues). I decided that it wasn’t worth the hassle, and that if she wanted to get back together, she would have to apologize and fix those issues…

Since I was dating a cute girl, many would approach me or message me and try to flirt. Some girls (not all) use this as a form of validation or attention seeking, and say that if she “can get” the guy with the cute girl, then she’s on par with that cute girl. I had the common sense not to take that bait, because I was all in on my current relationship.

If you didn’t have a long list of issues in the relationship, and you only wanted to “pad your count”, then yea you’re kinda the asshole. You need to recognize that and prevent it in the future.

1

Tuga_Lissabon t1_ja5931e wrote

OP, leaving her on Valentine's was a real dick move. You fucked up, and your current feelings are deserved karma.

I'll add how you made sure to add "less attractive", btw. The whole story did not need that qualifier.

What this makes me feel is you haven't found another girl at that level and are feeling it. Its attraction and regret, nothing more, and that girl is well rid of you.

Move on and try not to be as shitty next time.

1

muttmunchies t1_ja5kplw wrote

You fucked up. Take the L and move on and better yourself- you sound toxic and clueless.

1

kechones t1_ja62m3c wrote

Get over them both and leave them alone forever.

Find a hobby. Foster positive friendships. Read a book. Travel somewhere you’ve never been before. Just stop doing whatever this thing you’re doing right now is.

1

tropicsGold t1_ja6kl13 wrote

Wow what is up with all the hate?! The dude broke up with a girl, there is nothing wrong with that. What do you want him to do, do you think he should be forced to stay with her out of some crazy obligation? Now he has changed his mind, he can give it a shot. She may not be interested but maybe she will be.

3

Cejduffy t1_ja7bve5 wrote

Are you a child? Just don’t date until you’re at least 18 and can make actual decisions

1

intolerablefem t1_ja870rj wrote

You don’t. You leave her alone. You wanted to have your cake and eat it too. This blew up in your face spectacularly. Now deal with it. You aren’t owed a second chance just because you see the error in your ways. If you really liked girl 1 so much, you wouldn’t have allowed yourself to be easily distracted by girl two.

Also, seems like you only value women based on their attractiveness. Are you twelve? You don’t sound mature enough to be dating.

1

VolitileButterfly t1_ja88twu wrote

It’s been a year jackass, she’s moved on from dating childish man-boys like you and is probably dating the man you WANT to be someday. You’re shallow and immature and have WAAAAY too much growing up to do.

1