Submitted by WalterJamis t3_11a1qnq in tifu

I (23M) have a had a friend (22F) for a few months now. We went to high school together and were friends then. We weren't ever super close then, but we were friendly and hung out sometimes and did some school activities together. One of them was we were in the school play together. We never talked/saw each other after I graduated (she was the year below me).

A few months ago, I was looking through some high school stuff and saw her name in some stuff from the play. I thought it would be nice to see how she was doing. I messaged her on social media, and she said she had thought of me recently too and that we should meet up. After that, we started hanging out pretty frequently. She is an extremely good person. I enjoyed having her as a friend. I respect her a lot. Sometimes things got a little flirty between us, but I wasn't trying for anything like that. It would just be some jokes here and there, and it was not just one sided.

One day we watched a movie together at my place, and we started cuddling and getting really close physically. We didn't make out or kiss or anything though. After the movie ended, I got a call from another friend to go do something at his house. I asked if I could bring her along and if she wanted to. It was fine so I went into my room to grab my shoes. She wanted to see what my room looked like and when we walked in, pushed me onto my bed backwards and then straddled me for a moment. Nothing more happened at that moment.

We left and got to my other friend's house and hung out there for a while. After a bit, he wanted to go do something else. I was getting ready to leave with her when she again started straddling me on the chair. It was just us two in the living room of another house. She started kissing me and we participated in a lot of dirty talk. Things were very sexual. She let me touch her and she was extremely turned on. That ended soon, I wasn't trying for anything more.

She left and we continued sexting that night. She sent racy pictures and everything. She asked me to come over to her house during the sexting. I didn't go because I didn't have any condoms. We kept on talking for a little bit then a few days later I was more prepared she essentially booty called me. I lost my virginity that night to her. She also knew I was a virgin before this.

Afterwards, things stayed pretty flirty between us. We never hooked up again, but hints at it were made. She definitely wasn't against it, but she's extremely busy so it just never really happened again. One night we were just hanging out, and I asked if she would be okay if I could ask her out on an official date. She said she would be okay with that. So later we went on a date. It was super fun. we both get along great.

After the date, I just asked her what her intentions were and what she was looking for in general. I think it's important to be on the same page and make sure we're compatible. She said she wasn't really looking for a relationship at the time. I said okay, and we left it at that. I had started developing some feelings for her in this time.

I think this is where the FU is. I called her the next day and told her that I think I was beginning to get feelings. I didn't want anything from her, but I just knew that if we kept hanging out and going on dates that my feelings would only probably just keep growing. She said she also had another guy that she was seeing and that she would rather be with him, but she would think about things. That conversation ended with that.

I never really want to be someone's second choice and didn't like the situation that we were in. So, I sent a text saying that she should forget that I confessed any feelings we should just be friends instead and not go on any more dates or things like that. She responded saying okay. She also said she would be there for me. I explained that I had been in a situation where I was the second choice before, and it had hurt me. I just wanted to avoid that. She didn't respond to that text. After a day, I sent an apology for everything and explained that I hoped I hadn't ruined the friendship somehow and hoped we could really continue being just friends. She never responded to that text either.

It's been a few days since that text. I sent her some reels on instagram like we would do normally. She left them on seen. I think the friendship is over and now I'm sad because of it. I want to call her or something, but I feel like she would just avoid me. I don't know how she feels about any of it. I'd like to have a conversation and just keep going as friends. I don't want to lose this friendship. I don't know if there's anything I can do.

P.S. I also think it might be worth mentioning that I've literally been single since high school. I don't go on many dates and haven't been able to maintain a relationship longer than a few weeks. It's almost always been because the girls I go on dates with choose another guy instead of continuing with me. I have literally 0 experience navigating this kind of situation, so I didn't know what to do.

TL;DR I made a friend, and we ended up getting intimate after a while. We went on a date after that and a I told her I was beginning to get feelings. She said she had another guy, so I said to just be friends. She said okay and now won't respond to me.

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Dry-Individual2179 t1_j9pefgp wrote

To keep it a buck your always gonna catch feelings for the chick who takes your virginity lol. And I don’t really see your fuck up tbh. Seems like she was the aggressor and all you did was express how you felt. If she can’t handle that and just blatantly ignores you then honestly fuck her. My last bit of advice if this happens don’t fall for it. Eventually her and the other dude will end things and she will get lonely and probably hit you up to fulfill that void while she looks for another man. Protect your peace.

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WalterJamis OP t1_j9tpsyr wrote

Yeah I wasn't really expecting to catch feelings for this girl. I honestly wish we could go back in time a little bit. I would much much rather still be a virgin and have her as a friend than be in the situation we are in now. I think the fuckup was the whole experience of sharing my feelings, then explaining I don't want to be a second choice, then apologizing. about all of it. I think it was just way too much too fast. I was in an extremely confused state.

Thanks for the advice. I honestly don't care if she wants to date me or not now, I would just like to have her in my life somehow. She made it better.

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HockeyCookie t1_j9pmrk9 wrote

You didn't do anything wrong. You did exactly what you should have. You went from a situation that you both knew to something different. You needed more information, and the answer didn't totally fit the future you saw. That's okay. They are probably figuring out what they need out of the relationship. After a few days ask her to do something extremely platonic. We all need close friends. She will need you to be a friend. Give her another chance to be that amazing friend. She will always remember where you want things to go. Will it affect what you two have? Very likely, but I think it's something you have to push through to keep her as a friend.

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WalterJamis OP t1_j9tq8zc wrote

I just really hope we can be friends again. I perfectly understand that things might be a little awkward for a little bit. If things are a little different, I'm also okay. I'm just scared to reach out any more, even for something platonic. I really don't want to overwhelm her with anything.

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HockeyCookie t1_j9u9d3s wrote

Just a simple I miss you in a couple of weeks should go far

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t1gyk t1_j9pe7cx wrote

Honestly I don't think you could have handled the whole situation any better, and I don't really think you ruined anything. It's good that you set some boundaries for yourself and that your communication with her was very clear as far as your feelings for each other. I definitely think there is/was a version of this where you could still be friends, but she's just not ready for that yet and yes it sucks, but I think you already know it's much better to be around people that also want to be around you. She needs her space and you need yours, give it some some and maybe you rebuild that friendship, or maybe you find someone even more fun to be around ¯_(ツ)_/¯

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6138 t1_j9pst19 wrote

Hmm, she knew you were a virgin, and still slept with you knowing she was seeing another guy? In my opinion, and maybe I'm old fashioned, but that wasn't cool. Your first time is supposed to be special, she probably should have told you this was just a casual thing before anything happened. Not judging anyone, but that wasn't a kind thing for her to do. Your first time is a pretty big deal, and it sucks that it ended like this.

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Eldryanyyy t1_j9t295c wrote

Definitely a bit selfish to make a move on a virgin then reject a relationship. And I’m sure she knows that, which is why she’s ghosting.

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peithecelt t1_j9pdnif wrote

Give her some space, there was a lot of whiplash reading that couple of paragraphs, and she's likely feeling the same.. Even if she didn't want a relationship you went from friends/flirting/lovers/maybe dating/love/friends...

that's.. a complicated series of emotional changes, and not that there is anything wrong with it, but it's just been a few days, give her some space.. in a little bit, a week or two, send something neutral - the kind of thing you would have talked about prior to the flirting and hookup... You might get a better response then, or you might not, but... it's not time to worry about it until then.

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WalterJamis OP t1_j9tqwh6 wrote

Yeah I'm pretty confused about it all happening so fast. I really didn't like the feeling of confusion. I really wish this relationship hadn't gotten so messy. I definitely am going to give it some space. It's just hard to stop myself from thinking about it and beating myself up for driving her away, even if I didn't mean to.

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peithecelt t1_j9tranh wrote

NEITHER of you did anything wrong, other than talking before you got physical.

You had the conversation about what you were feeling, which was legitimate.. and she shared what she was thinking, which is also legitimate. No one did anything "wrong" - it's just how you both handle the situation going forward.

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Soda_BoBomb t1_j9snhsa wrote

Doesn't seem like a fuck up, kinda seems like a bullet dodged if I'm being perfectly honest.

I know you like this girl, but she slept with you, knowing you're a virgin while seeing another guy she supposedly would rather be with. There's only a few reasons this would happen, and none of them are good.

A. She's the type to cheat and she would've cheated on you too.

B. She likes this guy, but he doesn't like her and just considers her a fuck buddy, and she was using you for emotional support/stringing you along as a fall-back.

Neither situation is good for you. As another commenter said, be wary of her coming running back to you in a few months when her and this other guy split up. I'm not saying 100% don't get back with her, but just...think about it first.

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robidizzle t1_j9sslfz wrote

The only FU was your apology. You don’t need to apologize for having respect for yourself, being clear with your emotions/intentions, and setting boundaries. It helps to have an abundance mentality. If she starts ghosting you, that’s fine - plenty more fish in the see and love available for you. No need to dread / apologize, it comes off as clingy and not confident.

Good news is you’re not past the point of no return. Things didn’t work out timing wise. It might in the future. Focus on you and maybe you’ll reconnect again when the stars align. I personally wouldn’t initiate any contact for a good while. And then when it feels like history (maybe a couple years), you can respond to her stories if you feel like it and see if things might work out better then.

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HoffyMan01 t1_j9qhqxc wrote

I don’t think you really fucked up. Sounds like you’re just 18 or so and have never had a serious relationship. Give her some space. Good piece of advice- sometimes you don’t have to communicate every feeling you’re having lol. You probably scared her by filling her in on the ‘actually if I’m your second choice never mind’ part 🤣 be true to yourself, that was the smart move, but telling her probably made her feel like she hurt you

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Nitro_prime t1_j9s26c4 wrote

Hey welcome to the club, do you want me to grab you an iced coffee?

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just--so t1_j9syrn2 wrote

I can tell you exactly where you fucked up, and it wasn't where you think.

Directly after the two of you had a conversation where you agreed that the two of you should dial back on any feelings and just keep it cool and friendly, you sent her a message about your emotional baggage from a previous relationship where you had been someone's second choice, and how hurt your feelings were, and so on.

That is the moment where you should have given her space, or at least kept things light. You had both talked it out, come to an agreement like adults to be friendly. Once you do that, discussions of why you should/shouldn't be in a relationship with each other are moot. "I'll be here for you," means, "...in the future, as a friend," not, "literally immediately keep talking at me about why us dating/not dating would hurt your feelings."

You guys agreed to just be friends, but then immediately gave her a reason to think, "Oh, this guy might not be able to be chill about this after all."

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phan801 t1_j9ttzv3 wrote

Exactly my thoughts too! OP you need to dial it down and give her space if you are interested in trying to maintain a form of friendship. Let a couple of weeks pass and maybe send her a reel then if a friendship is something that you still want. If you're secretly hoping this will turn into something else it's probably better for both of you if you don't continue.

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kpatsart t1_j9t9bze wrote

It seems like she's in her experience phase. Are you guys in uni/college? I understand that phase, and unfortunately, I have been guilty of similar behavior also. It is a bit selfish for sure, and I felt pretty awful afterward.

I hope in time she understands what she kinda did to you.

This being said, lose the attitude of "girls i date, always have another guy" approach to life. It's self loathing, desperate and people can smell that shit on you from a mile away. Especially in the dating scene. Go into all dates with 0 expectations. The only thing you are promised on a date is an interaction with another person for a short period of time. Any assumptions or expectations met outside that are dumb. You can have intentions, and that's fine, but don't expect love, sex after a first date. Not that it's impossible, but expecting it is also dumb.

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ABbackintheday t1_j9skwl0 wrote

Be patient. You may be friends again. She may just want some time apart. Also, in my experience, women are more empathetic. She may be trying to avoid things getting weird.

There is nothing wrong with how you feel. Knowing yourself will take you places. Experiences like this are opportunities to learn.

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Livinginthemiddle t1_j9t5lja wrote

You didn’t do anything wrong. You were clear you didn’t want to be a second choice now she’s being a bit uncool ghosting you.

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Capable-Site-301 t1_j9tpsj9 wrote

Your FU was bringing your feelings into it after she told you she just wanted to be fuck buddies, and especially moreso that you kept messaging her and whining about the situation when she clearly wasn't being receptive. That tends to turn girls off, especially a girl like this who said she wasn't looking for a relationship. It makes you seem needy and insecure.

More to the point, it introduces drama that she was definitely not looking for. I guarantee you when you started whining about always being other girls' second choice, this girl was thinking "Uh oh, what have I gotten myself into?"

After she said she just wanted to be fuck buddies, you should have just said "I'm down." or something to that effect and left it at that. You said so yourself, you were having a great time with this girl, and you had the potential to get laid again. Why mess with that?

You need to learn when it's appropriate to express your true feelings and when to hold your tongue, not just when dealing with girls, but just in life in general. Hint: In most situations, less is almost always more.

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>haven't been able to maintain a relationship longer than a few weeks.

My guy, this is the reason why. Girls don't like overly-emotional, clingy, insecure, needy guys. You are a walking, talking turn-off machine. You need to learn to tone it down a bit and, for lack of better word, learn not to care so much.

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Heress_Johnny t1_j9u81ri wrote

I don't necessarily think the friendship is over. However, she clearly needs space. Honestly, you should also take it. It would be pretty bad for you mentally if you kept talking to your friend, considering your feelings about the situation are still fresh. I would try and focus on other things, go on some casual dates, hang out with friends, try some hobbies, etc. Maybe things will be repaired, maybe they won't.

Been in a similar situation and it sucks but as cliche as it sounds, give it time and it'll get better.

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Mikimao t1_j9tjz3e wrote

I don't think you did anything wrong, it's just kinda par for the course things like this will happen, move on.

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TheMartok t1_j9tmg54 wrote

Get back on that horse and start slinging dingaling

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Reignofdorkness t1_j9ujirj wrote

Expressing what u want and feel is not a fuck up. Tbh u should be proud for it. :)

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Patient-Quarter-1684 t1_j9s5hyt wrote

Damn, you really did.

You almost ignored the signs and after one date and one lay you then started to get too clingy.

Don't do that. Even if you are soulmates, getting too attached too soon isn't good.

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k_x_sp t1_j9svz6c wrote

I'm 36 and still struggle so much with this

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Eldryanyyy t1_j9t2h76 wrote

This ain’t one date, they’ve known each other for years.

It’s definitely not too clingy to want to be in a relationship with someone you know this well - that sounds pretty normal.

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just--so t1_j9th3wi wrote

>I (23M) have a had a friend (22F) for a few months now. We went to high school together and were friends then. We weren't ever super close then, but we were friendly and hung out sometimes and did some school activities together. One of them was we were in the school play together. We never talked/saw each other after I graduated (she was the year below me).

They're not exactly lifelong besties. They were friendly in high school, lost contact immediately after graduating, and reconnected a few months ago.

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Eldryanyyy t1_j9th85q wrote

When you’ve known each other for years, and been hanging out a few months, it’s not ‘one date and one lay’.

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