Steve_Austin_OSI t1_iwh528g wrote on November 15, 2022 at 4:36 PM

Apologize to your mom for losing your cool.

You are both wrong in that regard.

You are under her care. She says no vibrator, then no vibrator. So cut your loss. It's not like she is withholding insulin.

I say this, becasue I am old and can reflect on the bigger long term picture. Long term relationship is really important.

Now, I'm going to address a common fallacy committed by young people..

" and that i should be waiting until im 18 to do things like this knowing full well she was 15-16 when she was doing this. She also then told me that im not seeing the problem since im a child and walked away. "

Yes, she may have done that when she was 15-16, but she is an adult now and can reflect on her actions.
You are at the tip of your life, without much experience at all.
She maybe be a hypocrite, but that doesn't make her wrong.

My dad smoked, but always told me and my brothers not to smoke.
Was he being hypocrite? yes. Was he wrong? no.

If I found one in my daughters room, I would just talking about safe use, expectations.
Remind of the risk of a sexual active teen. Meain have sex with another person.

Then ask if she needs the pill and condoms.

I only mention is, because a lot of people think my post comes from being a prude, and it does not.

troubled_stranger OP t1_iwharim wrote on November 15, 2022 at 5:14 PM

Even if i did lose my cool, i dont feel i should apologize for it as stuck up as that sounds. I tried to start off calm and she immediately responded to it by yelling which caused me to lash out in turn.

Just because its her word doesnt mean i should or have to follow it. Yes, i know, shes a parent with more experience with me within this field but i dont see the problem with it since 1. Its helping me figure myself out and 2. Im not doing it with a person and a healthy way to let out these feelings.

Even though i do see what youre saying, i dont see any harm of having one nor is there any harm in it as far as i understand. She doesnt see any of the situation reasonably nor will she try to. She goes off of assumptions shes made in her head and only sticks with them whether theyre true or not.

You can explain this to me in more detail if it seems like im not getting it. All im seeing here is that she lashed out at me first because of her irrationability of the situation as a whole even when i tried to explain it to her which caused me to lash out as well. If that makes sense

ajm900 t1_iwic581 wrote on November 15, 2022 at 9:12 PM

Masturbating is not the same as stealing a police car, nor is it bad for your health like smoking. When you describe the way you would approach the situation, why would you approach it like that? It sounds like the approach of a parent who loves their child and respects their right to bodily autonomy, but the response OP got from her mum was to act as if it's an abhorrent act to be controlled and stopped. Could you imagine doing that to your child and making them feel that way?