TIFU by not calling my hit, and repeatedly getting shot in the head by a coworker

Submitted by throwawayyy138362 t3_zvpvtl in tifu

This happened a few days ago.

Went to a paintball arena with a few office co-workers to celebrate our year.

There was an introduction period where they gave us the gist of what to be doing, but I guess I missed some parts including the "call your hits" part, because I was thinking about the below average performance of some of my subordinates, and wondered if it was a good idea to even take them here.

I stayed in the corner the entire game, hunkering down behind a wooden pallet. I was with another person from engineering. Suddenly, some rat came up to our rear and started blasting the poor engineering fella, shot him in the head. He did something I now know to be "calling your hit" and walked off. However I was able to dip behind cover, head slightly exposed, with the dude still advancing on me.

One thing to note is that I was wearing my Amazon paintball mask, and it only covered the front and side of my head, not the top. So this dude who flanked us shot me once in the head, and it misses all my protection, and I scream "ah, you bastard!", in total agony.

I was terrified to move and thought if I maybe just stayed in the same spot, he would eventually forget about me. He yells something like "call your hit" and I had no idea what that means. He shoots me again, and I just stay still as a rock.

He keeps shooting me, I counted 49 times, one after the other. At some point, game referee comes over, the dude and ref have words, and the ref has the dude shoot me one more time. The ref then yanks my arm and pulls me out of the arena, ridiculing me for not calling my shots. I am crying and writhing in pain at that point, covered in red and yellow. It was a humiliating experience.

He hands me a little bag of frozen peas and tells me to man up. I go straight to my car because I don't want my workers to see me like the red and yellow crying mess I am.

When I got home, my wife laughed at me and said her boyfriend wouldn't have let that happen to him.

I have scheduled a meeting for next week and am going to fire the entire department unless they can tell me which rat did it. May post an update later.

TL:DR repeatedly got shot in the head by an unknown coworker because I didn't know you had to call your shots.

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philoslothr t1_j1qe8i0 wrote

The meta is strong in this one

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ArtemisFoul76 t1_j1qelk8 wrote

I was wondering if this would become a spinoff post and I'm not at all surprised that here we are.

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nacari0 t1_j1qfsph wrote

Idk if this is a joke but the coworker at the other end of the trigger made same post just from his pov

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GsTSaien t1_j1t95ta wrote

Yeah this is a joke, the wife's boyfriend made it super clear

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CrunchyAdventure t1_j1qdz1t wrote

You call them subordinates? And then it was you who performed poorly? How drole!

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deathandgorexo t1_j1rvsgh wrote

No one else gonna question the part where he wrote that his WIFE’S BOYFRIEND wouldn’t have let that happen? Anyone?

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cptspeirs t1_j1satgh wrote

I mean, my girlfriend has a husband. He and I are homies, sooooo.

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deathandgorexo t1_j1sbzz5 wrote

I mean if y’all are open and it makes you happy, more power to ya.

But in this situation I had other questions lol

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GoatedBelt t1_j1qhs24 wrote

I want to see a skit of this incident

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Illustrious_Lock5528 t1_j1sja1n wrote

Imagine being so petty that you would fire a WHOLE department over a simple instruction that you missed.

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Doe966 t1_j1qea73 wrote

It sounds like you were targeted. But it also sounds like you’re the asshole boss that deserved it.

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Nakazanie5 t1_j1qfmsk wrote

Lol this is a satirical post in response to a previous thread from an opposing perspective

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0TheSpeaker0 t1_j1thnrt wrote

Ah shit r/airsoftcirclejerk found r/tifu here we go. This is a fucking crazy mash up

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