You need to break up and then stop dating people. You are nowhere near ready to make good choices for yourself

You need to talk through all of this with a trusted friend.

His mother did not die and he never had any intention of going to Boston. He is a liar, he probably isn't in the military, and he may not even be a man. You need to stop.

I think the most sensible thing for you to do would be to return to the Netherlands.

Find someone to date that you know in person.

You need to truly accept the fact that it is none of your business.

Your brother's failures are not your business and not your problem. You parents' decision to coddle to him is not your problem and not your business. Your grandmother's choice t house him is not your problem and none of your business.

It is very important that you manage your relationship with your family in a realistic and proactive way. Your mother will want to talk about your brother. Don't engage. Your parents aren't that interest in you. That's OK. Be civil, keep visits brief, and possibly reduce the frequency.

OK so when you go to see her this weekend, just say: I'm going to see Sarah now. If he asks how you know her or what the relationship is just say that she is your girlfriend.

It is not necessarily stupid but I am trying to figure out what you need to tell him. Your concern leads me to believe that you think he will not want you to have a girlfriend, so the question really is: what does having a girlfriend mean at your age and stage.

If you are taking her on dates and having her over to visit, it should be quite obvious to him that you have a girlfriend. If that is not happening and you just see each other at school or something there may be no reason to say anything.

Can you explain more about your age, her age, how you know one another, and how often you see her?

Tell him what?

If this is the life that you want forever then there is no reason not to continue with him.

But can you articulate what it is about living with your parents and financing the lifestyle of a guy who won't work and didn't even get your some candy on Valentine's Day is so appealing that you want to sign up for 50 more years of it?

When I read that you are not bringing any more $ in from your cleaning business after doubling your staff I was going to push you on that point. Once I read the rest, it became clear that you are choosing to spend your life with an impulsive and irresponsible person who does not give two shits about you. In my experience, people who make the choices you are making will not listen to reason so I am not even going to try to convince you that you are being foolish.

Gotcha - it sounds like a good thing that you did not marry but I hope that, in the future, you will be very leery of any man who wants to call you his fiance without a ring and a specific wedding date.

Was there a wedding date? Is it in the past or in the future?

I'm curious about fiance written in quote. Do you have a wedding date?