> The real ending of Evangelion is the end of the TV series with the "congratulations" given to Shinji for him realizing he can grow and be better.

Yes. I know. But you seem to be missing the point that this ending is canonically what people all experienced (or something similar) in instrumentality. Shinji experiences that after 3rd impact is achieved and all humans are melted into LCL and experience instrumentality. Without instrumentality, Shinji NEVER could have made those conclusions on those own. He was too broken and couldn't have accepted his own worth or that not everyone will eventually hurt him without the divine help of instrumentality.