I know. I was expecting some cleverly devastating insult, like, “you parked like a twatbucket, you sod” but no. Instead, I kept circling the car, looking at old scratches and wondering, “what did you do? what did you do?”

It’s a relatively new, budget commuting car from 2021 that I’ve worked to keep nice inside and out, that just has (had 😔) dings on the back and on some hubcaps.