I used to commute from Columbia to College Park. You want to be as close to Rte 29 as possible because I95 and the beltway stink for commuting. When I commuted to College Park, I was near 100 and 29, which was fine, but I wish I had been closer to 29 and 32. The commute up 29 after the 32 merge gets real backed up, so it's nice to be able to get off there. There are lots of great communities along that stretch like Fulton, Kings Contrivance, River Hill, etc.

Also, hi, I'm a librarian too! Howard County has an excellent library system, and we're surrounded by other great library systems (Prince George's, Montgomery, and Baltimore counties), and I've taken advantage of some of their services, though I get most of what I need from Howard. My experience with using Howard's library services is mostly limited to adult resources and little kids classes, so I do not have experience with what you're looking for, but check their classes list. . Also, our Parks and Rec has amazing programming, and I think likely more what you're looking for. Check out a recent seasonal guide for sampling (they have it divided up by age ranges), and they are good about accommodations.

I'll also throw out that the job market for librarians is super competitive in this region, but there's also more job availability given the number of special libraries in/around DC. As a librarian I'm most familiar with special libraries in the region, but I'm an avid user of our public libraries and happy to answer questions.

I have one kid in a Howard County school, but can't speak to IEP treatment, though I've heard from others it can be a mixed bag. The schools here are great, but I grew up in another state and didn't see half the resources available here, so I always feel biased and get a little cranky when people start nit-picking between Howard schools.

Good luck on the upcoming move!