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rapkat55 t1_javt4sh wrote

Sounds good on paper.

In practice I am being a burden that no one really looks forward to dealing with and I need to be self aware and communicate that I’m aware of that in order to not seem needy/entitled and scare people away.

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DeathToBoredom t1_jaw1ooa wrote

Try it before you knock it. Life isn't what you make it out to be. For better or for worse, I've been surprised by different reactions and different results when I do something different from my own perspective.

The point is to take the first step in being a more positive person. Being positive can have positive effects on people. The next problem is keeping it.

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someoneinlife1 t1_jawbv30 wrote

This is totally random but I really needed to hear this. I don’t know why but I have two totally different perspectives on my life right now, and one’s completely negative and one’s completely positive, and it’s hard to tell which one’s true but it is all about perspective. And I keep trying to figure out which one to show to people whenever they ask me how I am, and it just depends on how I’m feeling that day. But I think I just need to focus on making the positive perspective a reality for myself, and then it won’t feel like I’m lying when I tell them positive things. Because really what good comes from telling them my life is screwed up. Anyway, even though you weren’t talking to me at all I appreciate it!

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DeathToBoredom t1_jawvz95 wrote

Thank you for your comment. Believe it or not, I make this comment not just for the one I'm replying to, but also myself and everyone who happens to see it. After all, this is a public board. What you told me is exactly how I see it too. And as to why it's for myself too, it's because I need to constantly remind myself of my past, my convictions, and apply them to my actions. I already understand everything that's positive about life for me, but I'm still fighting myself. I am a slave to my anger, to say the least. One's greatest enemy is themself.

Something similar is "fake it 'till you make it", and although that one doesn't really try to understand the positives, it gets one to take the first step and next steps without thinking about it. Maybe afterwards, they have a better idea.

Edit: PS you're a wonderful person

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adelie42 t1_jawjhsk wrote

No. Follow the advice.

If your behavior is challenging for other people, stop the behavior. If you want to acknowledge their kindness and patiejce, do so, but don't make it about you. Making it about you (thanks for being kind TO ME, thank you for your patience WITH ME, etc) is insulting. Just acknowledge the traits you appreciate, like it is who they are all the time.

Your word choice has me thinking you are referencing some mild ASD or severe ADHD. I'll let you know, little is more annoying than someone that is constantly apologizing for who they are and what they do. But don't take my word for it, ASK the people you care about. And when they do tell you it is one of the most annoying things ever, don't apologize, thank them for the honesty and move on. Don't turn it into a conversation.

See what happens.

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