I think I understand what the author is saying perfectly and can relate.

Escaping from my social insecurities by focusing on getting into the best school, getting my first job, getting the best job etc. was exactly what I think the author is describing.

But was it good or bad for me? Frankly I don’t have a definite answer. I very much enjoy where I stand financially, which just gives me this baseline level of happiness I couldn’t have achieved otherwise. I’m 34 and just starting to take leveling up my dating game seriously. Would I have been better off had I faced my fears and focused on relationships in my younger years like most normal people do? Very possibly so. But there is no point analyzing the past. Instead I’m really happy to acknowledge my escape strategies and to make a conscious decision to not escape anymore, trying to internalize a new mindset that the only way for me to really grow is to face and actively seek what makes me uncomfortable.