Life has just gone totally off course [story]

Submitted by xPenguinGx t3_zxqn25 in GetMotivated

I’m not sure if this is the right place to post this, but, for some context, a few months ago I was focused on university, going to the gym often and working part time. And now in the last month or so, I’ve kind of lost motivation, I no longer work that part time job as it was taking up too much time for uni work, but now I have no motivation for that, and I haven’t been to the gym since mid November. Most of my days, truthfully, involve me feeling like ass and drinking several pints, rinse and repeat. I don’t feel like I do anything at this point, and my whole life just feels like one big gray area currently. I’ve initially been out of the gym due to a shoulder injury, and while it’s still there, there’s other things in the gym I can do that aren’t shoulder work, yet I just have no motivation to go. I just chill in my room listening to music and drinking bottles of lager day in day out. So basically, some motivation or advice on how to get my life back on track would be much appreciated, thank you.

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Joimak t1_j21r7bx wrote

  1. Get some vitamin D everyday. Go outside everyday during “sun hours” for at least 20 min.

  2. Make sleep hygiene your number one priority. Keep your schedule.

  3. Keep a list of all the thing you need to to. Choose a few easy everyday, make it easy. Create a success spiral. Make plans with milestones for bigger tasks.

Remember that discipline triumphs motivation. Use motivation as a tool when u have it, but don’t rely on it. Have routines that keep you healthy and happy. Customize to your specific needs. When in a rut, always start small with low hanging fruit and create a success spiral. Then level up.

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xPenguinGx OP t1_j2485j7 wrote

Starting small and keeping discipline seems like a good place to start, thank you!

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[deleted] t1_j245xvt wrote

Environment trumps discipline AND motivation.

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shadowheart1 t1_j21sgl7 wrote

Look into your university's student health services. Most have some kind of counseling service to help steer you in a better direction - it is okay to need help to get back on your feet, but the sooner you can get that help the better off your situation will be.

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bbq62 t1_j21x888 wrote

Start stacking small wins. Forget about the recent streak of bad days. Even if that’s one task around the house, or a small fitness win to start. Gotta start building up momentum in the positive direction. The desire to do so is an important first step. Now don’t get hung up on the details about what exactly these small wins are - just start stacking them.

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xPenguinGx OP t1_j2488bt wrote

Forgetting about the recent streak and starting with small wins sounds achievable, thank you!

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rythmicnative81 t1_j25awip wrote

Small victories are key!! 5 minute increments does sound achievable. I've had severe depression after losing multiple family members. Many of the medications made me worse. Recently I had one that helped. I will say that I don't recommend long-term use of any kind of medication but for short-term in conjunction with some sort of counselor or talk therapy even the online stuff would be beneficial. Make sure you surround yourself with people that have your back and if you don't have those people then find an online Forum or find something that you love to do. The other good advice they gave you was vitamin D and sunshine it is completely invaluable. My other tip is I used to love to drink when I was depressed but I forced myself to drink one glass of water for every glass or pint that I would have. Obviously ideally you would stop completely but I understand that doesn't always happen especially not overnight like that person said small increments level up. And believe and know that things will get better and can get better. Also I've heard that high protein diet in the morning like eggs or whatever it is you like to eat can help your vegetarian I don't know rice and beans or whatever form of protein you like. Sleep schedule also very key. If you're really bad like I was and didn't even get out of bed to shower or anything as in I totally shut down didn't want to live, make yourself like five little things you have to do today like brush your teeth brush your hair wash your face eat something and wash the plate you didn't eat it and then consider that a total win for the day! I know it sounds crazy and ridiculous to have to go to that my new detail but that's how low I was so. I apologize if my Punctuation is not up to par I am using speak to type because I have a 5-year-old and I stay busy.

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cherrinetwork t1_j2685dh wrote

I allowed myself to find reasons not to go out and do things just live my life and have fun but day by day my mood grew darker and darker. It got to the point where it affected every area of my life, I signed up for a plan with Virtue map and it really helped me get a good understanding of the workings of my brain and how it connects to procrastination and anxiety. I got some good methods to begin to overcome my struggles.

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underpar515 t1_j23j3wg wrote

Try reading a book like ‘slight edge’. It will give you tools to start making everyday a little better and over time it adds up. Doesn’t have to be that book, but start reading a few pages of a self help book and you’ll inspire your subconscious. If not a reader- find a podcast. Start feeding your brain positive thoughts.

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[deleted] t1_j245uq8 wrote

I’ve been there before! I got back on track by starting in “5 minute days” — I go to the gym for 5 minutes, walk for 5 minutes, and do something fun for 5 minutes.

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OnyxRose31216 t1_j252984 wrote

Friend- please stop drinking! I'm not saying you can never drink again but you clearly have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol right now and it would be best to spend some time apart until you can develop some healthy boundaries around drinking.

Get some sun, every single day. If you're somewhere it's very cold right now, even a few minutes of being outside, no glasses on, in the morning with help you. Take a few deep breaths of fresh air, think about your goals for the day. They could be anything- today I want to do 2 assignments. Today I want to cook a meal at home. Today I want to fill out one job application. Today I want to have a conversation with someone. Today I want to clean the bathroom.

Speaking of, look at your environment. Is your living space trashed? Are you making your bed in the morning? Letting dishes pile up for days? When's the last time you vacuumed? Your environment is so important. Keep things clean and tidy, start organizing your space (plenty of inspiration for this out there if you don't know where to start,) make it look like the version of yourself you want to be lives there.

Beyond your environment, how are you caring for yourself? Are you getting dressed every day- in something other than sweatpants? Are you eating nourishing foods? Do you have any fulfilling hobbies and healthy relationships?

And finally, talk to someone. Whether that be a friend or family member who you respect and can trust, or someone at Health Services at your school, let someone know how you've been feeling. Life is not meant to be lived alone, the highs and lows are meant to be experienced in community. If you don't yet have one, find one. I know that's challenging but I promise it's possible.

You don't have to do everything all at once. But take a step. Then another. And another and another, keep going and don't look back. Do things that are good for you even and especially when you least feel like doing them. And before you know it'll you'll be in a totally new place.

Best of luck to you, OP.

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TheDarKnight311 t1_j232wfj wrote

Is there any men here on Reddit? I’m talking about actual strong men. Any mental giants? No?

Okay then I’ll give you some raw motivation my friend, you ready? Motivation is non existent. It’s not real. Don’t go to a damn psychiatrist and get put on something that’ll damage your chemical balance in your brain.
Drink pints all day? How old are you? Early 20’s? If you think it will change and eventually get easy, it doesn’t. You don’t wanna be 35 years old making your daily rounds at the pub and still feeling the same way you do right now. Mindset is everything dude. Get the fuck out of bed, and show up. Don’t cheat yourself. I understand we get depressed, I’ve been there before bro, but I realized that the only person who’s going to make me feel better is ME. The only person who is going to show up every time I need them is ME. The only person who is going love me the way I deserve to be loved is ME. The only person who won’t quit on me is… ME. Love yourself man.

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xPenguinGx OP t1_j248fpq wrote

Yeah I’ve been slacking myself recently, going to work to get myself back on track, thanks for the motivation!

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VerbJones t1_j258ugu wrote

For the record, I am 52. Was diagnosed with depression a few years ago. There is a difference between feeling down and depression. Depression is an illness, the same as any other physical ailment. Sure, you can fight it, and some win without help, but the majority don’t. Had it not been for lol the help I got, I would have killed myself last year.

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[deleted] t1_j2466nu wrote

Agreed! Reddit is generally teenagers and 20’s & 30’s somethings…

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VerbJones t1_j22iktc wrote

Talk to your doctor, if you have one. It could be many things, including depression. Best to seek professional help.

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buzzothefuzzo t1_j233qwp wrote

assumes op isn't in America, where doctors are unrealistic for normal people to see unless they are bleeding out or having an actual heart attack.

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[deleted] t1_j2468et wrote

I did that and it didn’t help. So what now?

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VerbJones t1_j257xga wrote

That sucks, but can’t say I am surprised. Doctors have such a hard time with mental health. If you think it might be depression (I am going through that now) ask for medication. I did. It got better, and now it’s not. Sadly it’s so much work for us patients. We have to fight. Doctors are overwhelmed, and they don’t know everything. Google your symptoms, go back to the doctor and demand help. If you have access to a therapist, go talk to one. That can be a game changer

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[deleted] t1_j259t8u wrote

I don’t have depression — Or any issues — any time I feel like labeling my feelings I realize I’m judging myself. I am quite literally, perfect. And after seeing so many doctors I realized all they did was blow my feelings out of proportion. Any time I feel like I’m sad I say, So what? And I move on. Life isn’t that serious and I realize that sadness is just a feeling and it means NOTHING.

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bignotion t1_j25gj8t wrote

Oh BS. It’s the depressive effect of boozing all day. Stop boozing and see if everything doesn’t magically clear up.

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Weak-Ad6907 t1_j22xqu1 wrote

Done please pay back 🙏

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