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Ok_Artist_3293 t1_j3qg3ks wrote

Disagree. If we have issues, we’re the ones who are supposed to work on them, not shut down the entire world and make people act differently.

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xask9 t1_j3qq6cx wrote

And how are we supposed to heal if someone keeps picking at the scab. The advice is to distance yourself not shutting down the world or demanding people act differently.

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Daloowee t1_j3rfbra wrote

Found the guy who disrespects boundaries

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[deleted] t1_j3ttqh9 wrote

If you can’t have reasonable normal person boundaries, that’s a you problem.

I’m not reinventing how I deal with the entire world just for you. And if you expect me to, you’re the problem. Not me.

It all depends on the nature of the “boundary”. If it’s “hey can you knock before you enter the bathroom, it’s kinda weird” that’s obviously a fairly normal request.

If it’s a “hey, I can’t stand it when people ask me about my day” or “hey, I’d prefer it if you didn’t wear the color blue around me” or “hey, I want to be able to choose every ounce of food that we consume when we’re together, forever”, those are pretty abnormal boundaries, and expecting everyone else to conform to them is pretty entitled behavior.

Basically, if you expect me to have to maintain a list of rules in my head for how I should behave that are solely applicable to you, you should get that checked out because you’re absolutely batshit crazy if you think that’s ok.

And before you start the tired old argument of “it’s easy, why not just do it”, it’s not easy to manage each person’s requirements. It’s easy for you because I have to do the work. And expecting everyone you interact with to have to adapt to you is a trash person’s perspective.

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simple-silence t1_j3rw9op wrote

Distancing from one person who is toxic is not the same as shutting the entire world down or asking people to act differently. In fact choosing to distance from someone is respecting the fact the people have the right to remain the same and that you have the right to leave.

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RigidPixel t1_j3roump wrote

I think there’s a very big difference, there’s asking the world to bend to you to protect you and that’s one thing. asking someone that repeatedly disrespects your boundaries and dismisses you entirely when you repeat these boundaries is another and they’re called assholes.

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thricetheory t1_j3rcavw wrote

So all wounds are just "issues" that we gotta suck it up and deal with? and if those closest to us don't show support/empathy/encouragement etc then I should just say "oh well" and keep spending energy on these people? hard disagree on that one

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