I second that you might have ADHD but dude how are you going to write this whole essay detailing every time you messed up an opportunity and end it with… “but I really feel like it was my parents fault”? I get that ADHD is a real thing (I’m a psychology major) and I get that it can make things difficult but you allowed things to snowball like this.

You need to start holding yourself accountable unless there is something you didn’t mention about your parents that really fucked you up in some way. Being a spoiled only child can for sure do some damage but come on guy, you’re in your thirties.

I’m sure I might get downvoted for this but I feel like you need a reality check and perhaps the worst thing your parents have done is not give you one. Take this from a woman in her 30’s that is the mother of an only child 12 year old boy. It has also been speculated by my therapist that I have ADHD but the diagnosis is expensive and I can’t get approved for testing through my insurance because Medicaid I guess. Still, I acknowledge that it might be a thing and I do the research and I see what I can do to accommodate my brain. It’s about taking something you have little control over and finding ways to work with it so that you can regain a sense of control to whatever capacity possible. A diagnosis is best used as a tool to figure out the best course of treatment, not as an excuse for everything wrong with your life (not that you did that here, just something to keep in mind if you are able to get diagnosed).

Please. Read your post a few times if you haven’t already and see how much you were responsible for your downfall. Also, see how much time you spend trying to justify why you messed up when you messed up or otherwise explaining away how you “kind of screwed that up”. Like no dude, you definitely screwed some stuff up along the way and that’s okay but you need to be real with yourself about the role you played in it. The thing about pushing all your mistakes off on other people or circumstances is that you take away your own sense of control and power over your life.

Stop giving other people so much power over your story. Like, why does it matter that your boss was into weird alien shit? You were there to do a job. Let bro go off on his alien shit and collect your paycheck. Stop spinning this narrative of “I had this and then I lost it because of this. I was doing this but then this got in the way” and just acknowledge that the past wasn’t ideal but now it’s time to pick yourself up and stop shooting yourself in the foot. It’s called accountability my dude.

Another thing I picked up on was this vague sense of entitlement. Like, I’m not saying you should take being treated like shit at a job but you also need to realize that entry level jobs are just that… entry level. You are highly disposable if you are doing a job that any odd guy off the street could do or would do. Think about it, how many college kids out there could dj and clean a gym? What do you even mean you were “undervalued”? Just do your job and get over yourself. Tough love there but sheesh.

Also on the job subject, stop expecting your job to not feel like a job and don’t go out there with the idea that you’re too good for the options you have. You have no trade skills on your resume and you’ve been unable to hold down a job for a year, you can’t be too choose-y. Somehow, you’ve even managed to make yourself feel like you’re too good for being a dj because they are so “narcissistic” even though this is probably not even a job that would be able to pay your bills. If you have the talent then maybe someday but self promotion takes a lot of work too and you should probably find something in the mean time. Get a job, and then figure out a career.

So yeah I didn’t plan on writing an essay but you asked what you needed to do so there is a run down.

Edit: I used the wrong “to”