Best piece of advice you will see here….

Redditors ARE NOT qualified psychologists. Their answers will only be projection of their own opinions and experience of life. 99% of the people commenting here will have NO IDEA about your life or what caused you to srrive at your destination. You need to go talk to a psychologist or your doctor. Somebody who actually has authority to speak to you on this matter. To find an answer for your problem, you have chosen to worst place on the net to ask about it. Think of it like this, do you think reddit attracts primarily idiots? Or primarily highly educated and intelligent people on average?