Oh this is a really great question and one with a few layers to it. If you haven't noticed from other answers I've given--I'm a bit verbose.

I often start working with people who are in this space from a place far from the "to kid or not to kid" perspective. Kids are not things or just another check box on the list of "how to adult." Which is often where I see the breakdown in understanding the childfree. But I digress.

When working through this question, we start with helping clients inside my Unapologetically Childfree Collective identify and prioritize their values. Meaning, what is important to you. Not simply "family, happiness, etc." Instead, getting deep into seeing where things like "adventure, simplicity, creativity, intellectual stimulation, kindness, caring, teaching, inner peace, friendships, etc." rank in your life.

In doing this, you'll have a better idea of "who you are" and what you really want in your life.

The next step is to identify and work through any of the things you believe about yourself, your life, the should/supposed to-s, that don't fit into the values you hold.

Third step is taking that information and create a "map" of how to not only create but also live the life you want on your terms. This may or may not include children. You won't know until you do a bit of self reflection.

When you do decide, the decision is full of confidence and joy that even on the hard days of being childfree (or a mother) you know you chose what what best for you at the time given ALL the information you had at that moment.