_Maggie_Dickens_ OP t1_iu4tntv wrote on October 28, 2022 at 3:38 PM

Reply to comment by Aggravating_Chip_781 in I’m Maggie Dickens a licensed counselor and childfree by choice. I specialize in helping other childfree womxn stop feeling isolated and start living a values driven confident life. by _Maggie_Dickens_

Oh my YES they do! And sometimes the questions aren't that nice or even meant to be a question more than a dig/judgement.

Like most things that are difficult, I tell my clients to start with the easy wins. Tell your pets, the furniture in your house, your dashboard. Feel what it is like to say it out loud. And when I say feel..I mean FEEL it. Feel your voice--is it shaking? Feel your belly--is it queasy? Feel your chest--is it tight? When these signs of fear and self doubt begin to dissipate then tell your friends who you KNOW will give you a high five not a lecture.

And build on that. Eventually telling people that you're unsure of -- this can be family/friends or the public. Depending on your situation one might be more easy navigate.

The most important thing to remember--YOU DON'T OWE ANYONE AN EXPLANATION. Many people believe we have to explain why we do what we do with our lives. This is fundamentally not true. NO IS A FULL SENTENCE. So is, "I am choosing not to have children." You don't have to say more.

_Maggie_Dickens_ OP t1_iu5pjx9 wrote on October 28, 2022 at 7:11 PM

I also wanted to come back to this and let you know I added my free scripts to my intro and these are really helpful in answering some of these questions where it is hard not to feel the need to keep explaining -- you can grab it free (in exchange for your email and you can unsubscribe anytime) here.

lostandgone4eva t1_iu5wkpw wrote on October 28, 2022 at 7:59 PM

Love this advice Maggie! We finally decided in the last couple of years it’s a No for us and we felt such a weight lift, even when we said it out loud to each other! And then this year I maybe got a little too drunk and told my dad and his response was “yeah, I’m not surprised.” 😂 Mothers and sisters-in-law are a different story, but we’ll get there.