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_Maggie_Dickens_ OP t1_iu522bh wrote

This question makes me so happy you're here! I'm going to answer in parts because my response has gotten a bit long already and I want ensure that my answers are providing clarity--which is hard when I get as verbose and impassioned as I often do with this topic!

  1. Q: Why do you lead with and specialize in child free?

To answer the first one--you can see a long and detailed answer I gave in another comment here.

  1. Q: Do you find that the challenges by people choosing (or chosen for) this lifestyle are that unique or require such special attention?

Some of this is answered already in the link I have above but I will elaborate a bit here as well. From both professional and personal experience, I would say the concerns within choosing and embracing this lifestyle isn't "unique" in its difficulty. I also am acutely aware it isn't nearly as difficult as other life choices or experiences that others may have.

However, it is a deviation from the general worldwide expectation of a womxn's role (in particular) in society. The uniqueness is in the privilege that more and more are afforded to make the choice versus caving to pressures or being forced to follow the "rules."

And in doing so, the expected judgement, criticism, isolation, and general lost feeling that comes from deviating from the norm becomes more prevalent. These are a few of the issues I work through with my clients as they navigate the "what's next" aspect of their lives.

Specifically because there is a common trope of the childfree womxn: work is her "child," dislikes children, has mountains of money, travels all the time, etc. This in itself becomes a pressure that many childfree don't subscribe to--to once again they don't "fit in" to a mold that people understand.

The above pressures are in addition to those from the other side of the continuum who view the choice as "selfish & immature." This side of the continuum also outwardly expresses the POV that childfree people are only "that way" because they "haven't met the right person yet."

What this leads to is struggling to find an identity. As I previously mentioned, I don't believe it is entirely unique. As lack of identity is often common in other populations (including mothers). What I see as unique is the path to address and work through finding a values based fulfilling life is different.

I am struggling to think of any research I have read where a culture isn't primarily grooming young girls to be mothers at some point. Which means that even in your case and millions of others, that is the exception.

For many, especially those raised in more conservative, religious, and/or smaller communities it takes a TON of courage to break the mold and be the "black sheep." Not only in that moment, but also because the questions, judgement, lack of understanding continues for years--Im 16 years in and still get "bingo'd" at least once a week.

Ok--whew, I'll post this one and answer more of your question in another comment.

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Few_Ground_8512 t1_iu65dn5 wrote

Great points, I'd be fascinated to see and read more of this in a book were you to publish one. I think it's a strong message reading how you view and phrase it that deserves more of a spotlight in our society.

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