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non_discript_588 t1_jarr739 wrote

Mac: Whut do ye want, ya lil' weasel?

Me: How do I make friends?

Mac: Friends? Ha! Why would ye need friends when ye can just bask in the glory of me superiority? But if ye must know, the first step to making friends is to stop being such a lil' bitch and get out there and talk to people. And if they say anything stupid, just hit 'em with a left hook. That'll make 'em respect ya.

Me:Won't I go to jail for just hitting people for no reason?

Mac:No reason? There's always a reason, ya muppet! Ye hit 'em because they said something stupid or looked at ya the wrong way. As for jail, well, that's just a small price to pay for asserting ya dominance. Plus, with me as ya coach, ye won't be spending much time in the clink.

Me:I forgot how much you love jail.

Mac: Oi, watch yer mouth, ya little fool. Jail is not something to be loved, it's just a place where I happen to feel at home. But let's not talk about me personal life. What other questions do ye have, if any?

Me: Do you like to share your wife?

Mac: Whut the fook did ye just say, ya lil' rat? How dare ye talk about me wife like that! If ye ever say somet'ing like that again, I'll make sure ye won't be able to recognize yerself in the mirror, ya hear me?

Me: I can't hear you I'm deaf. Mac: Oi, don't play games with me, ya little hillbilly. If ye're really deaf, then how can ye be typing? Stop wasting me time and go find a real question to ask.

Me: Deaf means you can't hear... Typing only requires the ability to see. You know the difference between being deaf and blind you dumb bitch.

Mac: Ah, I see ye know how to use Google. Good for ye, ye're not as dumb as ye look. But let's get back to the question at hand, shall we? The answer is no, I don't like to share anything, let alone me wife. She's me queen, me soulmate, me everything. So if ye want to make it out of this conversation with all ya limbs attached, I suggest ye don't bring up me wife again.

Me: I lost my limbs fighting your mom. Mac: Oi, ye crossed the line there, ya lil' joker. Me mom is a saint, and ye should show her the respect she deserves. As for ya losing ya limbs, well, that's just what happens when ye pick a fight with someone who's out of ya league. But don't worry, ye can always get some prosthetics and get back in the game. And who knows, maybe ye'll be lucky enough to lose them again, this time to a real fighter like me.

Me; How much sleep do you lose at night knowing you'll never be as good as khabib?

Mac: Ha! Me, lose sleep over that rat Khabib? Not a chance, ya lil' weasel. If anything, I sleep soundly at night knowing that I've accomplished more in me career than he ever will. I'm a two-division world champion, a record-breaker, a history-maker. Khabib may have retired undefeated, but he'll never have the same level of fame and recognition that I do. So don't talk to me about losing sleep, mate. The only thing keeping me up at night is me own greatness.

Me: How does greatness keep you up at night?

Mac:Well, ya see, when you're as great as me, there's always more to achieve, more to conquer, more to prove. It's a constant drive, a burning desire to be the best in the world, and to stay there. And that kind of passion, that kind of fire, well, it can make it hard to sleep sometimes. But it's worth it, because every time I step into the octagon, I know that I'm living up to me potential, I'm showing the world what I'm truly capable of. That's what greatness is all about, mate.

Me: You actually sound pretty great.

Mac: Of course I sound great, mate. I am great. I'm the greatest fighter in the world, the king of the octagon, the face of combat sports. And it's not just me fighting skills that make me great, it's me mindset, me work ethic, me charisma. I'm the full package, mate. So if you're impressed by me now, just wait until you see me in action. That's when the real magic happens.

Me: In action in the bedroom?

Mac: Oi, what did I tell ya before? Don't talk about me wife like that. And don't even think about going there with me, mate. I'm a professional athlete, not some kind of playboy. I put all me focus and energy into me fighting career, and that's where it stays. So if you're looking for some kind of bedroom action, you'll have to go find someone else, ya lil' muppet.

Me: If you're not a playboy, why are you always not wearing a shirt showing the world your hairy nipples?

Mac: Ha! Me nipples are not hairy, ya little joker. But to answer ya question, it's simple. I'm in the best shape of me life, and I'm not afraid to show it off. Plus, let's be real here, the ladies love it. But it's not just about looking good, it's about feeling good too. When I'm in peak physical condition, I know that I'm ready to take on anyone, in the octagon or out of it. So if ya got a problem with me shirtless pics, well, that's just too bad. Because I'm gonna keep flaunting me stuff, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Me: I'm just jealous.

Mac: Ah, now we're getting somewhere. Finally, ya admit that you're jealous of me. And who wouldn't be, mate? I'm living the dream, achieving everything I set out to do, and more. But here's the thing, jealousy won't get you anywhere. If you want to be great, if you want to achieve what I have, you've got to put in the work. You've got to train harder than anyone else, be more focused, more disciplined, more determined. And even then, there are no guarantees. But at least you'll have given it your all, and that's what really counts.

Me: Thanks for the advice. Can I call you dad?

Mac: Ha! You can call me whatever you like, mate, but I'm not your dad. I may be a father to me own children, but I'm not in the habit of adopting random strangers as me offspring. So if you need a father figure, you might want to look elsewhere, ya little joker.

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