Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

skay167 t1_iy8wq46 wrote

The Kings English

Anonymous

I take it you already know Of tough and bough and cough and dough? Others may stumble，but not you, On hiccough，thorough，slough and through.

Beware of heard，a dreadful word, That looks like beard but sounds like bird.

And dead: It is said like bed，not bead -- For goodness’ sake，do not call it deed!

Watch out for meat and great and threat… They rhyme with suite and straight and debt.

A moth is not the moth in mother, Nor both in bother，nor broth in brother.

And here is not a match for there, Nor dear and fear for bear and pear,

And then there’s dose and rose and lose -- Just look them up -- and goose and choose.

And cork and work and card and ward, And font and front and word and sword.

And do and go，then thwart and cart, Come，come，I’ve hardly made a start!

A dreadful language? Why，sakes alive! I’d learned to speak it when I was five.

And yet，to write it，the more I tried, I hadn’t learned it at fifty-five

248

nomak3 t1_iy8wu0a wrote

english is the easiest language of all the languages i know

14

oscarqian t1_iy8xqx1 wrote

Josh, where jack had had ’had,’ had had ’had had.’ ’Had had’ had had the teacher’s approval.

7

frankwhiteXVII t1_iy9g0dm wrote

Need a snack, think I’ll pare a pair of pears.

1

Alarmed_Bad4048 t1_iy9vkpp wrote

On the other hand paws, pause, pours and pores does my head in.

1

RookieJourneyman t1_iyanyce wrote

Read rhymes with lead, and read rhymes with lead. But read doesn't rhyme with read, and lead doesn't rhyme with lead.

7

Aldrakev t1_iyaw68z wrote

this too is one of two english jokes to make me laugh.

1

SupersuMC t1_iyb2ypl wrote

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

3

DudeManBroGuy42069 t1_iybjpqq wrote

Replying to skay167 (#769,852)

I’m too poor for gold, but have this my good man

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣶⡶⠦⠴⠶⠶⠶⠶⡶⠶⠦⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⢀⣤⠄⠀⠀⣶⢤⣄⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣄⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠢⠙⠻⣿⡿⠿⠿⠫⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⢀⣕⠦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠾⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⠟⢿⣆⠀⢠⡟⠉⠉⠊⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⡾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣾⣿⠃⠀⡀⠹⣧⣘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⢤⡀ ⠀⣿⡀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⣼⠃⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⠀⠀⠀⢰⣷ ⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⠈⠻⡟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⡼⠃⠀⢠⣿⠋⠉⠉⠛⠛⠋⠀⢀⢀⣿⡏ ⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⢠⣿⠇⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⣼⡿⠀ ⠀⠀⢻⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⢰⠃⠀⠀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢰⢧⣿⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠇⠀⠇⠀⠀⣼⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⢀⡟⣾⡟⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⣀⣠⠴⠚⠛⠶⣤⣀⠀⠀⢻⠀⢀⡾⣹⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠙⠊⠁⠀⢠⡆⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠓⠋⠀⠸⢣⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

43

ProbablyNotUnusual t1_iybudw9 wrote

Just remember... It's always I before E.

Except when you're planning a feisty heist on your weird beige neighbor.

4

crispilly OP t1_iybwyze wrote

Three witches watch three swatch watches. Which witch watches which swatch watch?

1

The-Bishop t1_iyc6lso wrote

The differently pronounced words despite orthographic similarities reminds me of Bernard Shaw's comment that "fish" could also legitimately be written as "ghoti" in English ...

(Cf. the respective entry in Wikipedia)

2

sauldobney t1_iycfw17 wrote

We read this yesterday, and it's time that we read it again.

1

PapaOoMaoMao t1_iycl47k wrote

I before E except when your run a feisty heist on your weird beige foreign neighbor Keith who received eight counterfeit sleighs from caffeinated weightlifters.

4

Mikesaidit36 t1_iydtoe3 wrote

Replying to melvinsylar7 (#796,640)

I have a friend named Jeff who is known in a handful of text threads for being able to come up with the perfect GIF response to any text within 30 seconds and so now we call him GIF

3

LadeeAlana t1_iye9huw wrote

If your assignment was to read this sentence out loud:

"I read a newspaper."

and that was all you had, just the one sentence, how could you possibly know if the verb was present tense or past tense? You could only get it right if your teacher was feeling generous that day.

1

LadeeAlana t1_iyeo1cm wrote

You say can't, and I say can't.

You say class, and I say class.

You say laugh, and I say laugh.

On paper, we're fine.

1