A rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer are in a car that breaks down in the countryside one evening.

Submitted by Kwen_Oellogg t3_1094qag in Jokes

They walk to a nearby farm and the farmer tells them it’s too late for a tow truck but he has only two extra beds and one of them will have to sleep in the barn. The Hindu says, “I’m humble, I’ll sleep in the barn.” But minutes later he returns and knocks on the door and says, “There is a cow in the barn. It’s against my beliefs to sleep in the same building as a cow.” So the rabbi says, “It’s okay, I’ll sleep in the barn.” But soon, he is back knocking on the door as well, saying, “There is a pig in the barn, and I cannot shelter in a building with a pig.” So the lawyer is forced to sleep in the barn. Shortly, there is another knock on the door and the farmer sighs and answers it. It’s the pig and the cow.

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JHugh4749 t1_j3w6r72 wrote

You would almost think that the pig and the cow would be okay with lawyers. After all, lawyers will get down and wallow in the muck and mud with the best/worst of them, and they are also full of bull shit.

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24KTaterTots t1_j3y1qlz wrote

If Reddit still gave out free awards I'd give you one

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Serpardum t1_j3zrpxc wrote

They do. It's called an updoot.

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mud_stacks t1_j40lah6 wrote

Yo, what's updoot?

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N4niner206 t1_j4117z3 wrote

Whenever you tap on the upvote arrow, you have to make a little “doot!” sound.

This is typically a different sound than you use for downvotes, which commonly sounds like “Errrrrr!”

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giraffebaconequation t1_j3zamig wrote

Reddit still does free awards. If you are on mobile, click your profile at the top right. Scroll down to Reddit coins and then open your free gift.

Edit: apparently they got rid of this feature very recently. My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.

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justadrtrdsrvvr t1_j40mimi wrote

It's not there

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MoonLightStorm001 t1_j3x2w2y wrote

I thought the joke was that the lawyer kicked them out of the barn forcefully

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could_use_a_snack t1_j3x481o wrote

This was an okay joke. But I'd like to hear the story that led to a rabbi, a hindu,. And a lawyer, driving in the countryside. That's got to be interesting.

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blue4029 t1_j3yidvp wrote

i dont know but i speculate that the lawyer was driving a mercedes

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pokey1984 t1_j3zblko wrote

Realistically, if they were headed for a funeral this combo isn't unlikely.

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could_use_a_snack t1_j3zjepv wrote

So? How does this story go?

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pokey1984 t1_j3zl1lv wrote

Muslim and Jewish faiths aren't far apart when you get into them. It's not uncommon for folks to transfer between the two. So a Jewish man dies and his Rabbi and his converted Muslim brother hitch a ride to the funeral with his estate lawyer.

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AnotherWarGamer t1_j40axeu wrote

A rabbi is ashamed of his lawyer, brother who does not practice his faith. All he does is work, and is obsessed with money. The rabbi decides that the best way to fix this is to bring him on a spiritual journey. Since the rabbi doesn't drive, he calls a taxi, and along come Piyush to pick them up. They drive for a few hours, finally leaving the city when the car breaks down...

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amgschnappi t1_j3wjugx wrote

Wtf Hindus can live with cows. They just cant eat any meat.

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payvavraishkuf t1_j3wlrnq wrote

And Jews can live with pigs, just not eat them.

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BIG_BROTHER_IS_BEANS t1_j3xswn0 wrote

My Jewish friend owns one. His name is Jeff. Some people think it’s strange.

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trip12481 t1_j3xyb95 wrote

Why do they think Jeff is strange?

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BIG_BROTHER_IS_BEANS t1_j3y7h2j wrote

Because it’s a devout Jewish family that owns him.

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BathroomCareful23 t1_j3ysxlb wrote

A Jewish family owns your friend Jeff?

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onairmastering t1_j3xtmar wrote

I knew this one with a Jehova Witness instead.

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frostyjhammer t1_j3zsc5u wrote

Thanks for the upgrade!

Gonna use this joke that way.

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onairmastering t1_j41bjmc wrote

Makes more sense since they talk your ear off!

The best lawyer joke is the "we tallied your billing hours" one (:

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frostyjhammer t1_j41mbru wrote

Indeed. I tell that one a lot. I’ve been saying “we added up” your hours but I’m gonna use “tallied” next time. Thus changing the joke from humor to humour.

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sagar-saiyan t1_j3y8756 wrote

Hindus don't have anything do to do not sleeping in the same room with a cow or any animal for that matter as long as its not a carnivore.

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lord_ne t1_j3zwf66 wrote

Same with Jews, no prohibition on sleeping in a room with any kind of animal

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Litmus44 t1_j3yvbmr wrote

Why are lawyers hated all over the world? Rhetorical question. Is there any country where they are well regarded and respected.

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TheoremaEgregium t1_j40ik68 wrote

They are very expensive, you normally only go near them when you're in trouble, and let's face it, in every court case there's a loser who thinks it's unfair and it's easy to blame your or the other person's lawyer for it.

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AnotherWarGamer t1_j40b2xa wrote

Loads of dudes get cleaned out after a divorce. Nothing will make you hate more than losing half your stuff.

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Adanar01 t1_j3xzv96 wrote

Completely misread this as a rabbit, a Hindu and a lawyer and was thoroughly confused for minute till I reread it.

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kk074 t1_j3yw9ie wrote

So now the rabbi and the Hindu cannot sleep in the house so they have to sleep in the barn and now the lawyer has TWO empty beds to sleep on in the house! Brilliant!

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Felix_likes_tofu t1_j403xds wrote

The cow and pig hand in a lawsuit complaining about a violation of accommodation regulations, safety at the workplace and harassment by their supervisor.

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coorgtealover t1_j3w7e38 wrote

The premise for this joke is wrong. The Hindu should have complained about the pig.

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guruji21 t1_j3z96o4 wrote

Muslims have issues with pigs, not Hindus

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LordTartarus t1_j4061mw wrote

No my friend, that's Islam and Judaism. But in the Hindu's case it wouldn't be an issue to sleep with a cow - they'd probably consider it a honour if they're devout

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