Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

sarahjd82 t1_je2ddfo wrote

The best explanation for grief I've ever seen was the ball in a box metaphor. Basically, when you lose someone it's like you've been given a box with a button on one of the walls. In that box is a grief ball. At first the ball almost fills the entire box, so it constantly pushes the button. With time the ball shrinks but it's still huts the button from time to time, often unexpectedly.

Grief is unpredictable and hard.

22

NateCow t1_je2f71i wrote

As soon as I read "The best explanation for grief," I figured you were going to go into the ball in the box. Spot fucking on. I lost one of my best friends and then my girlfriend with 16 months of each other, both while I was living across the country for work. That metaphor really helped me through the random waves of grief.

A friend of mine lost his wife (of just under 3 years) last year. The thing I told him is that it doesn't get "easier." You just get used to it. You're suddenly thrust into a new phase of life without that person, and you'll eventually grow accustomed to this new reality.

EDIT: Rephrasing.

7

KeeperofAmmut7 t1_je33c24 wrote

>The thing I told him is that it doesn't get "easier." You just get used to it.

Deffo. I feel guilty that I was relieved that I didn't hafta wait up until he decided to come to be, because I hadta walk behind him and help him up the stairs because his knee would go out. Too many times he started to fall and I got body slammed into the front door, or had to move his feet closer onto the step so he could get balance.

1