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NotFitToBeAParent t1_jcz4t6b wrote

I went through the Foster Care system a few years ago with my wife when we were deciding to be parents.

At least where I am, the Foster Care program is one of the most corrupt things I've ever been involved with. They claim to be there for the kids, but EVERYTHING they do is to secure their funding FIRST.

The 9mo old they placed with us got removed from our loving, providing home in favor of her drugged out mother 2 months after placement. I've never felt like such a failure of a human being as when i was dropping that angel off on her drugged out parents' doorstep.

Terrible experiences. While I understand none of this is the children's fault and they still need help and loving homes, the system is broken and irreparable IMO. Burn it down and start over.

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mutilatedlama OP t1_jcz5ygo wrote

To me, this means the pa=ends didn't get the support they need. It is very easy to look at someone choosing drugs over their child and give no real thought to what drove them there.

So many kids in the system are second and even 3rd generation foster kids. There do need to be major changes made, but those major changes start somewhere small - like mowing a yard and donating clothes

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Prestigious_Ebb_5994 t1_jd0cdie wrote

Well said! I think it’s hard to have empathy sometimes but so necessary. People don’t choose to suffer or struggle in life, addiction is a disease. Of course it will still impact the child negatively and that is horrible but this is a structural problem in our world truly

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GenXChefVeg t1_jczm9nw wrote

Big hugs to you both. We turned down any placements that did not have parental rights already terminated and STILL ended up being at risk of losing our child (who we intended to adopt from Day One) a year into fostering. It was incredibly stressful.

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NotFitToBeAParent t1_jd01p0u wrote

Adoption was our goal as well. We've since become Auntie and FUNcle, are are happy with that.

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