Sometimes, there are things you can't change in your life. Like you just have to learn to forget to try and control them. Forget about things you can't control. Now, you are 26. How many things in your life are really out of your control? Write them down on a paper, and meditate on those things. If you have anger and disappointment deep inside of you, you can drink, distract yourself and do a lot of other things to try and forget it. But paying back your family is what will really solve your problems. Or helping someone else, if you can't help your family. These other things you do will help you overcome the disappointment. And never run away from whatever you are facing. Stand still and observe the things. If you are helpless, and you realise you are helpless, it's better than being helpless and unaware. You are aware that your life is going nowhere. That's a step forward. All you have to do now is to change things. Or "become the man" of your life. Sometimes a small twist is enough, sometimes, a large one. It could do you good, or bad, help you move forward or backward, but as long as there is development, there will be learning. And that my friend is this drunken man's wisdom. Your mind is being beaten down so that when it's time it can go to mother fucking warrrr! Yeahaahhaah baby!