I play squash once a fortnight with a guy and afterwards we have a beer and play pool for an hour. He's recently suggested we do other stuff and I just don't want to. There's never any conversation about anything other than squash or pool. These things are all we have in common! (He suggested an escape room, which I turned down flat because I don't like them, but he's just called me on the phone to suggest a murder mystery weekend with our respective girlfriends. I said I'd ask her, to buy myself some time.)

Comments

WEugeneSmith t1_iucsc0n wrote on October 30, 2022 at 10:27 AM

This is a hard one. You can simply say, "M schedule is really busy, but I am usually (or always, if this is the truth) open for squash and pool"

It is up to you to set boundaries. Eventually, he will accept them.

prophylaxitive OP t1_iucss2g wrote on October 30, 2022 at 10:33 AM

Thank you.

Scary_School_202 t1_iucviuz wrote on October 30, 2022 at 11:10 AM

You can simply say the truth that when it comes to your time and energy for hanging out with other people all you want to do is squash and pool. Tell him you like the way things are...that it is comfortable and dependable and you don’t feel nice about changing it up. I think honesty is far more respectful than lying to him to spare his feelings.

prophylaxitive OP t1_iucxow4 wrote on October 30, 2022 at 11:37 AM

Thank you.

Deathboy17 t1_iucqz94 wrote on October 30, 2022 at 10:08 AM

My general excuse is lack of money/time.

If not, its because Im busy with other plans or commitments.

[deleted] t1_iucs9rq wrote on October 30, 2022 at 10:26 AM

[deleted]

prophylaxitive OP t1_iucsujl wrote on October 30, 2022 at 10:34 AM

Thank you.

keepthetips t1_iucqvym wrote on October 30, 2022 at 10:07 AM

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Frost_Butt t1_iudwg0r wrote on October 30, 2022 at 4:22 PM

You’re an adult (I assume).... so act like one.

“Hey I really enjoyed our time out the other night but I don’t feel we really have much in common and I don’t really like _____”

prophylaxitive OP t1_iuecnwd wrote on October 30, 2022 at 6:10 PM

As an adult, I feel making the kind of remark you suggest would, at best, make our squash and pool nights - which I enjoy - awkward and, at worst, jeopardise them altogether, whilst potentially hurting his feelings which I very much want to avoid. Thanks for your input, though.

Vortamock t1_iued3v2 wrote on October 30, 2022 at 6:12 PM

You can tell him straight up without being mean. Just be like "hey bud, no offense but I don't really want to hang out with you."

prophylaxitive OP t1_iufbyhm wrote on October 30, 2022 at 10:04 PM

Yeah, but, the thing is, I already kinda do, twice a month 🤔

slave2GROOV t1_iuflzr1 wrote on October 30, 2022 at 11:16 PM

Be honest. You never have to remember the truth