Submitted by blackberrywheatfox t3_zz8o2w in LifeProTips

I (21) have been working in a job in my field of study and make a good amount of money from it (my first job in my field of study). I have been working there for about 6 months now (first few months I was not there as much due to other commitments). I have built relationships with 4 senior staff members who have been working at the establishment for years. In fact, we talk very deeply about our personal lives and such. I find that pretty much all staff hates the management team and we all collectively talk shit about them to be quite honest. However, said senior staff members also talk shit about some new staff members (I also join in as well, due to some past issues we’ve had with other staff members). But I’m starting to realize that said 4 staff members have been already friends for years and as much as I may consider myself an acquaintance to these people, at the end of the day, they are all much closer to one another than I maybe ever will be. To be honest, I just want to build more boundaries in a sense where I want to stick to strictly work. This is because I find I’m getting caught up in the “gossip” side rather than working, learning, communicating with clients and just getting tasks done. I want to build that wall up where I am obviously not rude or dismissive, but also focusing on my work. Any advice?

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Comments

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NoDebtHaHa t1_j2a456s wrote

Stop talking shit to people about other people behind their back. If you talk shit about someone behind their back EVERYONE knows you will talk shit about them behind their back. That is a terrible way to start a career.

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CTDKZOO t1_j2assck wrote

Be a good listener and stop sharing. Most people who gossip want to be heard so not only will they not notice you scaling back, they'll like you more for listening and letting them tell their tales.

Note: Listening is different than encouraging.

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jealousrock t1_j2akd04 wrote

Simply do focus on your work. Spend less time gossiping. They likely will not even notice.

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_________FU_________ t1_j2bhoup wrote

If they ask you a question during a gossip session act like you haven’t been paying attention. Or just leave the room when it starts. You can easily excuse yourself.

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keepthetips t1_j2a3673 wrote

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

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crzy19aka t1_j2f75eh wrote

Stay just as friendly but stop talking about others, definitely listen to their non gossip as time permits, share a short nugget about your weekend or plans once in a while, and then stop yourself mid sentence with an exclamation that you forgot a time sensitive task, ttyl

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