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dpdxguy t1_j1aemyw wrote

Reply to comment by fishling in LPT: Don't spy on your SO to try to catch them cheating. If you can't trust them, just break up. by 5YOChemist

Interesting take on OP's post. I took it to mean OP had been cheated on, was suspicious and spied to confirm their suspicions. Afterward they realized that the relationship was irrevocably broken at the point where they were suspicious. Suspicion, not confirmation, was the signal that they no longer trusted their partner.

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fishling t1_j1aiapy wrote

I thought that on my initial read as well, but when I noticed the gap and read some of their other replies, I saw the original post differently.

It's possible to have "suspicions" without losing trust, and for those suspicions to have reasonable and true explanations due to miscommunications and differences in perception. Advising people to break up because of suspicions alone is terrible advice. Note that there is a lot of ambiguity here in how we all interpret "suspicions" as well, which means not everyone is necessarily talking about the same sort of thing.

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dpdxguy t1_j1bq3v6 wrote

>It's possible to have "suspicions" without losing trust

Absolutely. But if your suspicions are leading you to investigate instead of ask, you've probably lost trust already.

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fishling t1_j1bqudp wrote

That was my issue with OP's post: didn't suggest talking or anything, just skip that and go for breakup instead of investigate as the only alternatives.

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