im here because of a sickness in my soul from dealing with the world for far too long alone, and i tried to cure that with many things... doesnt matter what the symptoms are is what i'm saying, the core problem was that i was alone without purpose or direction and hurting in a way that most people cant even begin to understand. id maybe just go to an open meeting and talk with people, open meetings are for everyone, not just addicts, and a damn good way to network and find good people who know exactly what NOT to do lol. maybe someone there could point you in the right direction?