Sorry my man. That is horrible. And you should be a little shook up. You can't blame yourself either. My family and I seemed to have a curse of unexpected goodbyes. And one of the things that has made me feel better about those, is knowing that you loved that creature an awful lot, and compared to most dogs worldwide, yours got to live the dream with you. And I've always found solice in that when our pets depart they don't have regrets or dashed dreams. Most animals die giving back to the circle of life, but yours was lucky enough to have a human. A human that truly loved his companion, and will remember him for the rest of his human life. This is more than any dog has ever asked for. But I'm sure if he could talk, he would want you to celebrate the good times and not depress yourself on his absence. Much love your way man!