My teachers always told me to go work in the world instead of doing a Ph.D.--their advice made me choose not to do a Ph.D. I still attended grad school for another degree--not ML-related, and I think learning on the job is much more effective and a better way to support yourself. You want an apprenticeship of sorts, a relationship with someone who is already building and maintaining systems. Seek spiritual insight and decide what you want in your life.