Wouldn't hurt if the average paper were written more engagingly than it is now.

Not like

> "This mind-numbing discovery broke the university intranet and gave our Doc Brown lookalike professor a heart attack!",

but something better than

> "The quasi-entropic property of a Clifford algebraic structure has been determined by [7] to induce permutations upon information-theoretic monoidal categories, which are commonly known to be derived from the generalized relaxation of the Curry-Howard-Lambek formulation (Equation 112358) under Noetherian ideal invariance [41], as shown in Figure (lol jk only unsophisticated normies doth require the non-abstract nonsense known outside of Shakespearean tragedies as a figure), and therefore, this provides support for the main result of our paper: that the successor of the Mesopotamian invention 1 = succ(0) in summation with itself is equal to the successor of the successor of the aforementioned invention, which is widely believed to be the first and only even prime, and additionally happens to be a popular choice of base for logarithms in information theory, and furthermore provides a fundamental basis for classical logic which is based on the concept of truth and falsehood, ergo a number of logical states which can be described as the least number of branches under which bifurcation occurs [17,29,31-91]."

> (Dr. Obvious et al. "1 + 1 is usually 2." vixra [eprint]. 2011.)