Sleep-system t1_jdgv9sa wrote
You wish. It just leads to more uneducated, undisciplined and immature adults who have children of their own, raise them irresponsibly and continue the cycle.
The person who wrote this has probably never actually been around highly dysfunctional families because this take is idiotic.
Hardcorish OP t1_jdhup7n wrote
Sorry you feel that way. Perhaps your experience isn't the same that others have had? Have you considered this? You're right there are plenty of examples where this cycle continues, but there are just as many where the children had to grow up fast to take care of their siblings etc.
This thread has comments providing examples of both.
Sleep-system t1_jdi65pa wrote
I worked at a non-profit for homeless and drug addicted mothers for several years in the Bay Area. My mom is a social worker. I can promise you that for every one kid who "grows up fast" to take care of their siblings there are 50 who can barely take care of themselves let alone their siblings, are malnourished, extremely angry, extremely violent, having no coping skills, can't read, can't do basic math, can't focus, etc.
And those kids who "grew up too fast" are far from adults. They are children with cobbled together survival skills and often a deep distrust for adults. If they don't seek help they'll usually carry that distrust and trauma into adulthood, and guess what? They don't look anything like the plucky little kid who rose above the odds because putting on a strong face all those years while being emotionally deprived and abused profoundly damaged them psychologically.
I shouldn't have called you an idiot since I don't know whether or not you intended to suggest there was some silver lining or anything beneficial in kids acting like adults. But if you actually interact with them, they don't act much like adults. They act like kids who've had to adjust and survive, manage basic functions like preparing meals or changing diapers, and spend the rest of their time fortifying their fragile mental state. They're nothing like any adult you'd ever want to see.
Hardcorish OP t1_jdi74xn wrote
>They act like kids who have to adjust and survive, manage
>
>basic functions like preparing meals or changing diapers
Certainly, and this is what I had in mind with this showerthought. I wasn't trying to portray the children as doing actual adult things like getting a job or paying taxes, etc.
Sleep-system t1_jdi8dgg wrote
Yeah, that isn't acting like an adult. Plenty of kids do things like that all the time in a healthy context.
The "adult" part in your scenario, and what is in fact abuse, is that the kids you're talking about have no choice.
Hardcorish OP t1_jdibkfg wrote
>Yeah, that isn't acting like an adult. Plenty of kids do things like that all the time in a healthy context.
The parents are offloading their adult responsibilities onto their children. We can do semantics all day long but neither one of us is wrong here.
Sleep-system t1_jdic1wu wrote
No, you're wrong, but it's only because you're ignorant about the reality of what you're talking about. Anyway, have a good one.
Hardcorish OP t1_jdiesqh wrote
Again, arguing over semantics. I've no time for this. Open your eyes, have a scroll through this thread and you'll see that we're both right. Have a good one as well.
Beepboop_Addition t1_jdhi766 wrote
Idiotic doesn't mean it doesn't occur.
Maybe for a majority. Many people in that scenario would lead to staying in their comfort zones. Then there are others that learn from others mistakes.
Accomplished-Bet1305 t1_jdgywfz wrote
I agree with you. The person that wrote this doesn’t understand that what they’re saying doesn’t equate because children don’t know how to be adults….. However, that doesn’t mean that children can’t learn to be responsible from the outcome of a child parent. But still I agree with you
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