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somuchstrange t1_j8n4ir5 wrote

Reply to comment by tossme68 in Strangers Befriend Man with Down Syndrome After Mom Offers to Pay Someone to Spend Time with Him: 'Heaven' by afterburners_engaged

Where would one go to ask for help? In my experience the internet makes fun or ignores it. I just made it through winter without turning my heat on because I have no income thanks to long covid. I don't want money, just friends and people to talk to. I don't recommend not turning on the heat or having almost no one to talk to for three years. My now ex boyfriend thought it wasn't fair that his girlfriend was so sick so he ghosted me after five years. I've got some stories to tell lol! He still hasn't told me anything and it's been a year since he apparently moved out. I still live with his stuff, but I won't be selling his expensive fish stuff. I love that fish get wiggle-butt when it's feeding time 😆 it's adorable!

But really, with no money, where would one go to make friends and not be lonely? I know the mother in the article used money, but if someone doesn't have any family or an income because bootstraps (I'm in the U.S.) how does this get fixed? Maybe it would be easier outside of St Louis? Or the Midwest? Neither are options for me but can someone post a flyer in a supermarket and not get creeps/creepy responses? 😅

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Great_Hamster t1_j8n8irm wrote

I think the son having downs or something helped this work without leaving the house. Are you able to get out?

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somuchstrange t1_j8nhu9s wrote

Get out...side? Sometimes. I would be more comfortable if someone could take walks with me because I'm quite sick and if I need help getting back home I don't have to hold back tears from the pain and drag myself home. Being sick is exhausting. I've also lost a lot of weight and I don't have much I can wear that will stay on me. My friend bought me some leggings that fit, but I don't like the look of leggings so I'm really uncomfortable leaving the house in them. I finally asked my ex a week ago if he had any jeans etc that are too small so I have one pair of jeans that stay up now, but I think the zipper falls down so I have to remember to check that lol. We still say very few words to each other. I also don't recommend skipping meals whether sick or not. Some people have no choice, though

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bubbleyum92 t1_j8n8djz wrote

I don't have any answers for you but I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time! No heat in a MO winter? Yikes! I lived in NW Arkansas for 26 years, those winters can be brutal. I'm glad you made it, though. I'm not sure if it's easier outside of the Midwest. I moved 4 years ago to the PNW and I like it better but I have no friends, just my sister and bf and live with parents. 4 years being unemployed and hardly ever leaving the house due to fear of covid...it gets depressing sometimes for sure! I feel like there could be more opportunities to make friends here just bc I grew up in a small town and when there's nothing to do, how do you meet people you know? But it's been 4 years and I still don't have any new friends so...I sometimes think I stick out as obviously not being from this area and that can make it harder to connect, almost like we're speaking different languages at times. People up here are a lot more aloof. Not in a rude way, but they just seem less interested in talking to strangers and perhaps more guarded? I just think after you leave high school it gets harder and harder to make friends.

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somuchstrange t1_j8ngxia wrote

I lived in King County for almost three years (Seattle for outsiders) and made friends who also came from the Midwest and they couldn't make friends up there either. The Seattle freeze is harsh. They love people not from the U.S. but if you're from any of the 50 states then you're a transplant (never heard that as a term for humans) and you should try moving to _(any city they come up with) because you'll like it better there as if it's an option to just move somewhere. One of the people I made friends with said she got along well with someone at a party, tried to exchange contact info (both had partners, it was obviously for a friendship) and the seattleite said "I have enough friends, I don't need any more." Hated it there. All of WA us not like that, though. I don't know if it's still happening but seattleites were having trouble getting hired in other WA cities because of their awful behavior. The one thing they have going for them is that they will stand up for injustices of others in other states...just don't have those people move there to Seattle lol

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bubbleyum92 t1_j9jb9i4 wrote

Oh wow that's a bummer! We recently visited Seattle for a few days and loved it. I actually had a nice convo in line for a donut place which was definitely unusual haha

Yes, I've heard the condescending "transplants" term a lot. I get why people are afraid of outsiders ruining their cities, but it's just inevitable that people are going to move there. I mean, when I left AR we were having our own influx of transplants (although they're usually called Yankees back home lol) and I have no idea why people would want to live there! But it's easy to see why people would be drawn to places like Portland and Seattle.

Seeing all the BLM and pride flags in almost every business or home was pretty cool, though. They're good people just not very social. Hell, I'm that way most of the time lol

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