People underestimate how hard vampire's life is. We have nothing to do in the morning (good luck if you are having insomnia) we have to constantly watch out for garlic, silver , UV light, you name it.

Garlic is specially bothersome. If you live in Italy or the middle east or Mexico you are literally gonna starve to death. Every single human blood is filled with that crap.

And like all that shit was not enough we had to be invited into a house to attack a human. No one is wondering in parks at midnight anymore. And I prefer garlic to blood of a junkie.

And contrary to popular beliefs not all of us are hot sexy charmers. I am an introvert and I hate talking to people.

It all blew up when I went to this old woman's house last week. Stop judging me. I was starving and no one would invite an ugly 6 feet giant into their house.

I saw an old woman watching outside from window. She saw me and waved her hands. So I waved back. Before I know she was at the front door. "Come inside honey! I have pie and hot tea. And it's cold outside."

I thought it was a win-win situation. She was alone and I was hungry. So I came inside. She poured me a cup of tea and served it with a slice of freshly backed apple pie. We talked a little. I didn't want to hurt her so I asked her to turn around. For some reason she was smiling. Then I fed.

So far so good I thought. But it all went to hell from there. Usually my victims were throwing me out of the building. You see, there is something people don't know. We also need permission to exit their house. Yah I know it sounds stupid. Like what idiot would come up with that?

It is usually not that bad though. When you are attacked by something the first thing you say is "leave me alone" or "get out of my house" or something like that. Not this time!

Old hag actually enjoyed her blood being sucked out. I was like : honey I need to go. It will be morning soon. you might die. And she was like: no, I am sure you are still hungry. And giving away some blood is good for my health. So I fed and fed and before you know I was asleep on the couch.

When I woke up it was already morning. I begged her to let me go. Threatened her, sucked her blood without anesthetic, did other evil things but she would not let me go. I stayed at her home for six bloody nights.

So I finally did what I had to! I turned her! Now she is my sidekick and blood child. her name is Greta. Other vampires are laughing at me, "what a hot new blood you got there loser!" But I don't mind. She is annoying as hell and she smells. But hey. You gotta do what you gotta do to survive.

"I thought you didn't have to wait for permission with public spaces?" I asked as I turned off the last of the small computers in the small upstairs area. Gustav waited as only an immortal can, arms crossed behind his back, head bowed slightly, black hair swept back.

"A common misconception," he clarified. Even after centuries in America, there was the faintest hint of his original Swedish still in his voice. "Before we were publicly known, it was Hell trying to visit any library."

"I can only imagine," I said, heading back to the desk, tapping my pockets to make sure I had everything.

"It was a matter of timing," he clarified, looking up, carnelian flashing in his eyes for a moment before vanishing, returning to their normal rich brown. "If I timed it right, someone would be willing to hold the door open for me."

"Small courtesies go a long way," I agreed, nodding, heading towards the vampire. No matter how many times I did this, the moment of thrill as I turned off the light would live with me. Beyond the windows, the lights of the city glittered, distant sparkling topaz, diamond, and emerald. However, I was still alone, in the dark, with an immortal, one who had subsisted on heaven only knew how many lives before artificial blood had been perfected. "Bad timing tonight?" I asked, knowing he could still see me, still knew where I was in the darkness, likely heard the elevation of my pulse.

"Is it so hard to believe Will that I wanted to wait for you? That I enjoy your company?" he asked, cold breath stirring against my right ear. His hand was the cold of a tombstone in winter, but as it wrapped around mine, the chill wasn't the reason I shivered.

"Please, let's get going," I said, knowing I was blushing and wondering what that smelled like to him.

The cafe was a cacophony of noise - the clatter of plates, the hiss of the coffee machine, the chatter of customers. The four vampire hunters slipped inside, their eyes scanning the crowd. They looked like any other group of friends catching up over coffee.

"Snake, make sure no one gives him permission to leave," said Owl.

"Got it," Snake replied as she scanned the room.

The vampire sat at a corner table in the bustling cafe, sipping his coffee and tapping away on his sleek MacBook. He wore a plain white t-shirt and jeans, looking like any other young professional in the city. His jet-black hair was styled neatly, and his sharp features were almost handsome. But there was something about his piercing gaze that made him seem otherworldly. A red pendant hung from his neck. It was a double-edged sword - an enchanted device that allowed him to dwell without thirst for blood and protected him from daylight's wrath but also revealed his nature to anyone who knew its purpose.

The hunters ordered coffee and began chatting while keeping an eye on the vampire. After about half an hour, he finished his third cup of coffee, then stood up and made to leave the cafe.

Snake suddenly cried, "Everyone, look at me and say 'no'!"

It seemed like a silly plan, but it was one that experience had taught her worked. The other patrons looked at her curiously but did as they were told. The vampire reached for the door handle but couldn't turn it. He tried again but still couldn't leave.

"Gotcha," said Owl softly as they quickly surrounded the vampire. The vampire hissed, so Owl leaned into him and whispered, "Resist, and we will kill everyone in this cafe. We would rather keep a low profile, so I hope you don't push us to that option."

The vampire stiffened, but he made no moves.

Owl smiled. "Good choice. Now, follow us and be on your best behavior, understand?"

He nodded. They led him outside, the other patrons still looking on in confusion.

As they led him to the van they'd arrived in, the vampire hissed, "Vardic sent you, didn't he? You're wasting your time; I'll run away again. I'm not going to kill for him."

Owl shrugged. "Not our problem. We only do the job we're paid for."

"So you're hired hunts? Who are you people?"

"The Band of Night."

The vampire's brow furrowed. "Never heard of you."

"Good."

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[removed]

Heads up: Misread the prompt and thought it said they can't leave without permission, just saw they also can't enter. We're rolling with only they can't leave.

​

Being a vampire sucks, no pun intended. At least it does now; we used to be scary, intimidating creatures of the night. Then there came the fucking 90s and 2000s and writers decided to make us romantic and all, granted I am good looking. I lived and fought wars in the dark ages before becoming a vampire and sent terror throughout the heartlands of countries. Now I'm scared of going to try and catch a meal and here is why: that old tale of having to ask permission to enter an abode is backwards, instead we have to ask permission to leave.

You see, in today's world people get alerted to us coming in most of the time between the ring and doorbell cameras. They wake up and we can't leave until we're told to which sometimes is easy enough, because most rational people tell this intruder to get out, but then you have the weird ones. The one's who obsessed over Interview with a Vampire, Twilight, or God forbid a goth person. Let me tell you a story from about four years ago.

I was in this quaint and cozy town up north and had seen this woman that night who I knew was going to be my target. Yeesh, I sound stalker-ish. Anyways using these powers of stealth and transformation gifted to me by vampirism, I followed her and waited as a crow on a light post for her to go to bed. As soon as I saw the lights go out, it was go time. The dinner bell rang and the persistent hunger was waiting to be appeased. So I slipped into her home. That's when the lights turned on and I froze like a deer in the headlights.

"I knew it!" a feminine declared. My eyes darted to her and then they took in the surrounding decorations I had carelessly ignored. Vampire posters everywhere. She even had a cardboard standee of Edward that one gets at the movies. This woman of thirty something was obsessed with vampires. She was even wearing a Bella Lugosi t-shirt for pajamas.

"Uh, knew what?" I questioned. Her smile turned into a insane smile and eyes widened with a manic glee. "I'm here to uh, rob you! Now that I've been caught, I guess I'll just leave."

"Oh no, you didn't come in like a normal robber would! You flew down in through the chimney! I watched you!"

"Whaaaat? That was just a crow! I came in through your basement!"

"I don't have a basement." I stood there, nervously cupping and rubbing my hands.

"You're right, then I guess you know what I am." I shift my tone, trying to intimidate her with it becoming menacing.

"You're a vampire!" She was not frightened. Hell the smile didn't hardly fall. "I've known your kind existed! And I also know your secret."

Shit.

"You can't leave unless I give you permission."

"No, no, I can leave whenever I want. Like I'm going to do."

"Then go ahead." I walked to the door with confidence and swung it open. The cold air hit my face and I stared outside into the empty street but my legs would not go over the thresh hold. Freedom stood just beyond the opening mocking me. She smiled seductively as she walked forth without fear and softly shut the door in my face. She looked up at me with those radiant brown eyes that I instantly looked away from as she was trying to charm me. "I can't let you leave, Mr. Edward."

"Mister what?" I questioned as I backed away.

"You see, I've been hoping one of you would stop by," she said as she pressed forward after me. "I've been waiting for my Edward Cullen, my Louis, or Vlad and here you are." It was at this point I knew, I fucked up. This woman was a like Meg from Family Guy but worse. She was at least attractive, but that didn't detract from the psycho vibe being put on. "I've read so much, about how when a vampire sires someone they're linked forever."

"Uh no, that's not-"

"You're an awful liar." She again smiled and let out a soft giggle.

"I need to get home really, my vampire wife is going to come looking."

"You're not leaving. Not without me."

Ha, we leave. I transform. She'll never catch up to me!

"Um okay, let's go then!"

"Oh no, I'm not leaving until you turn me. Then will be together forever." That last word echoed in my mind. Forever. I'm five hundred years old. This woman is not who I'd want to spend eternity with. I'd rather let myself die, but death by sunlight is long and tortuous. There was only one thing, I knew to do. With all my power and all my strength, the lights in the room dimmed and I felt my face shift and my teeth change into the nightmarish creature I was.

"Oh! Mood lighting," she exclaimed. I froze, my brow raising as she flipped her long black hair to the side and exposed her neck. "Go for it."

What the fuck. It's either turn her and be stuck with her or be stuck with her in this house with no source of food, except her. I mean I could kill her. That's it! I let my nails elongate to razors and raised my hand, my target being her arteries that were pulsating with blood but she suddenly whipped out something that blinded me.

"Yeah no, that's now how this gonna work," she stated. I knew what she had brought out. It was a crucifix. I shied away down the hall to get away from her. "You have no chance. I know everything about you."

This was indeed a nightmare and I was at Towton seeing men get slaughtered. I quickly scurried into a bathroom and shut the door, locking it. I looked to the shower and above it was a small window. Maybe, just maybe. I opened it and stuck my hand outside to feel it immediately burn like the sun had hit it. The pain was awful and I quickly yanked it back inside. My skin was reddened like that of a sunburn. I saw the doorknob rattling.

"Jokes on you, I got a key!" I heard her leave and then come marching back. The latch turned and the door swung open. She stood there with that same demented smile on her face. "Edward, there's no escape. If you want to leave, you just have to bite me," she stated. "I'm not all bad."

"Lady you're worse than Elizabeth Bathory," I said. "And I knew her personally! And my name is Robert! I don't sparkle!"

"I promise you, we'd be a perfect power couple. Otherwise, I'm going to keep you trapped here and no one will hear you scream."

Well what choice did I have. Bite her and be semi free, or be stuck forever a prisoner. Looking back, I'd have chosen neither and have somehow offed myself. Now here we are. Me and Lucy. Sitting here watching this couple get ready for bed on a light pole. I'm a terrible judge of character as this has shown so maybe, just maybe, these two are vampire hunters.

"Are you ready Edward?" she asked.

"For death, yes."

It is currently the third day of my confinement in this damnable cabin.

There is nothing to do here. The computer has a game of solitaire, and there is a pack of cards in a kitchen cabinet. He must have loved that game. There is no connection, not to the internet nor any sort of television network. I think the lightning might have fried the cables or something.

The door, of course, won't open, and neither will the windows. I can damage the walls, but I can't knowingly destroy them. Though I wouldn't have been able to crawl through the holes anyway if I could.

This is stupid.

Day five.

Trying to entertain myself. Solitaire is hard. I wouldn't have even known the rules if they weren't on the computer. Getting better, though. Think you have to, if you play this much. 

Nobody's been by. Obviously. Is this how he lived, just playing cards all day? Nobody seems to care that he hasn't left the place.

The stench is horrible.

Day 10

Been trying some woodcarving. I made a fang. Typical, I know, but it's a simple shape. Maybe I'll move on to an apple or something. Always thought those were pretty.

I found something nice in the old fart's notebook today. Thought that thing was just full of score tables, but no. Solitaire variants. He made up tons of them. Or copied them down, I don't know. Definitely revitalized the game. Trying to beat his Honeycomb Solitaire scores. No luck so far. Guy was a pro.

Day 13

Food's getting low. Just a couple bags of blood left. I'm hunting every critter that enters, but that won't be enough for long.

There is a town nearby, but somehow nobody's come here yet. No hikers passing by the window, even. Just white and green as far as the eye can see.

 Day 14

Found myself carving a wooden stake today. Even poked my finger on it. Fucking edgelord, I am.

Once upon a time, there was a man. The man was stupid and lived in his stupid mountain cabin, where he played stupid card games all day. He had no friends or family or anything, which was stupid. One stormy day, as he was playing Stupid Old Man Solitaire #6, he heard a knock on the door and let in a stranger. This was pretty stupid of him too. Then the stranger stupidly revealed herself to be a vampire and he stupidly fell onto a table corner in shock. It was all very stupid.

Fucking let me out already there is a HOLE in the WALL, I threw him out, he's out there now, isn't he beckoning me out? He sure is, isn't he? I can almost hear it. Positively, he'd want me to join him outside. Definitely.

COME ON GOD DAMN IT THERE'S A HOLE

More holes. More tricks. Nothing fucking WORKS

Blood's gone. Goddamn blizzard just started. Good thing I can't freeze. Bad thing humans can.

Literally how has this thing not collapsed yet? Can it even be said that there's a cabin here anymore? I've carved so many holes, this is practically just a ruin. Ruins aren't homes. I can just. Walk. Out.

I hereby give me formal permission to leave this cabin. Old man hereby gives me formal permission to leave this cabin. Rat hereby gives me formal permission to leave this cabin. Cabin hereby gives me formal permission to leave this cabin.

UGH

Places without doors are definitely not homes, right? Right. So why the FUCK

Doorframes were not the problem

At least I beat his fucking solitaire scores