People underestimate how hard vampire's life is. We have nothing to do in the morning (good luck if you are having insomnia) we have to constantly watch out for garlic, silver , UV light, you name it.

Garlic is specially bothersome. If you live in Italy or the middle east or Mexico you are literally gonna starve to death. Every single human blood is filled with that crap.

And like all that shit was not enough we had to be invited into a house to attack a human. No one is wondering in parks at midnight anymore. And I prefer garlic to blood of a junkie.

And contrary to popular beliefs not all of us are hot sexy charmers. I am an introvert and I hate talking to people.

It all blew up when I went to this old woman's house last week. Stop judging me. I was starving and no one would invite an ugly 6 feet giant into their house.

I saw an old woman watching outside from window. She saw me and waved her hands. So I waved back. Before I know she was at the front door. "Come inside honey! I have pie and hot tea. And it's cold outside."

I thought it was a win-win situation. She was alone and I was hungry. So I came inside. She poured me a cup of tea and served it with a slice of freshly backed apple pie. We talked a little. I didn't want to hurt her so I asked her to turn around. For some reason she was smiling. Then I fed.

So far so good I thought. But it all went to hell from there. Usually my victims were throwing me out of the building. You see, there is something people don't know. We also need permission to exit their house. Yah I know it sounds stupid. Like what idiot would come up with that?

It is usually not that bad though. When you are attacked by something the first thing you say is "leave me alone" or "get out of my house" or something like that. Not this time!

Old hag actually enjoyed her blood being sucked out. I was like : honey I need to go. It will be morning soon. you might die. And she was like: no, I am sure you are still hungry. And giving away some blood is good for my health. So I fed and fed and before you know I was asleep on the couch.

When I woke up it was already morning. I begged her to let me go. Threatened her, sucked her blood without anesthetic, did other evil things but she would not let me go. I stayed at her home for six bloody nights.

So I finally did what I had to! I turned her! Now she is my sidekick and blood child. her name is Greta. Other vampires are laughing at me, "what a hot new blood you got there loser!" But I don't mind. She is annoying as hell and she smells. But hey. You gotta do what you gotta do to survive.