"So, I may have done a tiny, morally questionable thing with your DNA," I said, holding out the envelope.
"Jeez, do I want to know?"
"It was just one of those test kits, ya know? I figure, we know you're adopted. And the friendly animal stuff has been ramping up lately. And you've always been a great singer. And, well, you know I'm a curious sort of person. But I didn't want to see it without you. And can you just take it already?" The last bit was in mock anger and real frustration.
"Ok, ok," Jack replied, grabbing and opening it in one swift motion. He glanced over the results, and I moved to read over his shoulder. "Um, I don't understand half of this, but... Can I ask how you chose this DNA testing service?"
"Ah, yeah. That's definitely relevant. I mean, they're mostly used to check if... collector's items?"
"That sounds wrong but go on."
"Well, to see if those are legitimate. But because of that, they have the highest number of... celebrities, and rich people, sports guys and such."
"Such as in, say, royalty?" They just had to add a crown to the logo.
"I mean, like I said, the animals and the singing. I mean, there are three butterflies on you right now. And you have impossible upper body strength. Not that I'm complaining." He blushed. I probably did, too.
"Listen, Rita, thanks. I think it's really creepy what you did, but I also appreciate it. Don't do it to anyone else, okay?"
"Gasp!" I said the word while pretending to clutch at pearls. "What kind of women do you take me for?"
"Oh, you have been spending too much time with my ma," he chuckled and handed me the paper. "Now, do you understand any of this?"
"Yeah, let me just-oh my... Um..."
"What?"
"Do you want to know who your mother is?" "Really?"
"Yeah, looks like one of the princes isn't as charming as he thought." "What? Oh... Oh!" "Good news though, Queen Afrodille was royalty even before her marriage, so you are, technically, a prince."
"Illegitimate prince."
"Hey, let's not split hairs."