"By jingo, that was a riot." said the Princess.

"Hold still; you've got brains in your hair." Said the knight as he pulled lumps of sticky pink matter from her blonde locks.

"Ewww, that's gross." She said, leaning back. She felt the hard steel of his codpiece nestled against the small of her back.

" I say, is that a codpiece, or are you pleased to see me?" said the Princess with a giggle.

"Ok, missy, let's get one thing straight. I'm here to rescue you, and that's it. No funny business, ok?"

"Boooooring." The Princess replied as she spun around and fell against his breastplate.

The knight held out his arms and took a step backwards. The Princess stumbled, falling forward, her forehead meeting the spike on his sabaton with a squelch.

The knight looked down. The protruding spike parted her blond locks as it dripped blood and brain.

"Bugger."