“Yes, well done brave hero!” said the princess after Lorrath, the evil king, collapsed to the ground.

David took a deep breath and resheathed his sword, then turned to the princess: “Yes, thank you. Are you unhurt? Let us go now.”

“Oh, I’ll go with you anywhere! But come untie me first.”

“Sure sure, I’ll free you and take you home. Where do you live?” said David as he undid the rope that bound the princess to one of the stone columns at the back of the room.

“Oh hero, thank you, but don’t take me back to my parents, take me with you on your adventures instead!”

“No,” quickly replied David, obviously prepared for this line of dialogue. “I can’t take you with me. Besides just how old are you? Fifteen? Sixteen?”

“I am seventeen actually,” said the princess with an unmistakable tone of pride, “and I’m old enough for adventuring.”

“Fine, you can set off on a magical journey by yourself, after I take you home first,” said David, as he grabbed the princess by the hand and led her out of the room.

The princess tried to adjust her stride to keep up with his, but her gown made this very difficult, and while unsteadily following behind she started speaking: “But my knight, you don’t seem to understand. I’ve fallen for you the moment I saw you enter the room. May I ask for your name?”

“Yes, yes. Name’s David. Pleasure to be of service,” said David offhandedly. Can’t they ever come up with a more convincing line?

“Oh David, what a fitting name for a mighty knight like yourself. My name is Jazmyn.”

David? Nobody’s named like that anymore. Is this guy like 40? Ugh, just my luck… Oh well, no matter.

“I must thank you once more for your help. Fighting for my sake, what a noble thing! Won’t you stay by my side, protect me and keep me safe forever more?”

They were now hastily descending the long flight of stairs leading down from the upper ward of the tower.

“Look kid, I’m just doing my job. Let’s hurry out of here before some of these monsters respawn. I killed quite a few on my way up. Lorrath himself might come back at some point.”

What the hell is wrong with this guy? Is he new to this?

The main door of the castle was in sight at last, and David let out a sigh of relief. Whew, another job done without getting hurt. Luck had been on his side lately with these easier dungeons.

“Ah, how very selfless of you, saving me without any expectation of recompense. But nonetheless, knight David, I wish to reward you with the most precious of gifts,” said Jazmyn as they stepped into the daylight. She paused her walk and said with a soft and enticing voice, “I want you to take me as your bride.”

Ah, here we go again, thought David, as he turned around to address the princess: “Princess, Jazmyn, I saved you because it’s my job. Plus by law, I am entitled to receive compensation from the knights guild for my work. So you’re safe, I get my money, and everyone’s happy.”

“Wha…?” The unfinished word escaped Jazmyn’s mouth. “Wait a minute, this isn’t right… You’re meant to rescue me and marry me and then we live happily ever after or something.”

“Princess, I don’t know where you read that, but this isn’t a fairy tale. Most of us are in this line of work for the money. We have families to take care of… Look, you’re safely out of the castle now so that counts as a job done. If you want to tag along I’ll escort you to the neighboring village. Otherwise I’ll be off,” said David. Then he turned away and began to walk towards his horse, tethered to a nearby post.

Did this guy just turn me down? What the hell?

Jazmyn fell to her knees in disbelief. Then started shouting after the knight: “This is not how it’s supposed to go! I was going to get a knight for a husband and go on adventures! How am I supposed to face my parents after this? Tell them I was rescued and then rejected!?”

But David had mounted his horse and was now almost out of sight.

“Fuck you David!!”

—

Cold air radiates from the old stone walls. The familiar coarse texture of rope grazes her wrists.

“Now now, maybe you’re just not attractive enough?” says Lorrath with a good laugh. “Well, not a problem. I’m happy to keep you around for a while longer. It’s good bait for fights and if I win I get great EXP.”

“Whatever…” says Jazmyn.